If Pil-sun became someone’s wife, Deok-gi would distance himself rather than remain involved with her and her family. It was painful but sobering to reflect on his intentions and on what Byeong-hwa called his “attraction” to her. His effort to free himself from his temptations was selfish — it was not for Pil-sun’s sake. He was an egoist.
Deok-gi was quick to criticize and reflect, and the more objective and unsparing he was in his self-criticism, the clearer Pil-sun’s image was etched into his heart. The torment was unbearable.
Won-sam arrived by bicycle less than thirty minutes later. The telltale signs of a servant were gradually fading; nowadays, he didn’t go about town on foot, and he sported an overcoat and a winter hat pressed down to his ears.
As he recounted it, Won-sam had heard the rumor from one of his friends who hung around the streets of Hwagae-dong, who had overheard it in a neighborhood bar. Picking up the gist of it, he had asked Won-sam to fill in the details. Won-sam knew nothing except that one of the drinkers was a young man in a Western suit.
As much as Deok-gi racked his brain, he couldn’t think of any Western-suited young man among those who frequented his house or the Hwagae-dong house. His current buddies were all Koreans studying in Kyoto, and those living in Seoul were friends from his secondary school days or from the church, and not likely to go to a cheap bar. And other acquaintances of his would not talk about Deok-gi’s household affairs.
“It sounds serious, like someone’s trying to blackmail you.” Secretary Ji, who was sitting next to Deok-gi, clucked his tongue.
“You’re right. It must have come from someone who knows the inner workings of our household. It’s like thieves talking about a robbery they committed because they just can’t keep quiet about what they did. If this continues, I won’t remain idle.” Deok-gi sounded determined.
“It would be one thing if the thief merely pretended that he was innocent by yelling, ‘Thief!’ But it’s quite another if he then goes behind your back and tries to steal from you again.”
“That’s exactly what they’re trying to do.”
“Did you give something to the doctors?”
“I sent them gifts. Aren’t we expected to? I gave some pocket money to our family doctors, and I was generous with the Japanese doctor at the hospital since he worked so hard. I also had to take into consideration that he holds a doctorate.”
“How much?”
“I was going to send gifts, but his assistant said cash would probably be better, so I sent three hundred won, thinking a hundred or two would be rather small.”
“Three hundred!”
“It seems like a lot to us, but it is less than a month’s salary for them.” It was rather extravagant that he had sent four hundred won to the hospital doctors — a hundred for the Korean assistant and three hundred for the Japanese doctor — while he had sent a small fraction of that to the other doctors.
Even Secretary Ji, who had known the Jo family for many years, found it suspicious. Was three hundred won a reward for keeping quiet about something? Had Deok-gi covered up for the conspirators, though he was sickened by them, in order to protect his family name? Had he been driven into a corner because Sang-hun had masterminded some evil act?
The following day, when Deok-gi’s family was in the middle of a late breakfast, Pil-sun hesitantly approached the veranda. She heard the maid mutter in the kitchen, “Did she come this early to beg for breakfast?” Pil-sun’s cheeks burned. The Suwon woman had engaged this maid, and she seemed antagonistic to Pil-sun.
A long time passed before Deok-gi’s wife looked out. She didn’t seem overjoyed at the sight of their visitor. As Pil-sun stepped up to the veranda and approached the main room, a voice like that of Deok-gi’s mother wafted out of the other room. “Why did she come again? As if she didn’t stay long enough the other day. ”
Pil-sun slid open the door and rushed into the room, as if someone had shoved her from behind. She was furious, wondering how those women could act the way they did, even if only out of concern for their reputations.
Deok-gi’s drowsy eyes brightened, and a smile spread across his face. Pil-sun found more relief in being able to escape the chiding eyes than in Deok-gi’s smile.
“Are you feeling better today?” asked Pil-sun, seating herself in a corner.
“I’m much better now, but I’m worried about your father. How is he doing?”
Deok-gi was unaware how rudely Pil-sun had been greeted, and he studied her countenance carefully.
“He’s no worse, at least. My mother says I should express our thanks for your generosity.” Pil-sun herself invented the message.
“Oh, it was nothing.” Deok-gi sat quietly, struck by the unhappy air coming from the precious guest he had managed to bring over with such difficulty.
What happened? Has there been a misunderstanding because of something Byeong-hwa said to her? Regardless of Byeong-hwa’s tendency to speak his mind, he wouldn’t have said to her, He asked me to marry you.
“Are you on your way to the hospital?” Deok-gi asked, unable to think of anything else to say.
Pil-sun embraced his question as an excuse and hurriedly stood up, saying, “Yes, I’d better go right away.”
“Why are you so intent on leaving when you just got here? Please forgive me if I did something wrong,” Deok-gi said in a joking tone.
Only then did she flash a smile. “Oh, no, it’s not that!” Once again, Pil-sun regretted venturing into a place she shouldn’t have. Her anger had dissipated and, in despair, she was afraid of the humiliation she would have to endure if she wanted to maintain a friendship with this man.
“It will take only ten minutes. Please, sit down.” Deok-gi decided to forgo any more preambles and get to the point. “I heard things are going well at the store.”
“Yes. We’re doing quite well,” said Pil-sun as she sat down, her shoulders hunched.
“Do you enjoy selling things? Do you want to become a real businesswoman?”
Pil-sun gazed at him for a long time, perhaps because the question was difficult to answer. She managed to smile. Was this what he intended to talk about? Crestfallen, she felt like a fool now that her fantasy about going with him to Japan had vanished.
“It must be challenging work for you. You’re not a born businesswoman and. What I’m trying to say is that women — well, not only women — have an especially difficult time living alone. Our society is like that, you know.”
Pil-sun grew tense.
“To put it bluntly, I think it would be better if you could find someone who could be entrusted with your care. You’re going to get married eventually, so it’d be best if you decided, sooner rather than later, to settle down. ”
Shocked, Pil-sun dropped her head without even realizing it. Who did he think would marry her? Instinctively, she thought, If he had a really good potential bridegroom in mind, he’d want his sister to marry him.
When Deok-gi mentioned Byeong-hwa, Pil-sun felt as if she had been hit on the head. She grew dizzy as Deok-gi went on and on about something she couldn’t take in, until she heard him say, “Anyway, if it happens, it’d be satisfactory for Kim, and I’m sure you have no complaints, right?”
She wondered if he could be joking in order to gauge her feelings. She could never marry Byeong-hwa. And what about Gyeong-ae? She wanted to cut his excruciating counsel short. Pil-sun had never felt like marrying anyone, let alone Byeong-hwa, for whom she felt nothing, not even in her dreams, so the matter was not worth discussing. Byeong-hwa was no more than a friend to her, though Deok-gi may have been a better friend to him than she was. She also knew that Byeong-hwa didn’t have any special feelings for her.