“Wait…” I murmured, lost as his mouth bit against my skin. “No, we can’t…I can’t…”
“You can,” he breathed in my ear. “Let me…let me do it. Let me bury myself in you. Let me spread your legs and take you like I did before. We are gods in this world, Eugenie, with no other lovers who are our equals. No others who are worthy of this joining.” The thong was on the ground now, and I could feel his erection pressed against my skin, so, so close to sliding in and doing all the things he promised. He rested his hands under my thighs and hoisted me up against the wall so that my legs wrapped around his hips.
“Dorian…” I gasped. “I’m with Kiyo….”
“So? You’re a queen. Do you think you can’t have as many lovers as you like?”
“It’s…it’s wrong. We can’t…”
“We can,” he said, voice low and full of promise. “And when we do, this land will be reborn….”
Afterward, I would never be entirely sure if I would have let him do it. I like to think I would have stopped him. I was in love with Kiyo, after all, and loyal to him. Surely I would have said no and shoved Dorian aside. I wasn’t in love with him…or was I? In those moments before we’d kissed, I’d felt like he truly got me and understood the things in my head. I think I’d probably loved him since around the time we’d met; I certainly never lost the attraction. Still, that didn’t make cheating on Kiyo right.
Whatever decision I would have made was taken from me when there was a knock at the door.
I jerked away from Dorian and hastily shoved my skirt down. He more casually turned away to pull his pants back up, seeming in no particular hurry. The door opened, and the lead councilwoman stuck her head in. Even with Dorian’s back to her and me dressed, it had to have been obvious what was going on-particularly with my underwear on the floor. If she found it shocking, though, she didn’t show it, and I recalled how free the gentry were in public.
“Your majesties,” she said politely, “there’s a storm coming in, and the workers were wondering what the Oak King wanted to do.”
Dorian, decent once more, turned around and gave her a laconic, charming smile. “A storm? Really? How truly unexpected. Well, tell them to bring as much of the ore as they can into storage before the rain and cover the rest up. I’ll come check on it in a moment since I have a feeling the Thorn Queen is about to depart with some haste.”
The woman gave a quick curtsey and shut the door once more. “You’re right,” I said, jerking my thong back on. “I’m leaving.”
“Yes,” he agreed, still smiling. “Because that’s your normal course of action when something happens that you don’t know how to process.”
“That’s the thing,” I growled. “Nothing happened here, okay? None of this did.”
His eyebrows rose. “Really? Because I could have sworn that something happened when my hand was between your-”
“No!” I would have approached him with clenched fists to drive home my threat but was afraid of what would happen if I was close to him again. “This didn’t happen. This was anger and confusion and me in a weak place, okay? I appreciate what you’ve done here with the copper-really. And for the advice on the girls. But that’s it.”
I turned, not wanting to look into those green eyes or see that smirk anymore. I didn’t want to admit that loving two men was just like the rest of my life, ripped into two worlds. I needed to get out of here and get back home-though I wasn’t sure which home I meant. Dorian didn’t try to stop me, but his voice rang out after me as I hurried out and rain began to fall outside.
“Don’t forget what I said, Eugenie. Crown or not, you are a queen, so don’t be afraid to do what you have to do. Love and ruthlessness. Those are the keys.”
Chapter Nineteen
I returned to my castle in shock-and in a downpour. My control of water let me shift the rain away from me, but after a while, I didn’t feel like wasting the mental effort on it. It felt kind of good after such a hot day, and besides, I had a few other things on my mind. Like if it was going to rain every time I got aroused. That was not cool. I guessed I could handle it so long as it rained other times as well. I didn’t want the connection to be so obvious. Hey, it’s raining! The queen must have gotten laid. Ooh…is that hail? Must have been into some kinky shit today….
I was also debating whether or not having a guy stick his hand up your skirt and get you off was technically cheating or not.
Okay, I supposed there wasn’t much “technically” about it. I was getting caught up in gender stereotypes. If I’d gotten him off-say, like, by going down on him-there would have been no question of infidelity. So, this was no different. Fuck. How had it happened? One minute we’d been arguing…the next? Grope central. There’d been emotion and magic, and it had all happened so fast. I shivered, thinking of all the warnings about using strong magic. Was that to blame? Or just my own weakness? And at the same time, I couldn’t also help but think that strong magic could solve a few of my problems.
Excepting, of course, the problem of whether or not I should tell Kiyo what had happened between Dorian and me…
“Your majesty!”
Nia went crazy when she saw my drenched state. She had a hundred remedies for me, but all I wanted was a simple towel and the jeans and shirt I’d arrived in earlier. Waiting for the servants to draw hot baths around here took too much time and effort; I could get back to Tucson and into my own shower or sauna much more easily. And after still being unnerved by Dorian, I was particularly anxious to return to what I saw as safety. Though lately, I was starting to think no place was safe anymore.
Before leaving, I exchanged brief updates with Rurik and Shaya. I told Rurik that we had a date for demon hunting, and that Jasmine would indeed be going with us. His feelings on that were mixed. He knew her power was useful, but secretly-or, well, not so secretly-he was part of the camp that felt I should kill her. He seemed a little reassured about her, at least, because Girard had brought the custom cuffs as promised. They provided greater mobility for her but were even more limiting for magic. Judging from Jasmine’s dismayed reaction, Rurik felt they’d been successful.
Well, that was something, I supposed. And from the look on Shaya’s face, Dorian’s help with the ore was a good thing too-even if it had come with strings attached.
“That was very kind of my lord,” she said. Both Shaya and Rurik often used the honorific “my lord” when discussing Dorian, as though he were still their master. I considered their old loyalty endearing but wondered if they’d ever feel like they truly worked for me. “It’s expedited things immensely. You can’t imagine how quickly things will move once the ore is processed.” She grinned, eyes gleaming as all sorts of plans and organizational thoughts swirled in her mind. “You must have been very pleased at what my lord did for you.”
Well, “pleased” was one way of looking at it, I supposed.
Oh, and I was happy about the expedited ore too.
A strange feeling settled over me, that same one I got each time Dorian did something nice for me-sexual gratification aside. I had no idea what his role in my life was anymore, save that he was helping me a lot. Judging from Shaya’s face, this was a big favor he’d done for me. An idea for repayment came to me.
“Shaya…is Girard still here?”
She nodded. “I gave him a room for the night, so that he wouldn’t have to travel in the rain. Is that all right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I just want to talk to him for a sec.”
She led me to his room, and like before, he was overjoyed and overeager to see me. Seeing him reminded me of Leith, which gave me a small pang of regret. I still felt badly about what had happened with the Rowan prince, but there was nothing to be done about it. I couldn’t return his feelings. Girard, fortunately, was a different matter. He wanted prestige and position for his talents, and I was more than willing to give that after explaining to him the project I wanted to commission.