Lily was in the kitchen helping Fazire prepare dinner. At her daughter’s cry, she knew Nate was home. She knew this because Tash’s exuberant shout had become the nightly ritual upon Nate’s arrival home however tonight there was a bit more excitement behind the mad dash.
Lily’s eyes flew to Victor who was sitting at the kitchen table going through some papers.
It was Thursday, Victor and Laura weren’t due to visit until Saturday but Lily had recruited Victor in her latest strategy to get Nate to trust in her, in their family, in happiness.
She wasn’t lying to him when she told him she didn’t want to know his secrets. She didn’t want to know, she didn’t care what they were. Whatever they were wouldn’t matter in the slightest.
She just wanted him to believe, believe in her, believe in their family and believe in himself. She knew he didn’t. She was shocked by that knowledge but she knew it was there all the same. It held him back, kept him away from her, kept him removed and she wanted, no, it had now become a need, she needed him. She needed him for Tash and she needed him for herself.
She wasn’t making a lot of headway, no matter how hard she tried (and she’d been trying very hard) so she’d decided to pull out the big guns and enlist Laura and Victor. It was a desperate measure but she didn’t care about that either. She wasn’t too proud to admit she was desperate. This was her family she was worried about, Lily would do anything.
Catching her look, Victor grinned at her.
Lily grabbed a tea towel and dried her hands quickly, throwing a nervous smile at Victor, then one to Fazire.
Fazire was watching her closely. Fazire, Lily noticed the last couple of weeks, was watching everything closely, even closer than normal, especially Nate.
Lily didn’t have time to worry about Fazire. She rushed out of the kitchen and down the hall, feeling nervous. Why, she didn’t know. She wanted this to be perfect, to be meaningful, to put at least one dent in that armour around Nate’s heart, to watch just one drop melt off the ice that encased it.
Laura rushed into the hall from the living room, her eyes wide and excited. When she spied Lily, she gave a little giggle. At the same time, both women’s hands searched for the other’s and they clasped them tightly and walked out the front door.
Tash was dancing around Nate and the brand-new, bright red, Ducati motorcycle that was sitting on the front walk, an even brighter-red, huge bow adorning it.
Victor had chosen the bike because Lily didn’t know anything about Ducatis. Nate had one, of course, in London but he didn’t have one in Somerset. Victor had assured her this bike was the best, the most expensive, the top of the line and it certainly looked it (and cost it). Victor had arranged for it to be delivered and Lily had paid for it out of her seven million pounds. It was the first time she touched the money. Victor had also decided that he and Laura had to come to watch the presentation, certain it would be a doozy.
It was a doozy all right.
Nate was staring at the motorcycle.
Tash was shouting.
“Mummy bought it for you! Isn’t it pretty? She says you’ll take me for a ride. She got helmets and everything! One for you, one for her, one for Fazire and even a small one, for me!”
Nate’s eyes went from the bike to Lily, who had stopped just outside the front door and Laura had stopped beside her. Lily felt Fazire and Victor move in behind them.
She smiled at Nate.
Nate frowned at her.
“Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you like it?” Tash sing-songed, still dancing around the bike.
Nate was still glaring at Lily, seemingly frozen to the spot. Lily was confused at his glare and her smile faltered.
“I wish to speak to you privately,” Nate announced, his voice sounded controlled, formal. He came unstuck and stalked toward her.
“Nate –” Lily started but he was already there, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the house, right through Victor and Fazire, going so far as shoving his father out of the way.
“He likes it! Daddy always speaks to Mummy privately when he’s happy,” Tash yelled.
Lily felt relief because what Natasha said was true. Nate carefully shielded Tash from any of his more amorous displays of affection. He was openly affectionate with Lily in front of anyone, holding her hand, touching her, brushing his lips against hers. But if he wanted something deeper and more meaningful, he did it behind closed doors.
Nate dragged Lily up the stairs, all the way up to their bedroom. He pulled her inside and then he slammed the door, slammed it so hard, it felt like it shook the house.
Lily stopped several steps away from him, tilted her head to look at him and smiled, woefully misinterpreting the intensity behind his actions.
“I take it you like the bike,” she said through her smile.
Nate stared at her, his eyes didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked angry. Very angry.
Her smile faltered.
“Who paid for that bike?” Nate asked, his voice dangerously calm.
She blinked at him, again beginning to be confused and the smile melted from her face.
“I did. It’s a present from me,” she replied.
“I already have a bike.”
Lily felt her heart sink. “I know, but it’s not here and I thought –”
He interrupted her. “What money did you use to pay for that bike?”
Her body jerked and she realised, too late, where she went wrong. All of a sudden the gesture seemed silly, indeed, it was silly. He’d paid for his own present.
“I used the money you gave me,” she answered in a small voice.
She felt tears start to prick her eyes. This was not going well at all.
“Lily, I told you, that money is for you.” Again, his tone was calm, even, low and still dangerous and she could tell he was angry.
“Yes, I know,” she went on. “It’s mine, that’s why I bought a present with it, er, for you.”
He kept his body still and the distance between them. She could tell this took an effort, she could tell he wanted to approach her and, for some reason, shake some sense into her and all of a sudden she felt afraid.
“You don’t use that fucking money for me. I don’t need a goddamned bike. I thought I explained this but I’ll explain it again,” he continued, using patience, what appeared to be extreme patience. “That money is yours. You use it for you.”
“Nate –” she began only to be interrupted again and it was clear his patience had quickly run out.
“I’ve got everything I need right here in this goddamned, fucking house!”
Even though Nate’s words were beautiful (in a way), Lily winced for two reasons.
Firstly, he’d lost his temper and his voice was raised, in fact, he was shouting and she’d never seen him that angry. He was, quite simply, enraged.
Secondly, he was cursing flagrantly. He didn’t shy away from a curse word but he also didn’t use them very often. And certainly not in a raised voice that could be overheard by his daughter who he went to great pains to protect from anything he felt might be inappropriate.
Surprisingly, considering Nate didn’t talk much, he wasn’t finished and he was getting louder.
“And you don’t use it on Natasha. I’ll take care of our daughter.”
“Nate –” she tried again, using what she hoped was a soothing voice, but he interrupted her again and he was even louder.
“And you don’t use it on Fazire. It’s clear you took care of Fazire and anything you used to take care of, now, I take care of. Is that understood?”