Every word sounds like Aiden. Except none of it makes a difference.
“He still destroyed my family, Reg.” I choke back a heaving sob.
Bob shakes his head. “I don’t believe it. It would have hurt you too much. Why would he want you to hate him?”
I swallow because Bob doesn’t know the truth. Nor does Reagan. Aiden had every reason to want me to hate him. Every reason to want me to leave him.
But I can’t tell them that.
“How can I help Javier, Bob? Please!”
“Elisa, I can’t represent him because you’re my client and that’s a conflict of interest. But Benetto is top-notch. He doesn’t take a lot of pro bono cases so something must have moved him.”
“What are his chances? The truth please.”
Bob takes my hand. “Not great, my dear. The argument for undue hardship on the family is common but it rarely wins. There are compelling circumstances here, but his family needs to be prepared.”
My dad’s watch ticks 3:45 p.m. “Elisa, you should sign so we can send it off before FedEx gets here,” Bob says gently.
I look at the papers in front of me. My American dream. But what makes a dream, a dream? For me, it was a new life free of ghosts. I won’t have that here anymore. Javier and Aiden will haunt me. I can’t see Javier. And in the off chance that he is allowed to stay, he wouldn’t fill Aiden’s void or undo his betrayal. If I will be haunted anyway, there is only one place for me. It has waited—they have waited—for me to face it for four years.
And I can save six lives. Without Javier, four girls may become wards of the state with an aging mother, an ill father and no brother. Even with Javier, they’re still in peril with Antonio paralyzed and no income from Feign. It’s fitting that my first family—Dad’s invention—should save my second.
“I’m sorry, Bob. I cannot sign. Please put the million dollars in trust for Maria and Antonio Solis, with Javier, Isabel, Isadora, Daniela and Anamelia Solis as beneficiaries if Maria and Antonio pass away. Javier Solis is the administrator, effective immediately.”
Reagan starts sobbing. “Isa, no! Bob, tell her! Tell her she can’t do this!”
A tear leaves Bob’s eye. “Legally, she can. But Elisa, you’re destroying your dream.”
“One dream above seven is too high a price.”
He watches me for a long time. “May I give you some advice?”
I nod.
“It’s wise to make the parents, not the girls, the beneficiaries because the hardship must be to the U.S. citizens for Javier to win. If the girls have the money, he has no prayer. It’s also smart to make Javier the administrator because he has an extra duty that would require him to stay here. I suspect that’s why you suggested it. But it’s not wise to release the funds now.”
“Why not?”
“Because if they have a million dollars before the hearing, Javier will never win.”
I rage at the impossible choice. Destroy a family to save one, or destroy one to save them all.
“But, there’s a legal solution. I’ll hold the funds in your trust account until Javier’s hearing on June fifteenth. You’ll be gone by then. I’ll release the money that day no matter what happens. But it’s imperative that none of them knows about this.”
“Why not?”
“Because if ICE finds them and they have to testify that they’ll suffer hardship without Javier, they’d be lying under oath if they knew your sacrifice. No one will know what you did here today until you’re gone.”
“I don’t care about that if it helps them.”
“One million dollars will help them. But you should take some of the money to see you through the transition.”
I think this through. I want none of it but how am I going to get home? I can’t borrow from Reagan. The ticket alone will be about $2,000.
“I’ll take ten thousand, as much in cash as possible.”
Bob nods and goes to speak to his accounting manager. Reagan and I hold each other while we wait.
“I don’t know how to say goodbye to you,” Reagan sniffles.
“Let’s not please. I’m barely standing.”
“I’ll come see you right after Javier’s hearing. I’ll bring your stuff, and we can just be for a while.”
I nod in her arms and bury my face in her red curls. Sooner than time can possibly move, Bob returns with an envelope of cash and a check. I sign and he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“When do you leave?”
“Today if I can find a flight.”
Reagan whimpers but Bob nods. “If you have to face it, start now. And if you stay, you may have to testify that you witnessed Javier’s illegal work. You help them more by being gone.”
“Thank you, Bob. For everything.” These years were worth it for people like him.
He starts shaking my hand, but at the last moment pulls me into his chest for a grandfather hug. He walks us out, and waves as Reagan races us to our next stop.
At Casa Solis, Maria is in the kitchen. The girls have a playdate and Antonio is with them. All the better. I can’t say goodbye to them. I tell Maria I love her con mi corazón y alma. I tell her Javier’s orders about the girls. I tell her she has a new daughter in Reagan. Then, I take her hand. Time for the truth. Or part of it.
“Maria, the lawyer says I need to go back to England for a while. I need to take care of the cottage too. Mr. Plemmons is getting old. I can’t abandon it.”
She looks at me for a very long time, the lines on her face now full wrinkles. She doesn’t speak. She knows there are other reasons so she doesn’t fight me. Her eyes brim with tears.
“¿Y tu amor?”
“He’ll go on. As will you. You know how you’re not telling the girls about Javier because some things are better not known until the end? Look at me. Whatever the end, the girls will be okay. Do you trust me?”
“Con toda mi vida.”
With her whole life. She holds my face with her nutmeg-scented hands and marks a cross in the air, over my forehead.
“Bendita,” she whispers as she blesses me. She stands slowly and takes my hand as we trudge to the door. At the threshold, she kisses my cheeks and combs my hair with her fingers.
“I love you, Mamá.”
She has earned it.
Maria closes her eyes and puts her hands together in prayer. Keep my girl safe, keep her safe.
* * * * *
In the car, Reagan takes over with the plan for my last two stops. I wait outside Aiden’s house while she packs my things. I recite the periodic table in English, Spanish and Italian as I wait. Finally, she bursts out with my rucksack, Benson on her heels. He looks severe but holds out his hand. I take it.
“Would it be futile to ask you to ignore everything you heard today?” Benson’s voice is staccato as if he wishes he could say more.
“I could ignore what I heard but not what he admitted. Whatever his reasons, the price was too high.”
Benson looks like he’s choking on unspoken words.
“Goodbye, Benson. If you’re ever in England alone, call me.”
His forehead shifts and locks, his eyes widening in terror. “England?”
“It’s my only home now. Thank you, and thank Cora, for everything.”
“Solis may still make it,” he protests, running his hand through his hair. He doesn’t understand that even saving Javier couldn’t fix losing Aiden. “What about Bob? Your green card? Your future? You said you were signing,” Benson presses urgently. His voice is higher than I thought it capable of getting. I risk a peck on his cheek.
“Take care of him. Make sure he sees Corbin.”
I turn quickly and get in the car, while Benson stares at me without blinking. Reagan hits the gas. In the rearview mirror, I see Benson sprint inside. I leave a similar message for Corbin from Reagan’s phone. Bless its lithium heart, it waits until I hang up to die. We’re all running out of life.
In our apartment, I pack my parents’ treasures and clothes for the next two weeks. When I open my knickers drawer, his shirt button rolls forward. I shove it back. I watch everything outside of my body. When dreams end, unfortunately, they don’t kill you.