But he did not need anything from her any more and what he wanted he could win for himself.
She would just have to become accustomed to this new Li Sung.
"It's hard to believe," Ruel murmured as he watched Danor press his forehead against the bole of a young tree and push against it. "I've never seen this before. Amazing. . . "
Danor pushed again and the tree moved, the roots tore from the earth, and the tree toppled to the ground. Jane nodded. "Li Sung seems to be able to do anything with that elephant. I think we're going to be able to give you your railroad in those two months. We're up to almost five miles a day." She smiled with an effort. "I'm very grateful, of course."
"Are you?"
She turned to see Ruel's gaze fixed on her face. "Do i you doubt it?"
"Yes." He held up his hand. "Oh, I'm sure you're happy about the increase in production, but there's something wrong."
"What could be wrong?"
"Li Sung," Ruel said softly. "He doesn't need you anymore."
Pain twisted within her. "He never needed me. Li Sung was always completely independent."
"Not this independent. He relied on you for understanding and affection."
"We're still friends and friends always need each other."
"He's mad about that elephant and he's become accepted by the Cinnidans as he's never been accepted by any people."
"I know." She could hear the huskiness in her voice and swallowed. "And I'm happy for him."
"He's not going to want to leave the elephant or these people. If you leave Cinnidar, you'll have to go alone."
"And I suppose that pleases you."
"Yes, it does," Ruel admitted. "Because with Li Sung here, it gives you another reason to stay after the railroad is finished."
"I can't stay."
"You can do whatever you wish to do." He smiled. "I simply hope to make sure your wishes coincide with mine. And I think I'm getting closer to doing that every day."
He was getting closer. Since that evening by the fire he had never again touched her, but they worked together, ate together, strove toward a common goal. He was always there, helping her, encouraging her, sharing her problems and triumphs. Sometimes she felt so close to him that it was as if they were one person. She tried to change the subject. "Have you had a report from Med-ford lately?"
"This morning. He's almost reached the canyon floor. Another two days should do it." His gaze searched her face. "You look tired. How much rest have you been getting?"
"Enough."
He muttered a curse. "You said yourself you're ahead of schedule. Let me and Dilam and Li Sung shoulder the load for a while."
"Abdar will be—"
"And let me worry about Abdar."
She shook her head.
He stared at her in exasperation. "Damn, you're stubborn!"
He turned Nugget and kicked him into a gallop, leaving her in a cloud of dust as he headed back to the site.
He came riding back late that afternoon, leading Bedelia. "Come on," he said curtly. "I have something to show you."
"Can't it wait?" She wiped away the perspiration from her forehead on her sleeve. "We still have a few hours before dark."
"It won't wait," he said. "I've told Dilam to come back and supervise the crew until it's time to pack up for the day."
"But Li Sung needs Dilam with the elephants."
"Come on." His tone was inflexible and so was his expression. "Now."
It was clear he was not going to be dissuaded. She mounted Bedelia. "What's the problem? Where are we going?"
"You'll see." He spurred ahead, heading south. "Follow me."
At first she thought he was taking her to the clearing area where they'd been that morning, but before they got to it he veered to the east and took a trail through the jungle. Twenty minutes later they came out of the jungle on the bank of a lake.
"Here we are." He reined in Nugget in the feathery shade of a casuarina tree and slipped out of the saddle. "Get down."
"Where are we?" she asked blankly as she gazed around at the color and beauty shimmering wherever she looked. Scarlet poppies carpeted the banks, and across the lake flame-of-the-forest trees bloomed brilliant orange, casting fiery reflections in the cool, serene blue of the water. Farther down the opposite bank twenty or thirty elephants lazily cavorted in the shallows. "I don't understand. What am I supposed to see?"
He came around and lifted her off the horse. "Flowers, water, birds, elephants." He took a blanket off Nugget and spread it on the moss. "Me."
"You brought me here to look at scenery?"
"I brought you here to rest. Now do it."
"I don't want to rest."
"Do it anyway." He met her gaze. "You don't have to be wary of me. I was desperate the other evening. I thought I'd made a mistake somewhere along the way and I was trying to regain ground any way I could. I knew even then it wasn't the best way." Before she could answer he turned and pointed at the elephants across the lake. "Recognize anyone familiar?"
Her impatient glance followed his gesture. "I see elephants every day. I don't need to come here to—" Her eyes widened as she saw what he wanted her to see. "Caleb?"
"Caleb," he confirmed.
"I haven't seen him since we first arrived."
"Dilam told me that the cows often keep separate from the bulls, and Caleb would have had to stay with his adopted mother. I tracked him down last week."
"Why?"
"I was caught in my own trap. I took care of him." He smiled faintly. "Now he belongs to me. You should understand that."
"He's bigger," she said softly. Then she laughed as she saw him squirt another elephant with water. "And not nearly as docile."
"Don't you want to watch him for a while?" he asked coaxingly. "What's a few hours?"
She should go back. She glanced at Caleb again. "Well, maybe for a little while." She sat down on the blanket and linked her arms around her knees. "He's funny, isn't he?"
He sat down beside her, close, not touching her. "Very amusing."
Minutes passed and the tension gradually ebbed out of her. Three blue-breasted wild peacocks took heavy flight as the elephants moved farther down the shore, but the birds soon settled back to ground. No threat. No hurry. Just beauty and gentleness and affection. The soft breeze touched her cheeks, and the scent of flowers was all around her, pervading her senses.
"I can be amusing too," Ruel said, his gaze on Caleb. "If I put my mind to it."
"Running patterer . . ." she murmured.
"Aye, I can entertain you. I can take care of you. I can please your body." He added grimly, "And I'll never leave you for a damn elephant."
She was jarred from the euphoria by his words. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want to be Li Sung and Patrick and Caleb to you." He smiled crookedly. "More. I want to mean more to you than your blessed railroad. I'm saying I want to be the one to make you laugh and to give you children."
She gazed at him, startled.
"I'm saying that I—" He stopped and then said in an awkward rush—"love you." His breath expelled. "There, it's out, and damned difficult too. I hope you're satisfied."
Satisfied? At one time she would have given almost anything to hear him say those words, and even now they filled her with a bittersweet joy. "It's too late."