Approaching hesitantly, the urge to flee this place very strong. Mangled metal stretched for over a hundred yards down the hillside, a bloody hole in the snow where the headless victim had disappeared. A crumpled door . . . the cab. Oh Jesus Christ, I don't want to look inside there. You have to.
The pilot had hit the control panel, was crushed flat across it, blood dripping steadily off the instruments.
Unrecognisable as a human being, as if a road-roller had gone over him.
That hare, you hurt it bad, you ought to be going and trying to find it. Follow the bloodstains in the snow. There was blood everywhere.
The rest of the cab was empty as far as he could ascertain, like something you found in the corner of a breaker's yard, not even worth stripping for spares.
Go and search for that hare, put it out of its misery. There was nothing to linger on here for.
As he turned away Jon Quinn spied a third body in the snow. It lay fifteen or twenty yards away, face down. He caught his breath, wanted to back off, saw at a cursory glance that it was a throwback. He licked his dry lips. Maybe it had been here all along, was nothing to do with the crash. The hills were full of corpses; when the thaw came (if it ever did) they would begin to decompose, fill the air with the stench of rotting flesh, a reminder of this winter of death.
That hare could be lying up there in the forest in agony. All you have to do is to follow the blood.
He had to check the third body; he would never be able to live with himself if he didn't. It had been a person once.
It was a woman, he could tell that when he was still two or three yards away. Her hide clothing was torn down the one side giving him a glimpse of a shapely body beneath. His eyes searched for signs of blood, found none.
He knelt down, rested a hand on her, detected a shallow rise and fall. Merciful God, she still breathed. She was alive1.
He could not leave her now. That hare crossed his mind again; it was suffering too, but human life was more important than animal life.
A feel at her back and limbs, there were certainly no bones broken. She had been thrown clear on impact when the doors flew open, had landed in deep soft snow. Unconscious, though. Shock and concussion.
Suddenly, inexplicably, Jon Quinn's flesh prickled, gooscpimpled a path right the way up his spine and into the nape of his neck, on from there, spreading across his scalp. His brain seemed to stop, start again. Instincts gone crazy, knowing, recognising something but not being able to place it.
The woman, it had something to do with this woman . . .
He forced his arms underneath her, used the slope to help him roll her over. He would have to examine her carefully, make sure that it was only concussion. Pulling, pushing gently, turning her over.
Then he saw her face. It was akin to an electric shock coursing through his body, those goosepimples spreading everywhere like a moorland fire fanned by a gale. His vision tunnelled, circled a face he knew only too well, features as familiar as his own in the mirror each morning; even the change could not destroy such beauty, only alter it slightly. Marginally.
His brain flipped again. For a second everything before him went black, came back again like a rapid change of channel on television. He swayed, thought he was going to faint, his lips forming a name, mute utterances until at last he got it out.
'Jackie . . . Jackie . . . JACKIE!'
For Jon Quinn the whole world came to a stop in those few seconds. Time ceased to exist. Just the two of them, himself and Jackie, together again. Remembering so clearly the last time he had seen her, that bright sunny morning walking across the yard to where the Dyane was parked, calling out to him, 'I might be late back'; that meant she was going to stop off at Tiffany's tonight.
Late. Six months, maybe seven, he had lost track of time. But she had kept her word, come back. Alive!
Desperately he forced himself back to reality. She might be seriously hurt, even now she might not live. Fear, his quivering fingers examining her body. A few scratches and bruises, nothing worse as far as he could ascertain. Just concussion. Sometimes people died from concussion, victims of road accidents. The golden rule for bystanders who tried to help at the scene of a crash—never try to move an injured person!
He had to, though, because no medical help would be arriving, no ambulance with wailing siren and flashing blue light. No doctors. No hospital emergency unit. Just himself and a catch-phrase which now took on a different meaning—self-sufficiency! Self-survival.
Somehow he lifted her, cradled her in his arms, began the steep slippery descent. Miraculously he kept his footing, every minute an hour, the sweat running freely out of his pores. Until finally he reached level ground, followed the snow-topped hedges all the way back to the cottage, a journey that ended up in the bedroom where he lowered her gently on to the bed and removed the rest of her clothing. Only then did he kiss her.
It was still a dream. He braced himself for the awakening, the return to reality. A twinge of guilt as he remembered that hare, prayed that it was dead by now.
The thaw came in late February, the first hint of spring towards the middle of March, warm winds that brought with them the stench of rotting corpses in the hills. The corvines and their fellow predators were busy justifying their role in Nature's plans, the big cleaning-up operation.
Jackie had not regained consciousness for a week, and for a fortnight after that Jon fed her with fresh warm goats' milk. Gradually her strength returned and then began the makings of a new relationship which both realised that they would have to work at, developing their own means of understanding and communication. Adaptation. It wasn't easy but, as Jon reminded himself, they had to stick together because they might never see another human being again, civilised or throwback.
Spring eased its way into summer and with it came the knowledge that Jackie was pregnant. And something else . . .
He had not been feeling well for a day or two, nothing which he could be absolutely positive about, more a kind of lethargy, having to exert his will power to complete even the simplest chore. His reasoning was dulled, a simple
lifestyle suddenly taking on complications. And throughout it all Jackie seemed closer, their understanding so much easier.
A casual glance in the mirror brought on that same sensation of shock that he had experienced the day he had looked down upon Jackie's features on those snowy slopes, his flesh goosepimpling, his brain reeling. Staring into the cracked and dirt-streaked mirror over the kitchen sink, seeing a reflection that he barely recognised as his own.
The skin was coarser, seemed to be afflicted with some kind of allergy rash; eyes sunken and red-rimmed, a beard that was coarse and straggling. Lips thicker, nose squashed as though at some time it had been pushed back, broken by a heavy blow. Changed . . .
Wrestling with realisation, giving up. Accepting it. He went outside into the yard. The hillsides were starting to green over again with the lush surge of a new growth. A new beginning to a new world.
He breathed deeply, no longer smelled the odour of putrefaction. He sensed Jackie by his side, both of them standing there looking up towards the forest on the skyline. A wilderness, just the two of them left in it.
Suddenly this was how it had always been, how it would go on. Nothing would change, they did not want it to.