“I’ve never loved, and I’ve never been loved. Ever. So, for me to feel the way I feel, I don’t know…It may be new to me, but identifying it is as easy as saying I’m frustrated, or angry, or disappointed. Love is something I feel, and although it may be something new to me, identifying it isn’t difficult.”
“Sounds logical,” Ethan said with a nod.
I have no real idea why, but I stood from my seat. I may have been slightly frustrated that Ethan was challenging me, or maybe I just wanted to change the pace of things. Regardless, I stood.
“So what about you? Cade spoke his mind, you’ve said nothing about how you feel,” I said as I stood.
Ethan stood from his seat and opened his arms, “We’ll see how this thing pans out as time passes, but I’d rather have half of you than none of you.”
I shook my head, “It’s not like that, Ethan.”
I glanced at Cade and motioned for him to stand, which he immediately did.
I alternated glances between Ethan and Cade, “Both of you get all of me. There’s no half of anything, each of you have me entirely. I’m giving myself to the two of you, and all that I ask is that you treat me with care and respect.”
I paused, admired Cade’s calm demeanor, and turned to face Ethan.
“And you,” I said as I raised my finger, “I expect you to protect all three of us.”
“Oh really?” he said with a laugh, “Not that I won’t, but why’s that?”
I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes slightly as I gazed down at his boots. As I glanced up his muscular tattooed frame, I grinned and pointed at him as I spoke, “Because you’re bigger, stronger, and older. And, well, because you have tattoos.”
“Consider it done,” Ethan said as he raised his right arm and flexed his bicep.
“Okay by me, I’m not much of a fighter,” Cade sighed.
“So, you’re willing to try this?” I asked.
Ethan shrugged his shoulders, “My last relationship went all to fuck. I know I care for you deeply, so yeah. I’ll do my best.”
I shifted my eyes toward Cade.
He nodded eagerly.
I spread my arms, inviting them both to hug me. As they did, I embraced them both, holding them tightly and thanking God for allowing them to understand my needs, and be willing to attempt to fulfill them. As I held them, Cade cleared his throat and lifted his head from my shoulder.
“You know,” Cade said, “omne trium perfectum is a Latin phrase meaning everything that comes in threes is perfect or every set of three is complete.”
I leaned away, studied Cade for a moment, and eventually turned toward Ethan. Ethan shrugged his free shoulder and grinned.
“He pretty much knows everything,” Ethan said, “But I have one last question.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“What’s for dinner?” he said as he reached around me and slapped Cade’s back.
I released them from my grasp and thought of what Cade had said a moment earlier.
Every set of three is complete.
I didn’t know who originally coined the phrase, but whoever it was, as far as I was concerned, was a very wise man.
Because standing in the living room together on that night, of all nights, we were complete.
ETHAN
For me to fully grasp the depth of the situation I had agreed to allow myself to be placed in would be impossible. The potential complexities, complications, certain jealousy, and complete lack of even a single strand of normalcy caused my head to spin with wonder.
The selfless side of me told me to quietly walk away, and avoid any potential heartbreak or harm. The selfish side, however, won the battle; at least this time. I felt a need to know what it felt like to love Rain Bauer. I knew myself well enough to know if I was anything, I was determined; and my determination continued to push me in Rain’s direction.
I was now convinced I should allow myself to dive head first into whatever was required to allow Rain’s love for me, and in turn, my love for her, blossom.
I’ve heard it said the eyes are a window to the soul. If the saying holds true, Rain’s soul was a very inviting one, and full of mystery. The part of Rain I was allowed to see was intriguing, and without barriers. Her everything was exposed for the small world she lived in to enjoy; and she held nothing back. All I could do was hope her ability to love was greater or at least equal to her ability to live life.
Rain took one step away from the counter and studied the teen girl from head to toe no less than twice, shaking her head as she did so. After probably feeling as if her evaluation was going poorly, the clerk sighed and began to turn away.
“The name of this place is Smoothie King, right? Say’s it on the sign. Since 1973,” Rain asked with a tone of sarcasm in her voice.
“Yeah, Smoothie King,” the clerk responded.
Rain pressed the web of her right hand into her waist, cocked her hip, and curled her lip slightly. After an audible exhale, she began again, “So how can you call yourself the undisputed King of smoothies if you don’t have coconut in your arsenal of fruit? I used to come in here, oh I don’t know, maybe 5 or 6 years ago, and you had coconut. You had a smoothie called the Pina Colada, and that’s what I want. And if you don’t have coconut, how are you going to make it?”
“We took it off the menu. I can make it taste like coconut, but we don’t have coconut,” the clerk sighed.
“No, no you can’t. I don’t want coconut flavored stuff, I want coconut. You know, the fruit. I want little shreds of it that come shooting through the straw after it gets plugged up and you suck really hard thinking your cheeks are going to cave in but they don’t and eventually your mouth fills up with the little shreds. That’s what I want. You know…” she paused and raised her right hand, wagging her finger in the air as she did so.
“This is my first date with him. So he asked me, Rain where do you want to go? He said I could pick anywhere, anywhere in the entire fucking city, and I picked this place. You should change your sign,” she turned and waved her arm as she walked away.
“Smoothie King is dead,” she said over her shoulder.
“Come on, Ethan. Fuck this place,” she sighed as she turned toward the door.
“Wow. That went all to absolute fuck, didn’t it?” I said as I stepped outside.
She kicked at the few pebbles that littered the asphalt near where the bike was parked. As I approached, she glanced up and shrugged.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just wanted to come here and get one of those smoothies. It pisses me off. It’s like going to Mc Donald’s and finding out they don’t have French fries anymore.”
“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” I said as I sat down on the motorcycle and rested my hands against the handlebars.
“It’s just,” she sighed and shook her head.
“What?” I asked.
She glanced up with glassy eyes and stared blankly toward me.
“I used to come here to kind of escape. I don’t know, it started when I was maybe twelve, after I talked to mom about the monster,” she said without emotion.
I believed I understood what she was speaking of, but I wanted to know more.
“The monster?” I asked.
She nodded her head and bit her lower lip slightly, “Yeah, my stepfather. I talked to her about him and she didn’t even care. So after that, Christina and I used to come up here. Well, not to this one, but the other one. And we’d just walk up there and sit. They had a patio, and we could sit out there and drink the smoothies. When I was there, I forgot, at least for a while, that he even existed. I’d drink a smoothie instead of eating. When I got home I always said I’d already eaten, and then I wouldn’t have to look at him any more than I had to.”