“Of course I’ll wait for him, Shar,” Keren said. Seeing his puzzled expression, she clarified, “You’re wearing your feelings again.”
“I’m sorry. I wish there was a way…”
“We knew the risks.” With a distant look in her eyes, she said, “Jeshoh and I will have a home together someday. I know we will.” She patted his leg. “I have another reason for visiting. To say goodbye, yes, but I have a gift.”
“But—”
“No protests.” Reaching into her backpack, Keren removed a sealed container about the size of a dinner plate. “The eggs stripped from House Perian couldn’t all be saved. Most of them had been out of the water for too long under variable temperatures and became nonviable. The government destroyed them, but before they did I persuaded them to let me give you an egg pouch in thanks for your research.” Reaching out to take his hand, she turned it palm up and placed the container into it, smiling gently. “I know what you’re trying to do for your people, Shar. This way, you have proper samples to work with and not just computer models.”
Emotion tightened Shar’s throat. He swallowed, opened his mouth, but nothing emerged. Continuing to stare at her, he reached for her hands and squeezed them.
“It’s a small thing, Shar. You’ve more than paid for the right to take these.” Standing up, she lay her cheek in his hair for a moment and walked away. When he shook off his astonishment, he searched the courtyard for her, but she had vanished, leaving his life very much the way she had come into it.
The doors to his quarters opened and Nog poked his head out. “Hey, Shar. I’ve decided to head back to the ship. The commander called a minute ago. He said an encrypted message came through marked ‘eyes only,’ but apparently it was for you and not Vaughn. He’s having it rerouted here.”
“Thank you, Nog,” Shar said, gazing at the egg container. “I’ll be along soon. But I want to sit here for a few minutes longer.”
“Okay. I’ll see you shipboard then?”
Shar nodded.
He ran his fingers over Keren’s gift, imagining that the answers he’d sought his entire life might lie within. Bowing his head, he covered his eyes, offering gratitude to whatever power in the universe had brought him to this place at this time. He would never regret the choices that brought him here; he would never be the same person after today. For a moment he meditated, savoring the gentle trickle of water spilling over the fountain, the occasional rustle of leaves. When he opened his eyes, he was ready to return to duty. Holding the gift protectively against him, he entered his quarters.
* * *
Sleeping late was a rare indulgence, but it felt nice to flaunt the routine one last time before starting up the rigors of co-commanding a Starfleet mission. Soon enough, Ezri would be stumbling into the mess, muttering her request to the replicator and feeling her way to a table. Choosing to loll about, half dressed, eating a breakfast of succulent fresh fruits and licking the juice off your fingers wasn’t something she anticipated being able to do before she returned to Deep Space 9. Never mind that she had the guest quarters to herself. To provide him with adequate time to restock the medical bay, Julian had reported to duty two hours ago. Ezri stayed behind, wrapped up in her covers, relishing the warmth streaming through the courtyard windows. A check of the chronometer indicated she still had another hour before she met with Vaughn to allocate duty shifts. A walk. A walk sounds nice.She pulled on an old favorite pair of Academy sweats and ambled out to the balcony.
Spending these weeks on Luthia made her wonder if more nature could be incorporated into the station’s auspices. Outside the arboretum and a few botany labs, assuaging a craving for trees and flowers required time in a holosuite, or a trip to Bajor. Leisurely, Ezri walked down the stairs, bending over to examine the fragrant ground cover. She took a seat on a bench, throwing her legs out in front of her, throwing back her head and closing her eyes, soaking up the light for a last few precious minutes.
“…I wish there was something we could have done. Dr. Girani had no idea the infirmary was missing anything and…”
Ezri sat up straight. I swear I heard voices.
“—until you come home. I don’t know what else to tell you. The others are too distraught to speak right now.”
She twisted around, trying to see who might still be in quarters because if she had to guess, she’d just heard Charivretha zh’Thane. Maybe I drank too much wine last night or those chocolate pastries didn’t sit well with my stomach.Shar’s courtyard door was open, the curtains blowing. Cautiously, Ezri approached the open door. The closer she came, the more clear the voice and as she listened, the context became clear. Standing outside, Ezri braced herself on the doorway, willing her thudding heart to stop. What can I do?She considered walking away. Invading his privacy right now could be exactly the wrong thing—or it could be exactly what he needed. She pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside.
With his back to the courtyard door, he sat on the floor in front of the console. She had been right—the speaker was zh’Thane. The Federation Councillor sat in a chair in what looked like VIP quarters on DS9, the pain etched on her face expressing more than her words could.
“Her death was painless. I know you wouldn’t have wanted her to suffer. None of us understand why she did it. She seemed—better. I am sorry, mychei.”
The screen turned to static and then the message replayed.
“Thirishar, I wish I could be sending this message under happier circumstances, but a great tragedy has befallen us—”
Ezri knelt down, touched Shar’s shoulder. He turned with a start, his limbs trembling uncontrollably. Wide-eyed, he stared at Ezri, his pain, unfathomable. Helplessness swelled inside her and she ached for him. She opened and closed her mouth several times, searching for words. I shouldn’t be here.Zh’Thane’s heartbreaking message continued to play in the background. What can I give him? I’m not equipped for this—I can’t make it better!From deep inside her, an answer, of a kind, came. Not so much an answer as a knowing, a knowing from Dax.
You. He needs you, Ezri.
Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry…” She gathered him into her arms and he yielded to her touch.
They wept together.
Epilogue
“I’m not an invalid!” protested Kasidy.
“No, you’re not,” Kira said patiently, clearing the dessert plates off the coffee table and heading off to the kitchen, “but you’ve spent the last half hour rubbing your arches. Your feet must be killing you after our walk today. Let me remind you that visiting every last stall at the market was your idea.”
“If my feet get any bigger, I’m going to have to attach warnings to my shoes saying, ‘Watch out—wide berth.’” Wincing, she threw her body forward, hoping the momentum would help her off the couch. The baby, however, had different ideas, choosing that moment to thrust its head squarely into her diaphragm. She grunted as it suddenly became hard to breathe. “I’ll think I’ll just stay here for a bit,” she said, settling back into the cushions. From across the room, Kasidy saw Kira grin.
“Having a laugh at my expense, Colonel?” Kasidy teased, grateful that Kira had gradually unwound over the past few days; initially, her smiles had been infrequent.
Upon arrival, Kira had been so pale (Kasidy swore she’d lost weight as well), Kasidy thought she might be coming down with something serious. A more logical explanation for her condition quickly became apparent: she hadn’t been on Bajor an hour before the station contacted her, with the next message arriving fifteen minutes after the first. Kasidy had quickly instituted a daily pattern of long walks—asking Kira to leave her combadge back at the house.