One morning the ice climbed the post and moisture seeped in and froze the periodicals completely. David braced himself on the mailbox and reached his ungloved hand inside, coming out with fistfuls of torn bills and circulars that fluttered to the ground as he went back for more. He pulled the majority of it out in one handful, bundled the seeping pile in his arms, and reached down to clean the pieces off the ground. He kicked a stone aside to uncover something that had been wedged underneath. It was a scrap of paper concealed within a Christmas-themed baggie, the type one might use to distribute cookies to neighbors. David wiped the condensation from the baggie onto his jacket and read the page inside:
MY TRUTH WILL BRING ATOMIC SNOW UPON YOUR SWEET-SMELLING LAMBS AND CHILDREN.
Pocketing the threat, he looked up and down the street. He considered the mail carrier, a man named Edward who wore a safari hat year-round and waved when he saw David standing at the window. David considered the concept of irradiated snowfall and whether it might glow in certain light or darkness. He created an image of what a child might look like if it were also a lamb. The image was of the girls from the salon as lambs with the faces of children, stepping gingerly through his home. One of them pressed her wet nose forward to smell objects while another shit on the rug, then looked at David and spoke words so softly that he was forced to lean close to hear before realizing that the language was not a recognizable dialect of English, if it was in fact English. The words spoken by the child-lamb sounded more like the noise a baby might make to himself while discovering a box of wooden toys crafted to fit into one another, the baby realizing in his discovery that things beyond his control had been created for his amusement, that there was in fact a world beyond the walls of his home, and if the world had created such an object as a wooden star that would fit into a star shape on a board, what other wonders might it hold? In this way, the child is tricked.
David was standing at the end of his driveway. It wasn’t snowing, and people walking their pets mistook him for a man wearing a robe by the mailbox. He tucked the bundle of old mail under his arm and was walking alongside the people and their pets before he considered any of it further.
The lack of traction with the road, the way the terrain communicated through the soles, reminded him that he was wearing slippers. He tensed his body, wincing. The slush seeped in. Death made more sense in the winter, in the same way that doing the dishes made more sense in the evening, after a big meal. There was glut in death. David remembered a certain sagging and expanding, a feeling to which he could not assign an image. He created a list of items to help him forget the cold as he walked down the hill.
There was a bus stop at the base of the hill, one he had missed on his previous walks to town. He could imagine Franny riding the bus, a sack of salon tools in her lap underneath a magazine about celebrity home improvement. He imagined her exploring her own perfect tombstone teeth with her pink tongue.
He had no money for the bus. The bus stopped and released a black kid in a puffy jacket and a man with a blanket draped around his body. The two sat together on the bench, ignoring David and each other, waiting for the transfer. The bus driver regarded David’s robe and empty hands for a polite moment before snapping the door shut and driving on.
David shifted his bundle of mail from one arm to the other. A thin page advertising pizza fell to the ground, resting wet and looking like a stain or a sore on the sidewalk. “Sorry,” David said, stooping to pick up the page. “Does one of you have change? I’ve lost mine.”
The man in the blanket shrugged. He and David regarded the teenager in the jacket, who was at that moment bobbing his head at a tinny noise emanating from the buds in his ears.
“Kids don’t know,” said the other man. His blanket was secured with a length of rope. “Kids don’t respect.” He leaned over on the bench and jabbed his finger into the kid’s jacket.
“The fuck, man?” the kid said, scowling as a reflex, tucking his thumb under one earbud and popping it out.
David extended his hand. “Do you have a couple quarters for the bus?”
The two ignored him.
“The fuck you say,” said the guy in the blanket. He jerked his head down and back as if he was trying to physically navigate the words. “The fuck, you say.”
“Sorry,” David said to the kid. “I didn’t have any quarters.”
The kid retained the scowl and dug in his pocket for the dollar and twenty-five cents. “Here, man,” he said, leaning to deposit the money into David’s hand. David found a forty-cent coupon for laundry detergent in his bundle of mail. He extracted the page and offered it to the kid, who held up one hand to block the transaction.
“The fuck you say,” said the other man, grasping a piece of his blanket and tugging it tighter over his legs. David thought about how nice it would feel to be draped in a blanket at that moment. It had begun to snow. The blanket man was looking right at the kid, who had replaced his earbuds and was bobbing again, pressing the miniature keys of a phone he had produced from his pocket.
“Kids ignore you these days,” said the man. “Ten years ago this kid and I would have had a nice call-and-response, a pleasant altercation. We would have talked, you know? Like human beings need to talk? To be all right? Now kids ignore you. Back then more people were familiar with the concept of jazz.” He tightened his cord and leaned back into his side of the bench. It looked like he went to sleep immediately, but then he opened one eye and directed it toward David. “You familiar with the concept of jazz?”
“They’ve got all this gear now,” David said. He had never purchased a cellular phone. The weighty molded plastic of the real telephone cupped too nicely in his hand to give it up. Against his ear it felt like an actual method of communication. He had used Franny’s cell phone once, and it felt as if he was speaking into a potato chip. He didn’t want the daily experience. It was hard enough adjusting to the digital answering machine Franny had set up on the landline.
The blanket man closed his eye. “I don’t like the color of his jeans or the content of his character,” he said. “I know this is sounding real ‘kids these days,’ but man, kids these days, you know? These guys don’t even talk to their girlfriends anymore. They’ll sit and send them text messages all damn day, but the instant this gorgeous girl walks in and alights next to him like a thick-waist bird of paradise, the guy’s on the damn phone sending the text message. Girl’s all batting the phone outta his hand, ‘Come on, Regis,’ got that sweet little pout on. Regis wants to know the score of some damn game that’ll still be there when he’s done laying hands on this girl. Kids these days have no concept of jazz.”
The bus rounded the corner and shuddered to a stop before them. The doors opened and the bus hissed and lowered, coming to an easy angle with the curb. The man with the blanket stood and shuffled on first, while David waited behind and then followed. The silent kid looked up at the number on the side of the bus and back down to his phone.
33
FRANNY had always been overconcerned with her small flaws, the spider veins sprouting like thin roots from the curves of her nostrils. She covered her face daily with thick creams and powders that caused her forehead and cheeks to resemble a tanned volleyball. Her complexion cracked when she spoke. In part because of the attention Franny brought to it, David remembered his wife’s face as easily as he forgot the town where they had lived. The town was composed of a main road with branching side streets and a few small shops surrounding the police station, where Detective Chico was likely sitting at his desk, regarding a set of photographs he had taken of David’s home. Between a sandwich shop and the furniture outlet was a long, thin split in the tanned brick with what looked like scorch marks emerging from either side. His old dental office had been on the north side of town, and he avoided walking past it.