“Then,” went on Judkins, trying to imitate the Colonel’s solemn efficient voice, “‘On the subject of prisoners’”-he hiccoughed and made a limp gesture with his hand-“‘On the subject of prisoners,’ well, I’ll leave that to you, but juss remember… juss remember what the Huns did to Belgium, an’ I might add that we have barely enough emergency rations as it is, and the more prisoners you have the less you fellers’ll git to eat.’”
“That’s what he said, Judkie; that’s what he said.”
“‘An the more prisoners ye have, the less youse’ll git to eat,’” chanted Judkins, making a triumphal flourish with his hand.
Chrisfield groped for the cognac bottle; it was empty; he waved it in the air a minute and then threw it into the tree opposite him. A shower of little apples fell about Judkins’s head. He got unsteadily to his feet.
“I tell you, fellers,” he said, “war ain’t no picnic.”
Chrisfield stood up and grabbed at an apple. His teeth crunched into it.
“Sweet,” he said.
“Sweet, nauthin’,” mumbled Judkins, “war ain’t no picnic… I tell you, buddy, if you take any prisoners”-he hiccoughed-“after what the Colonel said, I’ll lick the spots out of you, by God I will… Rip up their guts that’s all, like they was dummies. Rip up their guts.” His voice suddenly changed to one of childish dismay. “Gee, Chris, I’m going to be sick,” he whispered.
“Look out,” said Chrisfield, pushing him away. Judkins leaned against a tree and vomited.
The full moon had risen above the clouds and filled the apple orchard with chilly golden light that cast a fantastic shadow pattern of interlaced twigs and branches upon the bare ground littered with apples. The sound of the guns had grown nearer. There were loud eager rumbles as of bowls being rolled very hard on a bowling alley, combined with a continuous roar like sheets of iron being shaken.
“Ah bet it’s hell out there,” said Chrisfield.
“I feel better,” said Judkins. “Let’s go get some more cognac.”
“Ah’m hungry,” said Chrisfield. “Let’s go an’ get that ole woman to cook us some aigs.”
“Too damn late,” growled Judkins.
“How the hell late is it?”
“Dunno, I sold my watch.”
They were walking at random through the orchard. They came to a field full of big pumpkins that gleamed in the moonlight and cast shadows black as holes. In the distance they could see wooded hills.
Chrisfield picked up a medium-sized pumpkin and threw it as hard as he could into the air. It split into three when it landed with a thud on the ground, and the moist yellow seeds spilled out.
“Some strong man, you are,” said Judkins, tossing up a bigger one.
“Say, there’s a farmhouse, maybe we could get some aigs from the hen-roost.”
“Hell of a lot of hens… ”
At that moment the crowing of a rooster came across the silent fields. They ran towards the dark farm buildings.
“Look out, there may be officers quartered there.”
They walked cautiously round the square, silent group of buildings. There were no lights. The big wooden door of the court pushed open easily, without creaking. On the roof of the barn the pigeon-cot was etched dark against the disc of the moon. A warm smell of stables blew in their faces as the two men tiptoed into the manure-littered farmyard. Under one of the sheds they found a table on which a great many pears were set to ripen. Chrisfield put his teeth into one. The rich sweet juice ran down his chin, He ate the pear quickly and greedily, and then bit into another.
“Fill yer pockets with ’em,” whispered Judkins.
“They might ketch us.”
“Ketch us, hell. We’ll be goin’ into the offensive in a day or two.”
“Ah sure would like to git some aigs.”
Chrisfield pushed open the door of one of the barns. A smell of creamy milk and cheeses filled his nostrils.
“Come here,” he whispered. “Want some cheese?”
A lot of cheeses ranged on a board shone silver in the moonlight that came in through the open door.
“Hell, no, ain’t fit te eat,” said Judkins, pushing his heavy fist into one of the new soft cheeses.
“Doan do that.”
“Well, ain’t we saved ’em from the Huns?”
“But, hell.”
“War ain’t no picnic, that’s all,” said Judkins.
In the next door they found chickens roosting in a small room with straw on the floor. The chickens ruffled their feathers and made a muffled squeaking as they slept.
Suddenly there was a loud squawking and all the chickens were cackling with terror.
“Beat it,” muttered Judkins, running for the gate of the farmyard.
There were shrill cries of women in the house. A voice shrieking, “C’est les Boches, C’est les Boches,” rose above the cackling of chickens and the clamor of guinea-hens. As they ran, they heard the rasping cries of a woman in hysterics, rending the rustling autumn night.
“God damn,” said Judkins breathless, “they ain’t got no, right, those frogs ain’t, to carry on like that.”
They ducked into the orchard again. Above the squawking of the chicken Judkins still held, swinging it by its legs, Chrisfield could hear the woman’s voice shrieking. Judkins dexterously wrung the chicken’s neck. Crushing the apples underfoot they strode fast through the orchard. The voice faded into the distance until it could not be heard above the sound of the guns.
“Gee, Ah’m kind o’ cut up ’bout that lady,” said Chrisfield.
“Well, ain’t we saved her from the Huns?”
“Andy don’t think so.”
“Well, if you want to know what I think about that guy Andy… I don’t think much of him. I think he’s yaller, that’s all,” said Judkins.
“No, he ain’t.”
“I heard the lootenant say so. He’s a goddam yeller dawg.”
Chrisfield swore sullenly.
“Well, you juss wait’n see. I tell you, buddy, war ain’t no picnic.”
“What the hell are we goin’ to do with that chicken?” said Judkins.
“You remember what happened to Eddie White?”
“Hell, we’d better leave it here.”
Judkins swung the chicken by its neck round his head and threw it as hard as he could into the bushes.
They were walking along the road between chestnut trees that led to their village. It was dark except for irregular patches of bright moonlight in the centre that lay white as milk among the indentated shadows of the leaves. All about them rose a cool scent of woods, of ripe fruits and of decaying leaves, of the ferment of the autumn countryside.
The lieutenant sat at a table in the sun, in the village street outside the company office. In front of him sparkled piles of money and daintily tinted banknotes. Beside him stood Sergeant Higgins with an air of solemnity and the second sergeant and the corporal. The men stood in line and as each came before the table he saluted with deference, received his money and walked away with a self-conscious air. A few villagers looked on from the small windows with grey frames of their rambling whitewashed houses. In the ruddy sunshine the line of men cast an irregular blue-violet shadow, like a gigantic centipede, on the yellow gravel road.
From the table by the window of the café of “Nos Braves Poilus” where Small and Judkins and Chrisfield had established themselves with their pay crisp in their pockets, they could see the little front garden of the house across the road, where, behind a hedge of orange marigolds, Andrews sat on the doorstep talking to an old woman hunched on a low chair in the sun just inside the door, who leant her small white head over towards his yellow one.
“There ye are.” said Judkins in a solemn tone. “He don’t even go after his pay. That guy thinks he’s the whole show, he does.”