My phone rings again and I reject the call…again.
Sam steams into the lounge, looking as nervous as he did at The Manor. We both look up at him as he does a little tennis spectator impression, flicking his eyes from me to Kate and back again a few times.
Stalking over to Kate, he all but hauls her out of the lounge by her elbow. ‘We need to talk.’ he says urgently. I crane my neck around, watching as he practically throws her into her bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
I lie on the sofa, my tea resting on my stomach, and close my eyes. They don’t stay shut for long. Mental images of Jesse are imprinted on my brain, and with my eyes closed, there’s no other visual distraction, so they are all the more clearer. I’m never going to be able to sleep again. My phone starts again. Reaching down, I stab the reject button, staring up at the swirly artex ceiling of the lounge.
I’ve never felt pain like this before. It’s excruciating and way beyond fixable. He owns a fucking sex club? Why? Why couldn’t he be a banker or a financial advisor? Or…a hotel owner… I knew there was something wrong, something dangerous. Why didn’t I take a few moments to try and gather my senses? I know exactly why – because I wasn’t allowed to, I wasn’t given a chance to.
I sit up when I hear Kate’s high shrill travel across the landing, followed by Sam’s placating tones trying to calm her down. She flies out of her room with Sam in tow. He’s struggling to pull her back.
‘Get your fucking hands off me, Samuel. She needs to know.’
‘Wait a minute…Kate…arhhhhhh! What the fuck did you do that for?’ Kate retrieves her knee from Sam’s groin, leaving him in a folded, groaning mess on the landing, before barging into the lounge and punching me with her blue stare.
‘What?’ I ask, apprehensively. What do I need to know now?
She throws Sam a filthy look when he appears at the lounge door grasping his groin. I’m left wondering why Sam’s looking so apologetic when it’s Kate that’s just kneed him in the balls. She points at the chair aggressively, silently demanding him to sit. He limps over, lowering himself on a painful hiss.
‘Ava, he’s on his way over.’ she tells me calmly. I don’t know why she chooses this tone. It’s not going to calm me – not at all.
I gasp, looking at Sam sat in the chair, refusing to meet my eyes. He wasn’t going to tell me? I was stupid to think Jesse would make this easy. ‘I need to leave,’ I wail as my damn phone starts again. ‘Fuck off!’ I shout at the stupid thing.
‘Take her.’ Kate swings around to Sam. ‘She’s in no state to drive.’
‘Oh no, not me,’ He holds his hands up, shaking his head. ‘It’s more than my life’s worth. Anyway, I need to talk to you.’ He jerks his head towards Kate.
We all jump at the sound of an almighty crash at the door, my heart promptly leaping into my throat as I look at Kate. Sam groans, and it’s not because of the pain Kate’s inflicted on him.
‘You dirty little turncoat.’ she mutters angrily, piercing Sam with her sharp, blue eyes.
‘Hey, I didn’t say a fucking word!’ He’s on the major defensive. ‘It wouldn’t take a fucking rocket scientist to work out where she is.’
‘Don’t answer it, Kate.’ I plead.
A combination of more bangs play out on the front door. God, I don’t want to see him. My defences are not strong enough right now. I jump at a succession of more bangs, followed by a chorus of car horns that sound off all around.
‘For fucks sake,’ Kate yells, running across the room to look out of the window. ‘Shit.’ She pulls the blind up, getting up close and personal with the glass.
‘What?’ I join her at the window. I know it’s him, but what’s with the racket?
‘Look!’ she yells, pointing down below. I force my eyes to follow her hand and see Jesse’s car abandoned in the middle of the street, his driver’s door wide open and a line of traffic starting to build up behind it. He’s not left enough room for cars to pass, causing tempers to flare and car horns to honk. It’s all clearly audible from up here.
‘Ava!’ I hear him bellow. He proceeds to thump the door a few more times.
‘Oh, fucking hell, Ava,’ Kate carps. ‘That man’s a walking, talking detonate button and you’ve just pressed it!’ She starts stalking out of the lounge.
I rush after her. ‘I pressed nothing, Kate. Don’t answer the door!’ I lean over the banister, watching Kate fly down the stairs to the front door.
‘I can’t just leave him out there causing anarchy on the street.’ She carries on her way.
I panic and run back into the lounge, passing Sam, who’s still sat in the chair rubbing his sore spot, mumbling inaudible words.
‘Why didn’t you tell Kate?’ I ask him sharply on my way back to the window.
‘I’m sorry, Ava.’
‘You need to be apologising to Kate, not me.’ I turn back, finding no trace of the fun loving, cheeky chap that I’ve become so fond of. Instead, there’s a tense, uneasy, timid man.
‘I have apologised. And I couldn’t very well tell her until Jesse told you. You should know, this has been eating away at him since he met you.’
I laugh at Sam’s attempt to defend his friend and look out of the window again. Jesse is still pacing outside, clearly desperate, smashing the buttons of his mobile. I know who he’s calling. And, like I knew it would, my phone starts shouting in my hand. Should I answer it and tell him to go away? I stare down onto the street, panic flooding me when a driver from one of the held up cars gets out. Oh God, don’t challenge him!
Kate walks out, waving her arms at Jesse. He ignores the driver that’s approached, turning to Kate instead. His hand gestures are urgent. What’s he saying? What’s Kate saying? After a few minutes, Jesse gets in his car. Relief washes over my entire being, but he only moves it slightly so it’s parked in a more considerate fashion, allowing the other motorists to pass.
‘Oh God, Kate! What have you done?’ I yell at the window.
‘What’s going on?’ Sam asks from his chair. I don’t answer him.
I stand, unable to move, watching as Jesse leans up against my car, his head dropped in defeat, his arms hanging by his sides. Kate’s arms are wrapped around herself as she stands in front of him. He looks up at her, and even from here I can see the anguish riddling his face. She reaches over to him, rubbing her palm up and down his arm. It’s a gesture of comfort. It’s killing me.
After an eternity of watching them on the street, Kate finally turns, making her way back to the flat, but to my utter horror, Jesse starts to follow, and Kate makes no attempt to stop him.
‘Shit, no!’ I exclaim, throwing my hands to my head in dread. What’s she thinking?
‘What?’ Sam shouts anxiously. ‘Ava, what?’
I quickly consider my options. It doesn’t take long because there are none, except to stand here and await the confrontation. There is only one way in and one way out of this flat. And with Jesse on his way in, any plans to escape the inevitable altercation are totally floored.
Kate walks into the lounge, looking rather sheepish. I’m furious with her, and she knows it. I pin her with my most filthy stare as she smiles at me nervously.
‘Just hear him out, Ava. The man’s a mess.’ She shakes her head sorrowfully, then looks at Sam, her expression changing instantly. ‘You, get in the kitchen!’
Sam scowls. ‘I can’t fucking move, you evil cow!’ He rubs himself again, rolling his head back on the chair. Kate huffs and pulls him out of the chair. He groans, closing his eyes and gingerly limping from the room.
I can’t believe her. The treacherous cow! She backs out of the room, giving me eyes full of sympathy. She wouldn’t have to act so fucking sorry if she hadn’t of let him in – the stupid, stupid woman. I turn to face the window before he walks in. I can’t look at him. I’ll dissolve into tears if I do, and I don’t want him to have any excuse to comfort me or wrap his big warm arms around me. I brace myself for his voice to wash over me, every frazzled nerve ending buzzing and every muscle tense. I hear nothing. But as every hair on the back of my neck tingles, standing upright, I know he’s near. My body’s response to his potent presence has me closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and praying for strength.