“He had a phone call. He’s out back I think.” Brett said, folding his arms over his lap. He was trying to hide something. When I saw a book sitting open on Brett’s lap, and under his arms, I had to look twice. “Are you reading a book? Do you even know how?” I teased.
“Yes, I know how.” He shook his head. “I’m not a complete Neanderthal.” He held it up. The Girl on the Train.
“Really? Chick lit?”
“It’s not Chick Lit,” he argued. “It’s a mystery. I was bored, okay? I can only ride a dirt bike so much, RT.” He sighed. “Plus I saw Georgia reading it the other day.”
“Where did you see Georgia?”
“I ran into her at the diner. She was reading it, so I thought I’d give it a shot.”
“Uh-huh.” I hesitated asking him my next question. Not sure if I should even be getting involved. But then again, hesitation is the enemy and all that so I went ahead. “And, why exactly would you be interested in something Georgia was reading?”
“Does it matter?” He said, giving away his exact reason. I’d told him all about Georgia losing Jamie and how I didn’t think she was interested in a fling, especially with a guy that wouldn’t be around for too long.
“You better be careful, Brett.”
“I know, but I can’t help it if I’m attracted to her.”
“You most certainly can. She’s been through the wringer. The last thing that girl needs is for you to hit it and quit it.”
“You really think I’m that big of dick?” he asked. The usual cheeriness gone from his eyes and replaced with defeat. He closed the book and dropped it onto the coffee table with a thud. “And you’re being a complete hypocrite. You planning on giving up racing to live here with Nora? You ready to put your roots down for a girl?”
“I might be,” I replied. I knew that I wasn’t going to lose Nora again, and if that meant giving it up, I would. But, I knew for a fact that Brett Sallinger was not ready to make that sacrifice. He craved the fame and the thrill way more than I ever did. As we stared each other down momentarily, I realized that his glare wasn’t going anywhere. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings. “Maybe I am being a hypocrite, but Nora and I have a history. It’s different.” I countered. “I just know that relationships have never really been your thing. I don’t think you’d intentionally hurt her.” I said, trying to apologize for making him feel like shit. I was just telling him the truth though. It was hard to hear sometimes, I knew from personal experience. I shouldn’t have said anything.
“Yeah, well it’s going to take a lot more than me reading a book to win her over anyway. She doesn’t seem the least bit interested.” He stood up and dropped the book to the coffee table. “Don’t worry, Reid. She’s safe from me.” he said, walking out the front door and letting it slam behind him before I had a chance to respond. Nothing like having a fantastic day with the girl you love only to come home and royally piss off your best friend. My high became a low real quick.
I know we gave each other a lot of shit, but Brett was my best friend. I shouldn’t have been so hard on him. I was out the front door and ready to apologize again for doubting him, but I heard his bike fire up and knew that I wouldn’t be seeing him for a while. Riding was therapeutic for Brett, just like it was for me. Sometimes we needed the noise of a motor revving to actually be able to think clearly. Brett took off on one of the trails leading into the woods. I knew when he came back, he and I could talk and make things straight again.
“Hey,” Hoyt said, walking out the front door and on to the porch with me where I was leaning up against one of the wooden pillars. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure.” Today was apparently the day everyone wanted to talk. He walked up next to me and rested his hands on the railing.
“Nick Pilsner just called me.” Nick Pilsner was the head of the Throttled Energy’s sponsorship program. The same guy that had hooked Brett and I up with our contracts.
“Don’t tell me he wants us to pack up and go on some arena tour or something. I’m not ready to leave Halstead yet.”
“Not exactly.” Hoyt shook his head. “He wants me to pack up.”
“Why?”
“Did you mention something to him about me coaching riders?”
“I might have.” I smiled. “I know you want more than to just follow my dumb ass around all the time.”
“Well, he took your word. He offered me a position working with some up and comer. Chayse McCade or something like that. Ever heard of him?”
“I haven’t. You’re going to go right? I wasn’t lying when I said you’d be good at coaching. You’ve been coaching me since you were twelve. And let’s face it, I’m pretty well seasoned. I’m a big boy now,” I teased. “I mean,” I hesitated at the risk of sounding like a complete chick, but this was my brother. I could be a little mushy. “I’ll always need you on my team, little brother, but I want to see you do something great.” I smiled.
“You’re right. But, it’s a big step. I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“You need to go, Hoyt. This sounds like a fantastic opportunity.”
“It would be cool to help someone get in shape for the pros. And, you’re right about not really needing me anymore.” He sighed and thought for a moment. “I should do it.” I gave him a pat on the back. I was proud of my little brother. I wanted more for him than just being my manager. “Now who is going to keep you in line?” He laughed.
“I think I might know someone.” I winked. I hadn’t told him yet, but I was feeling pretty confident about Nora being back in my life. Hoyt might have thought he was good at keeping me in check, but there was no one that kept my ass in line quite like that girl.
What am I doing? I thought as I lie in bed that night. I hadn’t been able to stop smiling since I’d left Reid’s house, and I hadn’t been able to fall asleep either. Was it stupid that I was giddy over the idea of being with him again? And, not just sleeping with him, not that I wasn’t excited about that part. If the kiss we’d shared was any indication of what was to come, then how could I not be? I meant actually being with him. Being his girlfriend again.
I felt switched on after years of living in the safety of numbness.
It was electrifying and terrifying all at once.
But… no risk no reward, right?
For the first time in seven years, I was starting to remember who I was and who I wanted to be. The feel of holding on to him on the back of that bike was so freeing and fun and everything I’d thought I didn’t want anymore. Turned out, I’d been completely lying to myself. I wanted to be—no. I was wild and carefree. I wanted to follow my passions and be spontaneous. Being buttoned up and boring was over.
Less than twenty-four hours had passed since I’d broken up with Beau and told Reid that I was single. I’d become so used to my slow, uneventful life, that with everything that was happening, I felt like I was moving at light speed. No matter how I tried to rationalize the situation the fact was, I wanted to be with him. The risk of having my heart broke again was still there, but it didn’t seem as scary as it had when he first came back to town.
I believed him when he said he would never hurt me and that he wanted a future with me. I hated that we’d spent five years apart, but I don’t know if the seventeen year old me was actually ready to commit her life to someone else. Maybe Reid had done us both a favor by ending things back then. Maybe we both needed to grow up a little and discover who we were as individuals before being a couple.
I wasn’t the same little girl that would have followed him around the world, no questions asked. I wanted a life with him, but I still wanted my own life—whatever it was. I was content with my real estate job, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to dig my old camera out of storage and give photography another shot. Reid had been living his dream, perhaps it was time that I started living mine.