It was a little cold, Bo's hidden meaning. A little harsh. But it was honest. Reese was gone, respects had been paid and all the standing around, all the crying in the world wasn't going to bring her back. She wasn't the first MTac to go down. Wouldn't be the last.
Soledad did a quick scan of the other cops. She wondered which of them would be next. No doubt they were thinking the same thing.
Good-byes got swapped. Bo, Yarborough, Whitaker: they drifted off for their cars. Before Soledad knew it, could do much about it, it was just her and Vin.
Vin looked at Soledad. Held his look.
"You want something?"
Vin shrugged."You okay?"
Soledad took a casual, spiteful glance around the cemetery."Yeah. Great. You know a better place to spend your days?"
She started to walk.
Vin paced her."You hungry?"
"No."
"Want something to drink?"
"Kind of early for that."
"Doesn't have to be liquor. Just something in a couple of glasses we can sit and talk over."
Soledad stopped walking. She got with a look of hot disbelief."You trying to pick me up?"
Vin said nothing to that.
"You trying to pick me up at a funeral?"
"I'm trying to talk to you."
"Sure, and maybe I'll be so overcome with grief you can talk your way into my pants. There, there, Soledad. It's all right, Soledad. Have you seen my bedroom, Soledad?"
Vin stood looking bored and unaffected by Soledad's little run.
He asked: "You done? Are you done cracking wise so maybe we can converse like two people?"
Except that she didn't walk away, Soledad was nonresponsive.
"All I'm saying is," Vin said, explaining himself,"I want to talk to you. I want to get to know you. I want—"
"You want a date."
Vin stuttered, hesitated, tried to think his way around coming out and saying it, but yeah: "I want a date."
"Sorry. I got a man."
That was a surprise, not so much for Vin as it was for Soledad. She was attracted to… okay, she liked Ian. He passed for a friend. But in Soledad's world that didn't take much.
They'd gotten around to having sex.
But so do drunk salesmen and lonely housewives who meet at the bar/lounge in the airport Ramada.
And being honest, Soledad would say the sex, though good, was perfunctory. Spectacular only in that Ian wasn't revulsed by, nor did he ask about, Soledad's scars. So she hadn't hardly considered, had never said Ian was her man, and the moment she'd said as much she wondered if she meant it or if she was just using the concept as defense against Vin.
Vin took the information quite passively."A man?" he repeated."When I asked around, people seemed to figure you for being unattached."
"Asked around…" Soledad, now, did the repeating. She would have expected herself to be annoyed or pissed at the idea someone was" asking around" about her, digging into her private life. But she found herself to be unexpectedly intrigued by the concept of a guy inquiring after her."Who'd you ask?"
A shrug."People."
Soledad worked hard as she could to sound casual, but came off as nothing but curious."… What did they say?"
"They said be sure not to call you Bullet to your face."
Soledad's teeth did some grinding.
Vin did a little smiling."Lot of talk about what's going on with you and IA. That's just talk, so I didn't bother with it. Most said you were a loner, even as cops go. Keep to yourself, don't converse much. So with all that, I didn't figure you were seeing anyone."
"You figured wrong."
"Well, good luck with it." A pause."Long as it lasts."
From the end of a little jaw-dropping scoff: "That supposed to mean something?"
"It means people like us—"
"Like us?"
"Cops. We don't do well in relationships, especially with civilians."
"Maybe not people like you."
Vin shook his head to indicate Soledad's wrongness."People like us. C'mon, Soledad. See the things we do, live the way we do, then think we might not be living at all tomorrow. We don't hardly get attached to people. You know that goes double for MTacs. Hard to make commitments when you got to go out and bust guys who can throw buses at you. Look at Reese. You'd been on her element how long? How much did you know about her, her family? Nothing. And she was one of us. With civvies the level of noncommunication just gets multiplied. We need to be alone with our demons."
Soledad started to say something.
Vin cut her off with: "Okay. You're the only cop who doesn't have demons. I'm just talking about the rest of us crazies who feel the need to try and arrest gods for a living."
Vin took a beat.
Then: "You're not the only loner in the department. You've just got it worse than most."
"Yeah, well, maybe." Soledad talked fast like what Vin was saying didn't deserve much consideration."But me and my guy—"
"He got a name?"
"Yeah, he does. And me and my guy get along good."
Vin smiled at the lie."Sure. How well did he take you being MTac? I'm sure he was real happy to find out there's a thirty-seventy chance his girl's going to make it home at night."
Soledad didn't say anything, and what she didn't say spoke volumes for Vin.
"You didn't tell him? Did you even tell him you were a cop?"
Soledad looked off somewhere.
Vin got with a laugh."Oh, that's good. Good luck with this one."
"You know, if you're trying to win me over, your rap is way off."
"Wasn't trying to win you over. When I do try," typically cop cocky,"believe me, you're not so icy I couldn't crack you."
"Then do it."
"… What…?"
"You're such a hotshot, you've got thirty seconds: crack my ice or leave me the fuck alone."
Not cocky, flustered."Well, I didn't mean I was going to—"
"You want me to count your time down for you?"
Vin took a second, took a couple.
Soledad smiled, was sorry she'd only given Vin thirty seconds. She liked watching him twist.
Vin said: "Most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen was the most destructive thing: Mt. Kilauea erupting in Hawaii. You see it at night, you see the red and orange glow of it, you see the warm light of the lava flowing from it, and it looks magnificent. It looks like a… like a living paint running over a canvas. But at the same time it's like a slow-moving death that's just creeping to kill whatever it can find. To burn and burn until it's the only thing left. Nothing can stop it, nothing can stand in its way. That's what's frightening: It's not just a destructive force, it's a destructive force you can't do anything about. But then you think, well, this is nature or God or whatever doing its thing, and that's the point: We can't stop it. We're not supposed to stop it. It's building life from a fire from the heart of the earth. It's like it's all there just to show us how insignificant we are. So don't judge it, don't try to fight it. Just stand back and watch the beauty of it."
And for a moment after Vin stopped talking Soledad was quiet.
When she finally said something, it was just: "See you later."
She started away.
Vin called to her."You don't like me much."
Turning back to him just some: "Don't flatter yourself. I don't like you at all."
"Because I'm replacing Reese?"
Soledad did the laughing now."Told you before, you're not replacing her. Dead, and you're still not half the BAMF she was."
Vin nodded to that, not really agreeing, but not trying to make an argument of things."Never meant to replace her. This is where I got put. Just filling a slot. Could've been any cop who got the call."
"It wasn't any cop. It was you. You got the slot, and you get everything that comes with it. Everything."
"And you know something," his smile creeping back,"I'll take it. See ya, Bullet."