“I was thinking the same thing,” she said with a soft laugh. “I didn’t want to say it, though.”
“You know you can say anything to me.”
“Yeah. You too.”
“I know.” I smiled, but it felt sad. “And if things don’t work out with Christy…”
“Don’t say that,” she said. “They will. And even if they don’t, I don’t think you and I…”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. We want different things.”
“Yeah. That should make Leah happy, though.”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t realize how… um… close you are. I knew she was annoyed at
the wedding, but I thought it was kids’ stuff, from when we were girls. I always used to get my way, and she hated it. Mostly it was ’cause she wouldn’t do what Mom wanted, so Mom wouldn’t let her do things.” She shook her head at a memory. “She was always stubborn when she was little, not like me and Kara.”
“She’s stubborn now.”
“I know. And don’t tell her I said this, but I kind of envy her. I mean, she’s always had this independent streak that Kara and I didn’t. We did what Mom wanted, period. Sometimes I wonder how my life’d be different if I hadn’t.”
“Do you think it’d be better?”
“Honestly? No. I’m pretty happy right now. I mean, not entirely…” She gestured at me. “But yeah, I’m doing okay. I love my work at the clinic. And I enjoy the sorority, especially now that I’m a little older and don’t feel like I have to go to all the parties and do all the stuff to fit in.” She laughed softly.
“I know you don’t like Regan, but—”
“I don’t dislike her,” I said. “I guess I always saw her as the competition.”
“She was,” Gina said frankly.
“But now I see that she’s a real friend.”
“She is. And she’s done a lot to help me fit in. She totally fits. I mean, she’s in her element at UCLA. Chi O is one of the ‘preppy girl’ sororities, so a lot of our popularity is about clothes and cars and money. It’s really superficial. We both hate it, but…” She shrugged.
“The Pikes are like that at UT. A couple of the other fraternities. At least from what I’ve seen, from the outside.”
“You’re right, they are. My dad makes enough money, but nowhere close to what some of my sorority sisters’ dads do. I used to feel like the charity case. Regan is one of the rich girls in our chapter, especially since she has a trust fund, while the others have to rely on their parents.”
I nodded. I’d always known that Regan had money, more than a million dollars in her own name, inherited from her grandfather.
“She kind of decides what the other girls like,” Gina explained. “It isn’t something she does on purpose—they just copy her. I mean, you remember how it was in high school, with the cool kids.”
A conceited part of me wanted to believe I was better than Regan, but then I thought about how people in the architecture program treated me, just because I had talent. Was I really that different than her? She had money; I
had ability. And people like the sorority girls or Freddie wanted to emulate us because of it.
Still, I didn’t want to let go of the idea that I was better than Regan. After all, I told myself, her influence was because of her grandfather, not anything she’d done. But where had my talent come from? Some quirk of genetics had given me the ability to see buildings in my head and to create art from metal and glass and concrete. I certainly hadn’t done anything to deserve it, no more than Regan had done for her inheritance. That was a sobering little epiphany.
“…so she told them if I went, she would too.”
I realized I hadn’t been paying attention, so I replayed what Gina had just said.
“She threatened to blacklist some of our more… stuck-up sisters,” she continued. “She was serious, too. She’d’ve done it. And two of them are legacies!”
“All for you?” I said.
“All for me.”
“She basically said you’re more important than any sorority.”
“No ‘basically’ about it. So now you know why we’re so close.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but… I’m glad you have Regan. Tell her for me, okay?”
“I will.”
“And tell her I’d like to meet her again, like it’s the first time. Sort of a do-over. I think I might like her when I’m not being a jerk to you.”
“She knows. I told her about our phone call. She said you did the right thing.”
I blinked.
“She doesn’t hate you,” she laughed. “She never did. She just hated the way you ignored me.”
“Then we have something in common.”
“I bet you never thought you’d say that.” We shared a grin and then she sighed. “I love talking to you. I think I’ll miss that most. Yeah, the sex was fun, but…” She shrugged. Then she thought about something and laughed. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m totally jealous of Leah.”
“Why?”
“Because of what you have together.”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
“Love. And sex without all the complications.”
“You don’t think you and I could have that?”
“No. One of us would want more, and the other would get hurt. Last time it was you. This time was me.”
“I never meant to hurt you. Then or now.”
“I know.” She sniffed and wiped the corner of her eye. She forced a smile. “Look at me. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry!”
“I didn’t see anything,” I lied gallantly.
“You’re a good guy, Paul. You always were, even if I didn’t see it all the time.”
“Well, thanks, but… no, I wasn’t. I was selfish, clueless, and immature.
Sometimes all three at once.”
“Yeah, you were,” she admitted with a teary laugh. She wiped her eyes again and smiled. “Let’s talk about something happier. Tell me about Christy.
She sounds wonderful.”
I paused to let Gina settle her emotions. “She is,” I said. “She’s an art major, a sculptor. She wants to get an MFA, but she isn’t sure what she wants to do then. She’s from a military family, like me, so…”
We talked and eventually laughed as I told her more about Christy. Then Gina told me she’d been talking to a guy she’d met at the clinic. He was another pre-med student and doing volunteer work to help his med school applications. They hadn’t been on a date yet, but she thought he was working up the nerve to ask her.
“I hope he does,” I said. “He sounds like a nice guy.”
“We’ll see,” Gina said cautiously. She was about to say something else when Elizabeth stuck her head into the kitchen.
“We’re about to open presents,” she said. “Would you care to join us?”
“Depends,” I shot back. “Are there presents for me?”
“No. Father Christmas only brought you a lump of coal. Now get in here!” She turned so quickly that her wine sloshed out of her glass. She dabbed her wrist with a napkin, drained the glass, and went in search of more.
“I guess we’d better go,” I said to Gina.
“Probably. They’ll just come looking for us if we don’t.”
We went to join our families.
“I enjoyed talking to you,” Gina said before we reached the living room.
“Me too. I always have. And I’ll always love you.”
“I know. I’ll always love you too. But… it sounds like you’ll have your
hands full with Christy.”
“I hope so.”
“I hope so too,” she said. “I really mean that. Tell her, okay?”
“I will. And tell Regan what I said.”
“I will.”
I gave her a hug and we held each other for a long time.
“We’d better go,” she said at last. “Life goes on.”
“Life goes on,” I agreed.
I called Christy the next morning before I had to leave for the airport. Her father answered.