I’m lifted up to his body, my arms sliding around his shoulders and my legs finding their favourite place as he walks us upstairs. It takes no thought or any mental encouragement for my lips to find his neck and kiss him. Just kiss him and smell him and feel him, all of his minty freshness and all of his hard edges comforting me deeply. I’m not going to press him for information. He could’ve easily used our recent news as the reason for his shock and I would have believed him, but he didn’t. He’s shared something, a part of himself. He’s confessed that he was a twin, not that he is a twin. And now his wife is pregnant with twins, and it has clearly unearthed something from deep within him.
He places me on the vanity unit in the bathroom and sets about his usual bath time routine of testing the temperature, pouring in the bath soak and swishing to instigate some bubbles. He collects the towels, arranges the toiletries by the side of the tub, and then returns to me once he’s done and the bath is full. He reaches to pull my vest up, resting his lips on mine as he does, and we fall straight into a slow massaging of each other’s tongues as he works my clothing, only pulling away briefly to get my vest past my face before we find ourselves again and continue with our sweet, lingering kiss. It’s a special kiss. A really special one, and I delay pulling off his t-shirt, just so I don’t have to leave his lips. This kiss is not leading to an intense love making session. This kiss is leading to him sharing something painful. Right now, when he’s pouring his love into me through our kiss, is his way of finding the strength to tell me his story. It’s his way of ensuring that I’m real before he off loads a past of pain.
My hands find their way under his t-shirt and to the hard, rippling waves of his stomach. ‘Take it off.’ he says between our mouths. ‘Please, take away everything between us.’
His request makes me falter slightly, but when his lips press a little harder, I find my flow again. That wasn’t just a plea to remove his clothes. I work fast. The urgency to get his bare skin on mine is very quickly my top priority, so I drop his mouth and pull his t-shirt up, then start on his jeans, pushing them down his legs so he can kick them off. I’m pulled down from the unit, my Thai pants are removed and my lace knickers are drawn down my thighs. I don’t miss the quick check for blood. There is none. Our babies are okay. I’m lifted to him, my hands sliding straight into his hair and my lips falling straight to his mouth as he steps into the bath with me wrapped around him and lowers to his knees.
‘Is the water okay?’ he mumbles as I settle on his thighs.
‘Fine,’ I press my body into his, my breasts flattening against the vast hardness of his chest, my elbows resting on his shoulders while my hands roam all over his head and my lips work relentlessly but softly.
‘Always fine,’ he whispers.
‘Always perfect if I have you,’
‘You have me,’ His fingers thread through my hair and grip before he pulls me back. I’m breathing all over his face. ‘You do know that, don’t you?’
‘You married me, of course I know.’
He shakes his head and grabs my hand, pulling off my wedding ring and holding it up. ‘Do you think this signifies my love for you?’
‘Yes,’ I admit quietly.
He smiles a little, as if I just don’t get it. I don’t. ‘Then we should get these diamonds removed and have it re-encrusted with my heart.’ He slowly slides it back onto my finger.
I dissolve in his lap and reach forward, resting my palm on his chest. ‘I like your heart exactly where it is.’ Leaning down, I place my lips on his skin. ‘I like how it swells when you look at me.’
‘Just for you, baby.’ He pushes our mouths together and spends a few moments reinforcing exactly that. ‘Let me bathe you.’ he mumbles, working his lips down to my throat. ‘Turn around for me.’
I begrudgingly let him shift me from his lap so he can come off his knees and sit back before he arranges me between his thighs and starts with his bathing routine. I sigh contentedly but say nothing. And I don’t plan on instigating tub-talk, either. Not this time. This is for him to lead. Of course, my curious mind has gone into overdrive, but I will not be the first one to break the comfortable silence. Besides, I’m lapping up the affection on Central Jesse Cloud Nine, and I’m revelling in it. My Lord’s past holds no significance to our future. He has said that before and now, more than ever, I know just what he meant.
‘Are you fine?’ he asks, working the sponge around the base of my neck.
I smile down into the water. ‘I’m okay.’
I watch the water ripple, the little waves lapping around me as he moves in closer and rests his mouth at my ear. ‘I’m a little worried about my defiant little temptress.’ he whispers.
I don’t want to come over all hot and tingly, but it’s something I’ll never prevent when he’s near, let alone breathing in my ear. I push my cheek into him. ‘Why?’
‘Because she’s too quiet when there’s information to be had.’ He kisses my temple and lays back, taking me with him.
‘If you want to tell me, then you will.’
His chest jolts a little beneath me on a silent laugh. ‘I’m not sure I like what pregnancy is doing to my girl.’ His hands come over and rest on my stomach. ‘First of all, she’s developed a phobia of my cock in her mouth.’ He lifts his hips into my lower back, as if demonstrating what I’m missing. I know exactly what I’m missing, and I’m not liking it. ‘And secondly, she’s not blessing me with her forceful demands for intelligence.’
I shrug nonchalantly. ‘My Lord isn’t blessing me with his wide range of expert fucking’s, so we’re even, aren’t we?’
He laughs, and I’m a little annoyed that I’m not facing him because if I was, I know I’d see the sparkle in his eyes and the light fans at the corners. ‘But she’s still blessing me with her filthy mouth.’ He gives me a little tweak above my hipbone, and I perform a little jerk and a yelp before he lets me settle again. The silence settles, too. I know his mind’s cogs are racing because I can hear them. It’s almost like he wants me to force him into spilling, but I’m not going to. We’re in a silent stand-off.
He eventually sighs and starts circling tiny rings with his fingertips on each side of my bellybutton. ‘His name was Jake.’ He doesn’t say any more than that. He just gives me his twin’s name and says no more, and I just lie quietly on him, waiting for him to elaborate. He needs to do this in his own time and without any encouragement from me. I know that he wants me to lead on from here, but I need him to confess everything willingly. ‘You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?’ he asks. He knows, so I remain silent. And then he sighs again, my body rising and falling with him. ‘He idolised me. He wanted to be me. I’ll never understand it.’ He sounds angry, and I’m suddenly moving, being turned around to face him. I’m now on my stomach, spread all over him and looking up into green grief. ‘I can’t do this on my own, baby. Help me.’
My instincts kick in and I push myself up his body, settling higher so I can get my face in the crook of his neck. ‘Were you not alike?’ I ask. Twins must surely be alike.
‘We were the furthest away from alike you could get. In looks and personality.’
‘He wasn’t a God?’ I ask quietly, thinking maybe I ‘ve just suggested that his twin brother was ugly. I didn’t mean it like that, but it would be the furthest away from Jesse.
His hands caress my back gently. ‘He was a genius.’
‘How is that far away from you?’ I ask.
‘Jake had his brain to get him by, I had my looks and I used them, as you well know. Jake didn’t use his brain. If he did, he wouldn’t be dead.’
Oh? I take back all previous thoughts because now questions are popping into my mind left, right and centre, and I can’t hold them back. ‘How did he die?’
‘He got hit by a car.’