“Plenty of men take concubines. If my husband finds one for himself, I’m not at fault, am I? I’ll just take it easy,” Deok-gi’s wife said with a grin. Though easygoing by nature, she was now intentionally provoking her mother-in-law, sick and tired of her nagging.
“Don’t tell me you’re praying that your husband will take a concubine. This is beyond me. What kind of woman are you? You must have something else in mind.”
The daughter-in-law was speechless. Deok-hui came out and tugged her mother away by the arm. “Mother, please come in. What’s wrong with you? Why are you involving Sister in your tirade when she’s done nothing?”
Her mother refused to budge. “Your sister should know that we ended up like this because of generations of concubine tramps!”
“What are you talking about? Who’s talking about getting a concubine? I don’t know what you’re worrying about. You know that my brother isn’t like that!”
“How do you know he wouldn’t do it? I need to prevent it from happening.”
“Just worry about yourself, Mother. You’re upset over a concubine that doesn’t exist. And it’s none of your business!”
“Watch your mouth!” her mother exploded.
The daughter-in-law tried to shoo Deok-hui away.
“Do you think I act like this because I’m jealous of those tramps?” the mother continued. “Your father took a wrong turn when he seduced Gyeong-ae, and now he’s driven away his wife and children and has taken a second one. They’re kicking up a storm over there, turning the house into a free-for-all everyday, gambling. How long do you think his three hundred bags of rice will last? And that’s not all. I hear your father isn’t drinking much these days since he has another hobby.”
“What are you saying?” Deok-hui cried in distaste.
“You want to know what I mean? That one of these days, he’ll crawl back, right before my eyes, with only a thatched mat covering his body,” she hissed.
Deok-gi was determined to ignore his mother’s words, but, in spite of himself, a frowning furrow stretched between his eyes.
“Stop it right now and go inside! How can you say such things in front of us, no matter how you feel about him?” Deok-gi was unable to stand it any longer.
“Children are always on their father’s side, you won’t listen to me. But you wait and see if I’m wrong. The guys walking up and down Jongno — drooling, dozing, and keeping their bodies warm with thatched mats — do you think they got like that because they don’t have families or money or because they’re uneducated?”
A chill went down Deok-gi’s spine. When he received Byeong-hwa’s letter in Kyoto, he had brushed off his friend’s outrageous notion that he should make sure his father wasn’t smoking opium. Deok-gi was afraid that his mother’s insinuation could be true. Suppressing his desire to question her about it, he opened the door and said, “Won’t you please go inside now, Mother? You’ll catch a cold.”
“All right. Don’t come out. I’m going inside.” Though still unsatisfied, she turned around and went to her room, trailed by her daughter and daughter-in-law.
“Brother, why didn’t you come out sooner?” Deok-hui called out, smiling, as she followed her mother into the room.
Lying on his bed, Deok-gi felt overwhelmed by life. Until the age of twenty-three, he had grasped the meaning of hardship only through novels and from Byeong-hwa. This was possibly the first time that his own affairs seemed to press down on him. Suddenly, he was at the center of things and was held accountable for his family’s every move. Although he had accepted the responsibility, he was burdened with the understanding that nothing could be solved on its own.
The more he considered his mother’s near-pathological laments, the more he pitied her. His wife seemed indifferent to the idea of his having a concubine, and she found her mother-in-law’s rants amusing. Although Deok-gi was unhappy about the way his mother had disparaged Pil-sun and drove her away — shocked, really, that a gentlewoman of her station could behave the way she did — he tried to sympathize with her. There is a saying: once burned, doubly reticent. He knew it was impossible, however, to rectify her situation.
His father was just as pitiable. He had been born at the wrong time, in the wrong era. His fate actually had a lot to do with his personality. Perhaps it all began with Deok-gi’s grandfather’s persona. Though Byeong-hwa’s father and Pil-sun’s father both lived in the same era as his own father — in the same environment and under the same conditions — the path of Deok-gi’s father was entirely different from theirs. Ultimately, one’s personality was the deciding factor: not every rich man’s son lived like his father.
Deok-gi sighed at his own fatalism. He wondered what would have happened had the management of his household been entrusted to Byeong-hwa. Byeong-hwa wouldn’t have met Pi-hyeok or opened a grocery, but he would have supported Pil-sun’s family all the same, made sure that Jang Hun always had some pocket money, and set up Gyeong-ae as proprietress of Bacchus. Byeong-hwa wouldn’t have been strangled by household affairs or burdened as keeper of the safe. Deok-gi had no desire to live his father’s life, but it seemed he might be able to relax and enjoy life better, to move about more freely, if he swapped his two thousand bags of rice for his father’s three hundred. To be entrusted with the management of such a big household at such a young age, especially when he had no practical experience beyond his studies, was a staggering onus. Deok-gi was envious of Byeong-hwa, who had created a love nest at the back of a grocery store, and of his father, who had splurged and furnished a house for his concubine. They seemed to be better off than Deok-gi himself, the so-called master of this chaotic household, who had to worry about losing the keys and about even one missing rice bag out of two thousand.
If only my grandfather had lived longer! If only I had an older brother who could take on the household affairs!
Less than a month into his new responsibilities, Deok-gi was already utterly alone and despairing. Above all else, Deok-gi was horrified by the way Pil-sun had been shown the door. Recalling her tearful and enraged expression and his mother’s tirade, he was deeply disturbed.
Deok-gi tried to forget Pil-sun. He took pains to push her to the back of his mind. It frightened him to think of her.
His manipulations and questioning had pushed the young woman’s innocent heart into despair. At the very least, he had made the mistake of upsetting her.
But what could he do now? There didn’t seem to be a solution.
Why are you trying to follow in your father’s footsteps? You’re going to pay for his medicine, you’re going to pay for his hospital fees, and you’re going to pay for everything. His mother’s words cut to the heart of him. Deok-gi was taken aback by the similarities between his father’s situation and his own. He felt as if his life were merely a dark tangle of fateful events.
I can’t turn Pil-sun into another Gyeong-ae, he kept telling himself as he tried to hold back the tears that filled his eyes. He loved Pil-sun too much for that.
Sweeping Roundup
Deok-gi grew bored in the main room, so he asked that his bedding be folded up before he went to the outer quarters. Secretary Ji and the older guests had moved to another room, keeping their distance from the new young master. Sitting alone in the large room, he imagined that he would enjoy studying there. He felt ill at ease about sitting in his grandfather’s place; everything in the room reminded him of him. Various relics he had used — the cabinet, the low desk holding the ink stone, the table — might have value as antiques and would be handed down from generation to generation, but they weren’t suitable for him.