Someone Lorenzo hired to kill a man she loved. A combination of guilt and fury began to churn in her gut.
“Did I ever tell you Mano was a diver in the Navy?” she said. “He’s really good. Danny says Mano’s the best diver he’s ever worked with, and Danny was a Master Diver before he retired.”
“Beatrice-”
“Two and a half years we’ve been together,” she whispered, “and he’s never had an accident. I used to worry so much about him, especially at night, I worried…but nothing ever happened. Everything was fine. Mano was always so careful.”
I did this, her mind kept repeating. This is my fault. She suddenly had more sympathy for her missing father and the complicated mess he’d inadvertently drawn her into years before.
Giovanni started to say something but paused and reached over to squeeze her limp hand. “I’ll find out who it was.”
“Who controls L.A.?” she asked in a whisper.
She could see his face harden in the passing streetlights.
“Are you sure you want to know? Sure you want back into this world? Into my world?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes,” he hissed. “You have a choice! That’s what all of this was about, giving you a choice.”
Beatrice shrugged, fighting back the tears in her eyes. She didn’t feel like there was a choice. She felt like she’d been hiding her head in the sand and others would be the ones to pay the price. She didn’t know what to do, and all she could think about was seeing Mano.
She forced Giovanni to go home to Ben after he dropped her off at the emergency room. Beatrice walked in and found Danny in the lobby, waiting to take her upstairs.
When she walked in, Mano was sleeping, and the quiet words of his doctor assured her that a week of rest and a break from diving were the only things needed for him to make a full recovery. Danny finally left them, and she curled up in the bed, squeezing herself into his side and laying her head on his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.
Beatrice spent hours watching Mano sleep, seeing his steady chest rise and fall and listening to the faint murmurs as he dreamed. He had always looked so peaceful when he slept, his huge body relaxed and still in marked contrast to his waking vitality.
She called in to work and took some of her vacation time to be with him, though she knew he didn’t really need her there the whole time.
“Hey, Mano, what do you want for lunch?”
“How about a break from hovering?”
She snickered and looked over at him. “I’m serious. There’s some soup left, or I could make you a-”
“I’m serious, too.” He gave her a slight frown. “Why are you being like this? You’re not a hoverer.”
“You…scared me.” She frowned. “That’s all. You’ve never had an accident and-”
“Accidents happen, baby. It was a weird one, but…”
“What?”
He tried to smile but could only shrug. “You don’t seem like yourself lately.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m fine. You’re the one who needs-”
“What’s going on?”
Beatrice walked over and straddled his lap, pulling his arms around her. She put her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat as his strong arms held her. What could she say?
You know my friends Carwyn and Gio? They’re vampires who drink blood and manipulate elements. Oh, and your accident was probably caused by a bad vampire who once kidnapped me because he’s trying to get to my father…who’s a vampire, too. But don’t worry, the good vampires rescued me. Then I stole a whole bunch of money from the bad guy, which is why he’s now trying to kill you.
And Gio says he’s in love with me.
“Nothing’s going on. I told you, you just gave me a scare. It’s fine. We’re fine. Nothing is going on.”
She sat up and saw a bitter smile curling his lips. “You’re a bad liar, you know that?”
Beatrice wanted to protest, to defend herself, but she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t be another lie, so she simply leaned forward, holding him closer and listening to the steady beat of his heart. Mano gently stroked her dark hair, and she felt his chest rise as he sighed.
“Lately, baby, I feel like being with you is like watching the tide go out.”
“What?” She cleared her throat. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t notice the ebb at first, you’re still listening to those waves go back and forth. They keep coming in, but…never quite as high as the last one.”
“Mano-”
“And you know there’s nothing you can do.” He kept running his hands through her hair in long, soothing strokes. “You could try to hold on, to chase the waves, but the water’s still going to slip away.”
Beatrice bit her lip and felt tears slip come to her eyes as a portion of her heart began to crumble. “I don’t…I don’t-”
“I’d say it was this guy, but I think the tide started going out months ago. Otherwise, we’d be living together now, you know?” She heard him choke a little. “And I wouldn’t be worried about your answer when I asked you to marry me.”
She shook her head, still wishing she could deny the words coming out of his mouth as she turned her face and stained his shirt with her tears. Mano placed a warm hand on her cheek.
“I feel like you’re on this wave, baby. And you’re slipping away from me a little more every day. Slipping away somewhere you don’t want me to go. Someplace I just-I can’t quite see.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I want to catch you, but I don’t think you want to be caught.”
Beatrice cried, and her mind screamed, ‘No,’ but she couldn’t form the words.
“And I’ve been chasing the waves, thinking if I could just catch you, I could hold you back, and maybe you’d finally love me the way I love you.”
She curled her fingers in his shirt. “I do love you, Mano,” she whispered, wishing desperately that it was enough.
“But not-not the way you love him.” He cleared his throat. “I wish it wasn’t the truth, but it is.”
He tilted her chin up and wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt, but Beatrice couldn’t stop crying.
“Mano,” she choked out, reaching up to touch his face with shaking hands. He stared at her with sad eyes.
“There’s this huge thing you two hold between each other. I don’t think you even realize how much I can see it. It’s like all the dark places in you, the ones you never let me into, are open to him. And I’d chase away the dark for you-I’ve been trying for years-but I don’t think you really want me to.”
He cupped her cheeks with his warm, callused hands and pulled her tear stained face to his so he could lay a soft kiss on her mouth.
“I love you so much,” Beatrice said as her tears rolled into his hands.
“But it’s not enough, is it?”
She met his dark eyes and whispered in surrender, “No.”
His face fell in pain, and his grip tightened on her jaw for only a second before his hands went lax and his arms fell to the side.
“You need to go now, B.”
She choked on her tears but managed to nod as she climbed off his lap. Beatrice silently gathered the few things she kept at Mano’s apartment and walked back to him. She leaned down to kiss his cheek but he turned away from her.
“Please, don’t.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.”
She was shaking by the time she made it to the door, and she heard his low voice for the last time. “Don’t disappear completely. I want to know you’re okay.”
“Bye, Mano,” Beatrice whispered before she opened the door, stumbling down the stairs as the tears ran down her face and the sun blinded her. She walked to the shade of the small carport and pulled out her phone to dial with trembling hands.