‘Oh.’ Her eyes fall to the blue plastic floor. ‘It’s always been ours.’
She means their story and connection. And I’ve severed it. The woman standing in front of me has always exuded confidence and cockiness, and I have striped her down to the bare truth. I do feel sorry for her. I’m feeling sorry that I have everything she wants, and I’ve got it with the man who she wants it with. She tried to take her own life, but that will never make me stand down. Nothing will ever make me stand down. Not scorned ex-lovers, high-class sex clubs, drink problems, psychotic ex-wives, the shock of a lost daughter, or the desolation of Sarah. Neither will the madness that surrounds all of those reasons. This Man has thrown everything at me, and I still don’t plan on going anywhere. Unbreakable.
‘Can I see him?’ she asks quietly. ‘I’ll understand if you refuse.’
I should refuse, but compassion refuses to let me. I need closure on this, and she does, too. ‘Sure. I’ll wait here.’ I sit myself down on a hard plastic chair and watch her disappear into his room.
I don’t need to hear what will be said. I have a good idea, anyway, so instead I finish my chocolate bar, my body thanking me for the instant sugar hit.
‘Ava?’
I look up and see Jesse’s mum and sister hurrying down the corridor. ‘Hi,’ I speak around a mouthful of chocolate and hold my hand up to signal my inability to say any more.
‘The nurse said he’s awake. Jesse’s awake.’ Beatrice looks over at the door, then back to me.
I nod and chew fast, swallowing so I can give her the information she needs. ‘He’s fine. Grumpy but fine.’
‘Oh, thank you, Jesus!’ She turns and throws her arms around Amalie. ‘He’s going to be okay.’
I watch as Amalie smiles over her mum’s shoulder at me. ‘Grumpy?’
‘Or stubborn—whichever.’ I shrug on a smile, and her green eyes glimmer in understanding.’
‘The latter, for sure.’ she confirms, holding her sobbing mother in her arms. ‘It’s good to see you eating.’
I look down at the wrapper of the chocolate bar I’ve just demolished and smile, thinking how good it feels to eat. I could easily tuck away another. ‘Where’s Henry?’ I ask.
‘Just parking the car. Would you mind if we see him?’ Amalie asks.
I’m very abruptly hit with the hard realisation that Jesse doesn’t know they’re here. And I have no idea how to handle it. After our last encounter with his parents, I should avoid subjecting him to the potentially stressful situation, but my conniving mind is jumping all over the fact that he can’t escape. And whilst I might be taking a huge risk, I know it will be my only opportunity to get them in the same room together. He will have to listen. If he doesn’t like what her hears, then so be it, but I’ve watched his family grieving. I saw it clearly, even through my own grief. Now is the time to put all wrongs right, no matter who is to blame. This is what I hope, but it’s his choice, and I’ll stick by whatever he decides.
‘I haven’t had the chance to tell him you’re here yet.’ I explain, almost apologetically. ‘As soon as he woke, the doctors were on him and now a friend is in there.’
‘Can you do that?’ Beatrice breaks away from Amalie and retrieves a tissue from under the cuff of her cardigan. ‘Can you tell him we’re here?’
‘Of course, but…’
Amalie cuts me off. ‘We don’t want him upset, so don’t push it.’
‘You’ll try, though.’ Beatrice clasps my hands pleadingly. ‘Please, try hard for me, Ava.’
‘I will.’ I feel the pressure, but I also feel the desperation that’s seeping from every pore of this lady. I’m the key to her re-connecting with her son. She knows it, Amalie knows it, and I know it.
We all turn when the door to Jesse’s room opens and Sarah steps out. She’s been crying, and as she lifts her hand to wipe her eyes, the sleeve of her jacket rides up and I see a bandage around her wrist. But I’m distracted from this when I feel the hackles on Jesse’s mother rise.
Sarah’s tear drenched eyes widen in shock. ‘Beatrice?’ she splutters, shutting the door.
‘What the hell are you doing here, you vindictive bitch!’ Jesse’s mother snipes coldly. It doesn’t take any more words to confirm that Beatrice knows about Sarah and Jesse’s encounter and the events that followed—the events that took her granddaughter.
‘Mother!’ Amalie yells, shocked.
I’m shocked. Sarah is definitely shocked, and then the door to Jesse’s room swings open and he’s standing there, shocked. I gasp and rush over to him, noting he’s wrapped in a thin sheet at the waist and has practically dragged his drip and catheter frame with him. ‘Jesse, for God’s sake!’
‘Mum?’ he looks so confused and a little unsteady.
Jesse’s mother’s screwed up face of hatred softens immediately at the sight of her son looking so pale. ‘Oh Jesse, you stupid man. Get back in bed now!’
I’m even more shocked now. I look up and find nothing but puzzlement on his bearded, dazed face, and then I turn, seeing Beatrice clearly fighting her motherly instinct to put him back in bed herself. I’m not sure what to make of it. Is she even entitled to demand such a thing?
This is an incredibly bizarre situation, but as I watch Sarah skulk off quietly and see Amalie and Beatrice scanning Jesse’s tall frame worriedly, I quickly snap back into action. ‘Give me five minutes, Beatrice.’ I say, pushing Jesse back into the room and shutting the door behind me. ‘What do you think you’re playing at? Get in bed!’
His mouth falls open to yell at me, but soon snaps shut again when he starts to sway.
‘Oh shit!’ I’ll never catch him. ‘Shit, shit, shit!’ I drop my bag and frantically guide him back to the bed, but I can do nothing more than let him collapse in a heap of hard muscle. ‘You’re an idiot, Ward.’ I’m so mad with him. ‘Why can’t you do what you’re bloody told?’ I sort his drip and catheter out before heaving his heavy legs into place and re-covering him with the sheet.
‘I feel pissed.’ he slurs, lifting his arm and draping his it across his head.
‘You got up too quickly.’
‘What are they doing here, Ava?’ he asks quietly. ‘I don’t want to see them.’
My shoulders droop spectacularly, but I quickly check his dressing before sitting on his bed and pulling his arm away from his hiding face. He looks at me with beseeching eyes. It kills me, but I’m going to try anyway.
‘You have me, and I’m all you need, I know that; but this is a chance to put everything in your life right. Just give them a few minutes. I’m here forever, no matter what, but I can’t let you pass up an opportunity to find peace in this element of your life, Jesse.’
‘I don’t want anything to ruin what I have.’ he grates the words through his clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut.
‘Listen to me.’ I grab his cheek and wiggle it, prompting him to open his eyes. ‘After everything we have been through, do you really think there is anything else that could possibly fracture what we have?’ If that is his only concern, then I’m more determined to repair this. ‘It’ll be done on your terms. We’ll take it slow, and they will accept it.’
‘I only need you.’ he murmurs bitterly, slipping his hand under his t-shirt and finding my tummy. ‘Just you and our babies.’
I sigh, placing my hand over his. ‘You don’t have to want something to need it, Jesse. We’re having twins. I know we have each other, but we’ll need our families, too. And I’d like our children to have two sets of grandparents. We’re not normal, but we should make our children’s lives as normal as possible. It won’t change us or what we have together.’
I can see him grasping my logic, his pale face mulling over my statement until he nods lightly and gingerly pulls me down, engulfing me with his arms. I relax into him, thankful that he will at least attempt to do this. I won’t hold my breath for an instant remedy or reunion, but it’s a start. ‘Tell me you love me.’ he says into my hair.