I rested the bottle in my lap and stared at the wall.
“My parents said they couldn’t come to the race. And these kids had been on Ryan pretty hard for the last week. My father had some deal for his work like he always did, so he couldn’t come, and they wouldn’t let Ryan come with me. My father swore to me he’d be fine; just kids being bullies, don’t worry. That’s what he told me. He promised me he’d protect him, and he didn’t,” I paused, inhaled a deep breath, and exhaled as I gazed down at the empty bottle of beer.
“It was a Saturday…”
I felt my eyes beginning to fill with tears. I stood from the table and walked to the window. As I gazed blankly out the window, I glanced up into the sky and wondered if Ryan was out there somewhere listening to what I was saying.
Just talk quick, E. You can do it.
“They uhhm. They beat him to death. They claimed it was an accident, but it wasn’t. It never is.”
I realized I was leaning against the window. I inhaled a shallow breath, hesitated, and exhaled onto the pane of glass. As my breath fogged up the glass, I leaned away and stared at the spot of condensation. As I watched it diminish, I continued.
“Because they were minors, they wouldn’t make their names public. They said because they were minors, they couldn’t try them in court as adults or provide their names. If they were three months older, they’d have tried them as adults. They sentenced them to fifteen months in juvenile protective bullshit, one year beyond their eighteenth birthdays.”
I stared out the window at the cloudy sky, crossed my arms over my chest, and continued.
“So, I was born with a gift. I was a smart kid and real good with computers and stuff. Too good. I hacked into the police computer system, found their names, and waited. I held out from going to college and just kind of lost touch with everything. I’d moved out from my parents, and was working on bikes for cash, saving my money for who knows what. When they released the two kids, I found ‘em pretty quick, together as Ryan always said. I don’t really know what I expected to happen, but it got out of hand pretty quick,” I paused as I remembered the day I found them both in the diner.
“When I stopped, one was crippled, and the other wasn’t doing too good. He was in a coma for some time, they said he was pretty close to death. Sometimes I wish the little bastard would have died. But they uhhm. They charged me with aggravated battery, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder. I did it, I knew I did it, and to be real honest, I was proud I did it. I copped a plea for four years, and went to the joint and did my time. I got out in three with good time. They never caught me for the hacking, so I was pretty happy about that.”
“Anyway. Yeah, Ryan. My little brother. We loved corn enchiladas,” I said as I turned around.
Both Cade and Rain were in tears. I glanced toward Cade. He sat with his head in his hands, softly crying. As my eyes became unfocused, I finished what I wanted to say.
“So, Cade. When you and I met? Yeah. I was uhhm. I was just making sure those little fucks didn’t do to you what they did to Ryan,” I sighed.
I knew no matter what, I could never let anything happen to Cade. He wasn’t gay, but his mannerisms, his way of dressing, and his feminine qualities certainly attracted attention. To be honest, the situation the three of us were in was perfect. It provided me with a comfort I would always be there for him, no matter what.
My former wife’s decision to leave, Cade’s moving in, finding Rain, her love for the two of us, and my acceptance of it all began to make perfect sense. I turned toward the window and peered out into the sky. Now, considering what my life had become, convincing myself everything had happened as a matter of chance was a statistical impossibility. I focused on the clouds as they slowly swept across the sky, and began to believe quite possibly Ryan was out there somewhere, watching down over me.
If so, a higher being began to make a little more sense.
As did Christina’s mother’s statement to Rain.
Everything happens for a reason…
ETHAN
Being forced into a situation you’re uncomfortable with, no matter how awkward it may or may not make you feel, is similar to being pressured into eating a shit sandwich. No matter how graceful or delicate the description is, it will never overcome the fact the end result is something you find repulsive. And two slices of bread hiding a thin layer of feces between them was never something I wanted to eat.
No matter how much sugar was sprinkled on top.
“It’ll be fun,” Cade grinned.
I pulled a beer from the fridge and turned to face him as I twisted off the lid, “Fun for you and Rain. Sorry dude, I don’t do the family thing.”
“Ethan, we’re a team,” Cade sighed.
I nodded my head, “I realize that. I accept it. And I agree with you, we are. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to intentionally put myself in a situation I’m uncomfortable with if there’s no value in it whatsoever. If I don’t go, you two will have a good time, no doubt. If I do go, you’ll have a good time, and I’ll have a shitty time.”
I raised the bottle to my lips and held it loosely, “You want to make me sad, brother?”
Cade shook his head, “No.”
“Okay, I need to stay here then. The only reason you want me to go is to make yourself believe I’m okay with everything. Well, believe this,” I lifted the bottle and took a long slow drink.
“I’m okay with everything,” I said as I slapped his shoulder with my free hand.
He brushed his hair away from his face with the back of his hand and narrowed his gaze slightly, “You sure?”
“Quite,” I nodded as I turned away, “Just go have fun.”
“I just don’t want…”
“Cade. It’s fine,” I sighed as I walked toward the living room.
Cade followed right behind me, babbling as he walked, “We could go up in the mountains, and there’s lakes and stuff. We could even rent a truck and take your motorcycle with us. You could ride it in the mountains. And my aunt, she’s pretty cool and stuff.”
“Your OCD aunt? Yeah, I’m sure she and I would have a fucking blast. No thanks, brother,” I chuckled.
Standing in front of the couch, Cade sighed heavily. “It just wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“You’re not going to be gone for a lifetime, dude. It’s what three days?” I shrugged.
He nodded his head.
I shrugged my shoulders again and tipped up the bottle of beer. As I drank the remaining beer, I stared at him and wagged my eyebrows.
“It’s all good,” I said as I stood.
“I’ve known you for eight years. I haven’t met your mother or aunt yet,” I said as I walked toward the trash can.
“Now’s a perfect time,” he responded.
I dropped the empty bottle into the trash and turned to face him, “Dude. Enough. Don’t ask again. Fuck.”
“Okay,” he sighed as he stared down at the floor.
“Maybe we’ll take an extra day. Maybe go Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And we could drive back on Sunday. I have a lot of vacation time, and Rain said Trent’s sister was okay with everything,” he said as he glanced up.
“Well, there you go. See? You two have fun, and I’ll stay here and work. I need the money,” I said as I walked toward my room.
“You never spend money,” Cade said under his breath.
“I know,” I chuckled as I reached down to unlace my boots.
The thought of Cade and Rain going to Denver was comforting to me. The entire time I had known Cade, he had spent all of his time either with me or alone. Even when I was married, if he wasn’t with me, he was at home alone. For him to see there was a life beyond what I offered him would be a good experience for him. Enjoying time on the road with Rain would allow him to get to know her on an entirely different level. Spending time with her while in the presence of his aunt and mother would solidify the relationship in his mind. Although he hadn’t revealed any concerns to me about his acceptance of our odd relationship with Rain, I had my reservations regarding his complete comfort.