I hear what you’re saying. You tell me I’m a prophet. You tell me I’m a saint. Some of you even tell me I’m the Son of God come again. You tell me I made the sun stand still over Jerusalem. Well, no, I didn’t do that, the Lord Almighty did that, the Lord of Hosts. Through His divine Will, in response to your prayers. And I’m only the vehicle through which your prayers were channeled. I’m not any kind of saint, folks. I’m not the Son of God reborn, or any of the other crazy things you’ve been saying I am. I’m only Thomas.
Who am I?
I’m just a voice. A spokesman. A tool through which His will was made manifest. I’m not giving you the old humility act, friends, I’m trying to make you see the truth about me.
Who am I?
I’ll tell you who I was, though you know it already. I was a bandit, I was a man of evil, I was a defiler of the law. A killer, a liar, a drunkard, a cheat! I did what I damned pleased. I was a law unto myself. If I ever got caught, you bet I wouldn’t have whined for mercy. I’d have spit in the judge’s face and taken my punishment with my eyes open. Only I never got caught, because my luck was running good and because this is a time when a really bad man can flourish, when the wicked are raised high and the virtuous are ground into the mud. Outside the law, that was me! Thomas the criminal! Thomas the brigand, thumbing his nose! Doing bad was my religion, all the time—when I was down there in Brazil with those flamethrowers, or when I was free-lancing your pockets in our cities, or when I was ringing up funny numbers on the big computers. I belonged to Satan if ever a man did, that’s the truth, and then what happened? The Lord came along to Satan and said to him, Satan, give me Thomas, I have need of him. And Satan handed me over to Him, because Satan is God’s servant too.
And the Lord took me and shook me and knocked me around and said, Thomas, you’re nothing but trash!
And I said, I know that, Lord, but who was it who made me that way?
And the Lord laughed and said, You’ve got guts, Thomas, talking back to me like that. I like a man with guts. But you’re wrong, fellow. I made you with the potential to be a saint or a sinner, and you chose to be a sinner, yes, of your own free will! You think I’d bother to create people to be wicked? I’m not interested in creating puppets, Thomas, I set out to make me a race of human beings. I gave you your options and you opted for evil, eh, Thomas? Isn’t that the truth?
And I said, Well, Lord, maybe it is; I don’t know.
And the Lord God grew annoyed with me and took me again and shook me again and knocked me around some more, and when I picked myself up I had a puffed lip and a bloody nose, and He asked me how I would do things if I could live my life over again from the start. And I looked Him right in the eye and said, Well, Lord, I’d say that being evil paid off pretty well for me. I lived a right nice life and I had all my happies and I never spent a day behind bars, oh, no. So tell me, Lord, since I got away with everything the first time, why shouldn’t I opt to be a sinner again?
And he said, Because you’ve done that already, and now it’s time for you to do something else.
I said, What’s that, Lord?
He said, I want you to do something important for me, Thomas. There’s a world out there full of people who’ve lost all faith, people without hope, people who’ve made up their minds it’s no use trying any more, the world’s going to end. I want to reach those people somehow, Thomas, and tell them that they’re wrong, And show them that they can shape their own destiny, that if they have faith in themselves and in me they can build a good world.
I said, That’s easy, Lord. Why don’t You just appear in the sky and say that to them, like You just did to me?
He laughed again and said, Oh, no, Thomas, that’s much too easy. I told you, I don’t run a puppet show. They’ve got to want to lift themselves up out of despair. They’ve got to take the first step by themselves. You follow me, Thomas?
Yes, Lord, but where do I come in?
And He said, You go to them, Thomas, and you tell them all about your wasted, useless, defiant life, and then tell them how the Lord gave you a chance to do something worthwhile for a change, and how you rose up above your evil self and accepted the opportunity. And then tell them to gather and pray and restore their faith, and ask for a Sign from on high. Thomas, if they listen to you, if they pray and it’s sincere prayer, I promise you I will give them a Sign, I will reveal myself to them, and all doubt will drop like scales from their eyes. Will you do that thing for me, Thomas?
Friends, I listened to the Lord, and. I discovered myself shaking and quivering and bursting into sweat, and in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, I wasn’t the old filthy Thomas any more, I was somebody new and clean, I was a man with a high purpose, a man with a belief in something bigger and better than his own greedy desires. And I went down among you, changed as I was, and I told my tale, and all of you know the rest of the story, how we came freely together and offered up our hearts to Him, and how He vouchsafed us a miracle these two and a half weeks past, and gave us a Sign that He still watches over us.
But what do I see now, in these latter days after the giving of the Sign? What do I see?
Where is that new world of faith? Where is that new dream of hope? Where is mankind shoulder to shoulder, praising Him and working together to reach the light?
What do I see? I see this rotting planet turning black inside and splitting open at the core. I see the cancer of doubt. I see the virus of confusion. I see His Sign misinterpreted on every hand, and its beauty trampled on and destroyed.
I still see painted fools dancing and beating on drums and screaming that the world is going to be destroyed at the end of this year of nineteen hundred and ninety-nine. What madness is this? Has God not spoken? Has He not told us joyful news? God is with us! God is good! Why do these Apocalyptists not yet accept the truth of His Sign?
Even worse! Each day new madnesses take form! What are these cults sprouting up among us? Who are these people who demand of God that He return and spell out His intentions, as though the Sign wasn’t enough for them? And who are these cowardly blasphemers who say we must lie down in fear and weep piteous tears, because we have invoked not God but Satan, and destruction is our lot? Who are these men of empty souls who bleat and mumble and snivel in our midst? And look at your lofty churchmen, in their priestly robes and glittering tiaras, trying to explain away the Sign as some accident of nature! What talk is this from God’s own ministers? And behold the formerly godless ones, screeching like frightened monkeys now that their godlessness has been ripped from them! What do I see? I see madness and terror on all sides, where I should see only joy abounding!
I beg you, friends, have care, take counsel with your souls. I beg you, think clearly now if you ever have thought at all. Choose a wise path, friends, or you will throw away all the glory of the Day of the Sign and lay waste to our great achievement. Give no comfort to the forces of darkness. Keep away from these peddlers of lunatic creeds. Strive to recapture the wonder of that moment when all mankind spoke with a single voice. I beg you—how can you have doubt of Him now?—I beg you—faith—the triumph of faith—let us not allow—let us—not allow—not—allow—
(Jesus, my throat! All this shouting, it’s like swallowing fire. Give me that bottle, will you? Come on, give it here! The wine. The wine. Now. Ah. Oh, that’s better! Much better, oh, yes. No, wait, give it back—good, good—stop looking at me like that, Saul. Ah. Ah.)
And so I beseech you today, brothers and sisters in the Lord—brothers and sisters (what was I saying, Saul? what did I start to say?)—I call upon you to rededicate yourselves—to pledge yourselves to—to (is that it? I can’t remember)—to a new Crusade of Faith, that’s what we need, a purging of all our doubts and all our hesitations and all our (oh, Jesus, Saul, I’m lost, I don’t remember where the hell I’m supposed to be. Let the music start playing. Quick. That’s it. Good and louder. Louder.) Folks, let’s all sing! Raise your voices joyously unto Him!