“I don’t give up very easily,” she continued. “So I never stopped believing in us. Not when I found out you had two girlfriends. Not when you went after Wren. Not when you started seeing Daphne. Not when you dated all those other girls. Not even when you took up with Gracie.”
I blinked at the enormity of what she’d just said. She misread it, though, and thought my reaction had to do with Gracie.
“He just went soft a little,” she said. “I know it probably makes me a horrible person, but I’m glad you broke up with her. I really don’t like her. I don’t even like that you have classes with her. But I know you’ll never get back together with her.”
“No.”
“She’s too…” She smiled at her own private joke. “She’s too vanilla. You want someone kinkier. Like me. See? I can tell. You just got hard again.” She concentrated on stroking me. Then she said, “That’s why I’ll tell you about my fantasies. Some of them, at least. I can’t think of all of them. Not at the moment. They come and go. I’ll see something and it’ll remind me of one.”
I nodded. My own fantasies worked the same way.
“One I thought of tonight…,” she ventured. “It’s a bit kinkier. I… um… I want you to take me out in public, somewhere with lots of people but where we can find some privacy, and I can suck you. Like the mall, in one of the big department store restrooms.” She closed her eyes and imagined it.
“You can come on my face,” she said. “Then make me walk out to the parking lot with your semen still on me. Make me walk through all those people and know that any of them might see and know what I’d been doing.”
“That’s—” I cleared my throat. “That’s pretty hot.”
She blinked and returned to the present. Then she glanced at my hard-on.
“I can tell. And Gracie would never do anything like that, would she?”
“No way.”
“Would Leah?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “If I asked. But I don’t think she’d think of it herself.”
“How about Gina?”
“The same.”
“Kendall?”
“Boy, you’re really going through a who’s who of my ex-girlfriends.”
“I want to understand the competition.”
“They aren’t really the competition. You know that, right?”
“I know. Except for Leah, but even she isn’t.” She thought about it for a moment. “I guess my real competition isn’t your exes themselves, but the memory of them. Am I sexier than Gina? Am I kinkier than Kendall? Am I prettier than Leah?”
“Yes, yes, and yes.”
“You’re lying about the last,” she said, “but not the rest.”
“What can I say? You caught me. But in my defense, Leah’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.”
“She really is. She’s so exotic.” She thought about her and then blushed.
“It’s a good thing I don’t have a penis.”
My eyebrows twitched. “So you have the hots for Leah?”
“I have a weakness for exotic brunettes. All my serious girlfriends.
Except Brooke.”
“Oh? Is she blonde too?”
“No, a redhead.” All of a sudden she laughed. “So you like the idea of me and a redhead?”
“Who told?”
“He did,” she said with a pointed look. Then she studied him for a long time as she stroked slowly. “I’ve never met a guy who could last as long as you without coming.”
“It’s ’cause we’re talking,” I said. “I get worked up, but never to the point of orgasm. So it’s like a volcano building up pressure.”
“Until it erupts in my mouth?” She grinned. “Yes, please.”
“In a minute,” I said. “Or five. Something you said made me think.”
“Mmm?”
“About Kendall. Remember I said I thought you were a lot like her?”
“How could I forget? That’s when I thought you were going to tell me you weren’t interested.”
“Um… no. I’m definitely interested.”
“I can tell!” she laughed. “But you were saying…? About Kendall?”
“Your fantasies. They’re just as wild as hers, but you don’t feel guilty about them.”
“Oh, I still feel guilty,” she said. “But less and less as I realize you like them too. It’s a relief to know there’s someone else like me. Still, I’ve had to hide them so long it’s going to take a while. And the Church doesn’t exactly condone a lot of what I want to do, so I have to figure out how to live with that guilt, but…” She thought about it for a moment and then shrugged.
“God brought you into my life for a reason,” she continued. “I have to believe He knows what He’s doing. So I’ve stopped listening to Sister Prune in my head. I listen to my heart instead.”
“And what’s it telling you?”
“That you’re right for me, kinky fantasies and dark secrets and all.”
“I think so too. About you, I mean.”
“Of course you do!” she laughed. “You’ve been kinky all along. And you don’t feel guilty about anything. Not sex, at least.”
“No.”
“So that’s why I like telling you things. And why I want to do things with you. Not just the vanilla things either. The kinky ones, too, like biting and spanking and… um… choking.”
My eyebrows rose with a question.
“I… really liked it in Tahoe,” she admitted. “When we were watching Wren and Trip through the—”
“Oh, I remember.” Then I chuckled. “We’re definitely going to have to talk about a safe word. For real this time. Not now, but soon.”
“You know me so well.”
“Mmm.”
“Okay, now tell me one of your fantasies.”
“Sure.”
“Ugh! It really bugs me how easy this is for you.”
“If it makes you feel any better, it isn’t that easy. I have a couple of fantasies that I’ve never told anyone. And just like you and yours, I’ve kept them hidden for so long that it’s going to take a while. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you. They’re… ‘Dark’ isn’t the right word. More like
‘taboo.’”
Her eyes widened with a dozen unasked questions.
“Yeah, exactly,” I agreed. “Anyway, let me think of some vanilla ones.
Most of them are jerk-off fantasies.”
She nodded. “Mine are like that. Sometimes I daydream in class or while I’m swimming laps, but most of the time it’s while I’m… you know.”
“Masturbating,” I said helpfully.
“I know the word. I just can’t say it easily. Be patient with me. All right?”
“Will do. So… my fantasies. Most of ’em have to do with blowjobs.”
“I never would’ve guessed.”
I shot her a grin for the deadpan delivery. “Some are simple,” I went on,
“like I want you to blow me while I’m driving or flying. Have to be careful with the last one, though. I remember my parents talking about a guy who crashed his plane while his girlfriend was giving him head. They were both killed.”
She blinked in shock.
“Exactly. So… blowjobs are fun, but not if they get you killed.”
“You can say that again.”
“Blowjobs are fun, but not if they get you killed.”
“I deserved that.”
“Yeah, sorry. Anyway, what’re some of my others? Well, I’d like to take pictures of you while you suck me.”
“Maybe,” she said cautiously. “As long as the pictures are only for us.”
“Yeah, definitely. Not something I’d carry in my wallet and show to strangers.”
“Um… no.”
“Along those lines—the blowjob, not the strangers—”
She grinned.
“—I want you to wear lipstick and blow me.”
“Ooh, that sounds like fun. I can see how deep I can take you.”
“Mmm hmm. And it’s super-sexy to have a woman’s red lip-prints on my cock.”