I nap the rest of the day, listen to three audiobook mysteries and once in a while grab something out of the fridge. Nico comes by in the evening and kind of acts like nothing happened and I realize I’m happy with that but we don’t talk too much anyway because we’re so tired that we keep yawning.
Nico says sleep well cutie when I take him to the door and then my phone rings, it’s Jameelah.
Nini, she says and I hear that she’s sniffling.
At first I think something terrible has happened, the house is on fire or Noura has had an accident.
Terrible. What you consider terrible is all relative, says Jameelah, for me there’s nothing worse than the fact that he just disappeared, poof, gone, without saying a word.
I don’t understand what she’s talking about for a second but then I realize she means that idiot Lukas.
Like I’m a piece of meat you don’t feel like finishing, like the last bit of a kebab that you can’t choke down so you leave it on the plate together with the dirty napkin and you get up and leave quickly and let kebab man clear it all away.
Bullshit I’m sure there’s another explanation, I say and then I think I must sound like that stupid police psychologist telling Jasna that there’s always another way out no matter what the problem.
Maybe he had to go somewhere this morning, I say.
Like where?
I have no idea, maybe he plays tennis or squash every Friday or does something with his family. People like Lukas always have big families. Or even if the family is small they all like each other so much that they always have to go to some birthday or funeral or one of those whatever you call them, you know, a baby shower.
Tomorrow he’s going to Lake Garda, says Jameelah, with Anna-Lena.
So call him.
I don’t have his fucking phone number.
Jameelah sighs.
I wish he would get terminally ill and realize on his deathbed that he loves me. I hope that when he dies they find a box hidden under his bed or someplace that has a photo of me in it, me cut out of that group photo from the ski trip you know, and a letter that he was too scared to give me and that I’m the last person he sees before he dies and he knows that I found the box.
I have to admit that I don’t really understand what she means with the box and all that, but I do know there is one thing I just can’t take, and that is when Jameelah is distraught. It’s hard to explain, but when she’s distraught the whole world seems to start trembling like in an earthquake and Jameelah who is like a tower, not just any tower, a famous tower and you know that as long as that tower is standing everything is alright, the other buildings and lesser towers can all crumble as long as that one tower, Jameelah, is still standing, and so I start racking my brain for the right thing to say to her now.
Jameelah says nothing, just sniffles now and again, but I’m so damn tired and my head is so empty and it’s so quiet on the other end of the line.
This is going to sound crazy, says Jameelah at some point, but will you cast a love spell with me tomorrow?
Sure, I say.
We have to be naked to do it.
Naked? Why?
Yeah you know there are very few love spells you can cast without hair or fingernails. But I did find one, it’s just that to do it you have to walk naked through a flower garden and throw rose petals, that’s it really. Oh, you also have to concentrate on your beloved and keep saying his name too. But no hair or anything weird like that, no ashes in a salad.
Where are we going to find a flower garden, I ask.
I thought we could do it at the playground, there’s a few flowers growing there.
Naked?
Yeah, it has to be at midnight anyway. I mean, otherwise it could be a bit difficult.
And what about the rose petals?
In the park, Tiergarten. We don’t need too many.
Okay I’ll do it with you.
Of course I’ll do it. I’ll do anything as long as it means Jameelah won’t be so distraught.
The next morning I ring the bell at Amir’s place but nobody answers. I ring it again and again until Tarik finally opens the door. He looks tired and it occurs to me that I haven’t seen him since the whole incident with Jasna happened.
Is Amir home, I ask.
Yeah but Amir can’t come out right now kiddo, Tarik says, Amir has to stay home and help me.
Can I talk to him for a second, it won’t take long.
No kiddo, that won’t work, says Tarik, really.
Has something happened?
No nothing happened. Go home, go out and enjoy your school break.
What about Amir?
Amir has other things to do right now.
I go back across the playground to our apartment.
What’s up, I wonder, why can’t Amir come out, it’s not really summer break if Amir isn’t around. Maybe Tarik is going to start locking Amir in the apartment too, no idea, but wait why would he. Tarik doesn’t mean us any harm, he’s just trying to keep the family together, that’s what Amir said, because Tarik’s the oldest and the oldest has to keep the family together, he said, but all I could think was what is there to hold together, honestly, everything’s already in tatters, even more so than with me or Jameelah.
Jameelah comes over in the evening. Mama phones Noura to tell her that Jameelah is staying over at our place. This time it’s actually true, at least halfway. We put on our pyjamas and cart a bunch of food into my room and then the doorbell rings and when I open it Amir is standing there.
Can I come in for a second, he says.
Man, I say, I tried you a thousand times.
I don’t have a lot of time, he says.
He looks pale and gaunt, the corners of his mouth are cracked, and the splotch under his eye is still blue. It looks like nothing on him can heal at the moment. He’s holding a Reebok shoebox that’s taped shut.
I want you to take care of this, he says, in case something happens to me or whatever you have to keep it for me.
What’s going to happen to you, come on don’t scare me.
It’s not about dying or whatever, everything’s fine. So you’ll take care of it for me?
It’s not about dying, what do you mean it’s not about dying, what are you talking about?
Settle down, says Amir, it was just an example, man, girls always panic straight away. I just want you to look after the box, don’t open it no matter what happens, just look after it. Will you do it?
Sure I’ll look after it, I say, but you can still tell me what’s up.
No matter what happens don’t open it. Promise.
I promise.
Don’t worry, says Amir, everything’s fine.
Right, everything’s fine, the hell it is, I say. But Amir just gets up, mumbles goodbye and leaves me standing there with the stupid shoebox. Jessi comes running out.
Who was it, she asks.
Nobody, get lost.
It was Amir, she says, I’m not stupid. What’s up with him, does he have AIDS or something? He looks so messed up.
No but you’re going to get AIDS if I hear about you hooking up with random boys at the swimming pool again.
What?
Anna-Lena told me at the pool the other day. I find out about everything, understand?