“Yeah, she told me. You know, I feel kind of bad for her.”
“Stop,” he ordered. “She’s none of your concern. She should have had no expectations about her relationship with me.”
“Yeah, well, she kind of did.”
“Again, one angry person is none of your concern-not with everything else going on.”
I grimaced. “I suppose not, though it sure seems like a lot of people are angry at me-oh. God. I nearly forgot. Do you have Volusian?”
Dorian was setting his sword and cloak down. He didn’t look happy at the reference. “Yes…I enslaved him to me.”
“Can I…can I have him back?”
He eyed me. “Are you sure that’s what you want? It’d be better if we banished him together.”
I hesitated, recalling Volusian’s hands on my throat and knowing what would happen if I ever lost control again. I wouldn’t, though. I would stay strong, and I needed him for what was to come. “Yes,” I said firmly. “I want him back.”
Dorian shrugged. “Then I’ll summon him later. Let’s not ruin the moment just yet. He’s quite depressing, you know.” Dorian strolled toward the window and bent over, picking up the dress I’d dropped. “This is lovely.”
“I was going to put it on, but…but…” I swallowed and nodded toward the window. “There’s a, um, army out there.”
He neatly laid the dress on the chair and glanced out the window. “Yes. Yes, there is. Yours and mine. Well, part of them.”
“I can’t believe this happened.”
“Hiding from them won’t make them go away.”
“I kind of hoped it would.”
He said nothing but gave me an expectant look. Something about it drew me out, and steeling myself up, I approached the window again, staring out at the wide, sandy stretch in the back of the castle.
There were so many more than I’d expected-and this was only allegedly a portion of the soldiers that would be fighting Katrice. My small army in their mismatched attire stood in formation on one side. Dorian’s “reserves” stood beside them, much more sharply dressed in deep green shirts under their leather armor and golden oak emblems. So many…and again, still not the whole force. More of his soldiers would join up, and then my numbers would grow when the call went out throughout the land when I went to Highmore-if I went there.
“All of this,” I murmured, “all of this because of a chain of decisions. Me refusing Leith, him kidnapping me, you…” I couldn’t finish the words, but Dorian and I both knew what I’d been about to say.
“Do you regret it?” he asked. “What I did?” He sounded as cool and confident as ever, but I could have sworn there was a tiny note of fear in his voice-fear that he’d done something I hadn’t wanted.
Kiyo’s words about how I would regret all this came back to me, and I kept wondering if it was really worth it, all these men and women who might die…for what? For my honor? My revenge? I could still respond to Katrice’s message, tell her I’d marry her nephew and make peace….
A knot formed in my stomach, and I knew that wasn’t an option. I could never be with anyone in that family, not without thinking of Leith, of his hands and his body. I could never let her or anyone else think I or my people could be pushed around. After all, Leith hadn’t just taken advantage of me. Those girls had suffered too. I was the protector of my people. I was the Thorn Queen and the Thorn Land both.
An image of Dorian running his sword through Leith returned to my mind. Probably I should have found it gruesome. Instead, it brought me…peace.
“No.” I turned and looked straight into Dorian’s eyes. “I don’t regret it. I…I’m glad you did it.” My voice wavered a little. “I’m so glad you did it.”
His face transformed somewhat, filled with a type of wonder. I think he’d grown so accustomed to my usual style, my human way of being rational and merciful…Well, I think he’d been long bracing himself for my wrath. My earlier suspicion about the worry in his voice had been correct. He’d probably expected a reaction similar to when he’d given me the Thorn Land.
The look on his face made me flustered and confused. I turned back to the window and admitted, “But I…I’m scared. I don’t want to wage a war. I certainly don’t know how to.”
Dorian came to stand beside me, still careful to maintain a buffer between us. “It’s in your blood,” he said. “Storm King was the greatest tactician in centuries.”
“I’m not him. I don’t want to be like him.” A nasty voice spoke in my head: But you called yourself Storm Queen, according to Kiyo.
“You can inherit his genius without his cruelty,” said Dorian.
“I suppose, but still…I still don’t know what to do. Will you help me?”
We turned to look at each other, and again, his face seemed to be lit from within. “Of course. You’re not the only one Katrice is after. I’m the one who killed the poor bastard, remember?” The light faded from his face a bit at the reference to Leith. He leaned toward me, eyes intense. “I’d do it a thousand times over, if I could. War or not.”
That earnestness in voice, that fierceness-it sent a shiver down my spine. “You only say that because we haven’t gone to war yet. You don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“Ah, Eugenie. I know. We will be victorious, you and me. We’re the strongest monarchs in this world. Katrice knows this but is blinded by her grief and rage. You and I will lead this army, and we will conquer the Rowan Land. We’ll split it between us, adding on to our own kingdoms…and from there, we can go anywhere. We could rule half this world together-all of this world-you and me. Kingdom after kingdom would fall to us…”
I stared him, almost caught up in his vision. The apprehension I’d been holding began to lift as I imagined us destroying her forces and me summoning up storms that made the world tremble. I laughed uneasily, alarmed at the way my thoughts had gone. “One kingdom’s enough,” I said, the human part of me bringing me back to earth.
“You say that now, but I tell you, it’s in your blood.” He looked down at me intently, and those rapture-filled eyes seemed to be every shade of green and gold in the world. I fell into them. I felt beautiful in them. Like a goddess. “Eugenie, you’re going to be a warrior queen the likes of which no one has ever seen. Your name will live on when Storm King’s has faded to dust. You will lead your armies on-powerful, fearless, and beautiful. Katrice’s ‘war’ is but a skirmish you’ll stamp out underneath your boot.”
I had a disorienting moment then, recalling a vision I’d had in the Underworld. My soul had been seeking Kiyo’s, but it was Dorian I’d seen in a dream-like state, with the two of us standing on a cliff before armies, both of us radiant and majestic. There’d been a baby in my arms and a crown on my head.
I’d never told anyone about that. It had been a test, not a vision of the future. Trying to keep things light with Dorian, I asked, “And where will you be in all of this? Somehow I don’t think you’ll be lurking in the shadows.”
“My sweet Eugenie,” he said, back to his flippant, gallant self, “there you go, always suspecting ulterior motives.” He straightened up, affecting a dignified air. “I, of course, shall be by your side.”
I laughed. Dorian would always be Dorian. “Sharing in that glory and power, no doubt.”
“A little, certainly.” His mirth vanished, and he grew serious once more. “But also there to keep you safe. Whatever battles you engage in, whether you choose to conquer this world or simply go back to exorcising ghosts…what happened with Leith will never, never happen again. Not while I live. I swear it. I will always keep you safe.” He moved forward but was still careful not to touch me. The vehemence in his voice was so strong, however, that it was practically tangible. “Always.”
My smile was gone. I studied him for a long time and realized I believed him. Kiyo had failed me. Dorian would not.
And I realized then that I’d been an idiot to keep trying to push Dorian away. Did I entirely trust his motives? No. I did trust him to protect me, though. I’d realized just before my capture that I loved both him and Kiyo, loved them just as my blood and soul were also split in two. The two halves of my nature would always war with each other. And right now, I didn’t need the cautious human half that would rationally seek peace. I needed the part of me that wasn’t afraid to unleash all the power I had, to charge forward with no restraints. I needed Dorian right now. It was his love that was going to allow me to be strong and unafraid of what was to come.