“I’m not going to break up with you over something like that, but still… I don’t like it.”
She nodded.
“I don’t mind waiting till you’re ready, but I’ll tell you flat out that we aren’t getting engaged until I know you’re The One. Yeah, we joke about
‘not till we’re married,’ but I’m pretty serious about this. We’re going to have sex before then. If you aren’t comfortable with that, maybe we aren’t right for each other after all.”
Her eyes went wide with alarm.
“Sorry,” I said in a softer tone, “I didn’t mean to get all serious and everything, but you touched a nerve.”
“Note to self,” she said in a shaky imitation of my usual lighthearted tone,
“don’t mention marriage until we’ve gone all the way.”
“No, it isn’t that. It’s just… I don’t like bargaining for sex.”
“I’m sorry. I was trying to be funny, but it came out wrong.”
“Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry too. Like I said, you touched a nerve.”
She nodded, satisfied but still a little rattled.
I let the tension dissipate a bit more before I said, “You didn’t answer my question, though. How long did you wait with Simon?”
She took another sip of wine to cover her nervousness. “A long time.”
She cringed but then rushed ahead, “I’m ready to do it with you, though. I swear. Right now, if you want.”
She set her wineglass on the nightstand and lay back against the pillows. I watched with a detached sort of curiosity as she opened the shirt and bared her body. She spread her legs, and her smooth labia parted to expose her inner lips, pink and completely dry.
Some twisted part of me decided to play along. I rolled to my knees and scooted between her legs. My dick was still soft, so I swung it like a hose and slapped her bare pussy. She flinched but forced herself not to move, even when I rubbed my soft glans against her clit.
I sat back on my heels. “Relax. We aren’t going to have sex.”
“But—? I thought—? I mean, you want to, don’t you?”
“Yes, but not till you’re ready.”
“But… I am.”
“No, you’re scared. And you’re saying what you want to be true.”
“But…?”
“You’re dry, and I’m soft. Trust me, we aren’t having sex.”
“But I really want to.” She reached down and began massaging my limp manhood.
“It won’t work,” I said after a moment. “Sex is mental as much as physical.”
“But… he’s always ready.”
“That’s because you’re always ready. This time you’re faking it, and he knows better. I know better. So we still won’t have sex even if you fool him into getting hard.”
She released me and pushed herself upright. Then she pulled her legs in.
She wrapped her arms around them and set her chin on her knees.
“I hate that you can read me so easily,” she complained. “No one else can.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m using more than just my eyes and ears.”
“Marianne warned me about you.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“She said you aren’t playing games.”
“No, I’m serious. And I’m willing to wait, if that’s what it takes.”
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“I still want to know how long you waited with Simon, though.”
She buried her face. “I hoped you’d forgotten that.”
“Nope. Sorry.” Except I wasn’t.
“Promise you won’t be upset?”
“I promise. How long, in months?”
“Um… maybe six?” She peeked at me with one eye and then slowly raised her head. “You aren’t angry?”
“Angry? No. Frustrated? Yeah, a little.” I crossed my legs and got comfortable. “I want to have sex with you. I want to make love to you. And I want to fuck you. Several times a day, as a matter of fact.”
“Oh my gosh.”
“Mmm hmm. I love you, so I’m willing to wait—”
“Thank you.”
“—but I’ll be honest, six months is a long time. Too long.”
“I know. I want to do it with you, but… I’m scared.”
“Physically or emotionally?”
“Maybe… both?”
“Okay,” I said slowly.
“I didn’t really enjoy it with Simon. It… hurt. And you… um… have
more to offer a girl. In the penis department.”
“That doesn’t really matter, though.”
“It matters to me,” she bleated.
“Did it ever feel good with him?”
She nodded quickly. “After the first couple of times, but…”
“But what?”
“We didn’t really know what we were doing, so…”
“Sex is a skill. The physical part, at least. You have to practice to be good at it, like anything else.”
“No you don’t. You just… do it.”
I laughed and shook my head. “No, it’s a skill. You can be bad at it.”
“How? You just put one thing into another.”
“How is diving a skill? You just jump into the water, right? Any idiot can fall off a diving board.”
“What? No you can’t! It takes lots of— Oh. Now I get it. That’s what you mean about sex. To be good takes practice.”
“Mmm hmm. Any idiot can slide a dick into a pussy. But there’s a lot more going on than just Slot A and Tab B.”
“And you know all that stuff, I suppose.”
“Yeah, I do. I’m not the world’s best lover, but I’m pretty good, if I do say so myself. Like you are at giving head.”
She blushed and lowered her eyes.
“You may not be the best in the world, but you’re the best I’ve ever had.”
“Thank you. I like doing it.”
“I can tell. Speaking of which… I was hoping for round two.”
“Three. You came twice earlier.”
“Well, yeah, but I only counted that as round one, ’cause we didn’t really pause in between.”
“How do you do that, by the way?” she said. “Most guys nee—” She clapped a hand over her mouth.
I chuckled. “Slipped, didn’t you?”
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
I looked at her earnestly instead of arguing. “I know you’ve been with more guys than you let on.”
“I have not!”
I did the skeptic thing with my eyebrows.
“I haven’t. Just Simon.”
“Look, I don’t care. I don’t think you’re a tramp or anything. Far from it.
Besides, I’m the beneficiary of all your experience.”
“All my what!”
“Experience. Giving head. You didn’t learn that from a couple of times with Simon. You had boyfriends before him, and—”
“But I never did anything with them. I was a good girl!”
“You’re still a good girl,” I said calmly. “That’s kinda my point. You can be good at sex and still be a good person. Besides, I’ve had other women in my past. Why should I get upset that you’ve had other men? What kind of hypocrite do you think I am?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied doggedly.
“Seriously? Why do you even try? You know you can’t lie to me.”
“Sometimes I really don’t like you.”
“Especially when I call you on your little white lies.”
“They aren’t lies!” She pulled her knees tighter to her chest.
I reached out, but she swatted me away.
“Don’t touch me!”
I felt a surge of anger but clenched my jaw and controlled it.
“I’m sorry,” she said immediately. “I didn’t mean it.”
I took a deep breath through my nose and exhaled slowly. “It’s okay.
Listen, I don’t want to argue. I don’t care if you’ve been with one guy or ten.
The—”
“Ten! What kind of girl do you think I am?”
I took another deep breath and tried to find my inner balance. “I apologize,” I said after a long moment. “The number doesn’t matter. One guy, two, or… more. I don’t care. Same with the women in my past. The number doesn’t matter.”