"To show what a brave and stalwart specimen I am. I understand it's considered the thing to do."
Her hand was shaking and she had to steady it before starting to wrap the cloth around his shoulder. "We'll have to think of another way to help Caleb. You can't go on like this."
"Yes, I can. I can do anything I have to do."
"It was my decision to bring Caleb. I can't let you suffer because—"
"I'm going to do it, Jane."
"Why?"
"Because then you'll know that every drop of blood I shed is for your sake." He held her gaze. "And every time you care for my wounds, it will bind you closer to me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You said it yourself, Jane. You're a caretaker." He looked down at her hands binding the bandage at his shoulder. "And when you take care of someone, they belong to you. I want to belong to you."
She stared at him in disbelief.
A sudden smile lit his face as he glanced at Caleb. "Besides, I like this little fellow. I'd do it even if I weren't courting you."
"Courting?" That word brought a rush of memories of that night on the veranda in Kasanpore. "We can't go back," she said stiltedly.
"I don't want to go back. I want a new start."
"We can't do that either." She finished tying the bandage and glanced at his left shoulder. The halter hadn't damaged it as much as the other, but he should have stopped long before this. His shoulders were rope-burned almost as badly as they had been after he had come up the slope from Lanpur Gorge dragging Ian behind him. No, that wasn't true, she recalled. His flesh had been in bloody rags then and she had—
"What's the matter?" Ruel's gaze was on her face. "What the hell is wrong now?"
"The halter," she whispered. "I just remembered Lanpur Gorge."
For a minute his expression hardened before he forced a smile. "You can't go back," he repeated her words. "So stop thinking about it."
She shook her head. "It's not possible."
"Everything is possible." He glanced at Caleb. "What were his chances of living two days ago?"
"Not much better than now." Li Sung came toward them, carrying the canteens. "I see he marked you. Truly his father's child." In spite of his harsh words, both his hands and expression were gentle as he knelt beside the baby and gently poured water into Caleb's mouth. "No doubt he will also grow into a killer rogue."
Jane was too weary and shaken to argue with Li Sung. And if she was weary, what must Ruel feel like? "Go to sleep," she told both of them as she went to her own blankets by the fire.
"I believe I'll do that." Ruel stretched out next to Caleb on the blanket and closed his eyes.
Jane frowned. "You can't sleep there."
"Watch me." He closed his eyes. "Too tired to move . . ."
"I'll make up your blankets for you."
"I'm fine . . ." He turned on his side. "Four hours. No more. We can't afford the time. We have to get Caleb to . . ." He trailed off, and Jane realized he had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
Li Sung soon followed him in slumber, but she lay there unable to sleep in spite of her weariness. Ruel's words and actions had thrown her into a turmoil of emotion—worry, tenderness, admiration, and a multitude of other fragmented feelings too dangerous to examine closely. Just when she had thought herself free of the mandarin, he had changed and become a man, a vulnerable man whom she was beginning to find . . . lovable.
Dear God, what was she doing searching her soul when she should be sleeping? she thought impatiently. She huddled down in her blankets and closed her eyes. The heat from the fire felt warm and soothing, the crackling of the logs a cozy song in the darkness.
But an early morning chill lingered in the air.
Ruel was several yards distant from the fire.
She got to her feet, grabbed one of her blankets, and marched over to where Ruel and Caleb were lying. Ruel was sleeping soundly, but Caleb opened his glowing eyes as she tucked the blanket over Ruel. The baby elephant's trunk lifted to touch her cheek. "Shh." She patted his head, got to her feet, and went back to her blanket by the fire.
Caretaker.
Well, what if she was? There was nothing wrong with sharing a blanket with someone who had sacrificed so much for her sake. Nothing wrong at all.
The crashing of shrubbery woke Jane, Ruel, and Li Sung from sleep on the second night of their trek back to the crossing. Jane opened her eyes to see Danor standing, looking at them from the edge of the trees. His eyes glittered in the campfire, and she had an uneasy memory of that moment on the tracks when she had thought the elephant a mad rogue.
Fear vanished as she saw Danor come slowly forward to stand over the stretcher by the fire where the baby elephant lay. His trunk curled around Caleb's neck and then began probing gently, inquiringly, at his body as he had at that of his dead mate's.
The baby was too weak now to do more than raise his head, his trunk seeking and then locking with Danor's.
The sight was inexpressibly touching, and Jane felt the tears burn her lids.
Then Danor disentangled his trunk, backed away, and lumbered past the fire and into the jungle.
Li Sung said sourly, "He disturbs our sleep and then leaves it to us to care for his child. We will probably not see him again."
"He went in the direction of the crossing," Ruel pointed out.
"So he's rejoining the herd. That does not mean we will see him again." Li Sung lay down again and closed his eyes. "Which will be the most fortuitous circumstance occurring since we arrived in Cinnidar."
Jane shook her head in resignation as she pulled her blanket around her shoulders. She had never seen Li Sung as stubborn as he was being about the bull elephant. He was wrong. She knew Danor had been concerned about the baby.
He was not the only one concerned. Her gaze went to the baby elephant. He was growing weaker. They had been feeding him water to assuage his hunger, but how long could he live without nourishment?
"He'll live."
She turned to see Ruel's gaze on her face.
"Will he?" she whispered. "Even if we reach the herd in time to save him, we might not find a nursing cow who will accept him."
"Then I'll ride up to the Cinnidar village and bring back some goats for milking."
In spite of her concern, she had to chuckle at the unlikely thought of Ruel as shepherd. "It would take an entire herd to feed him."
"Then I'll bring a herd."
Her laughter faded as she met his gaze. She had no doubt he would do it. His patience and determination in caring for Caleb had been a great comfort to her in the past two days. "You may have to."
"Will you please cease your chatter?" Li Sung asked. "It is enough that Danor has burdened us with his offspring, you do not have to talk about him all night."
"Do you like it?" Margaret's eager gaze searched Ian's face. "I couldn't manage the Glenclaren coat of arms, so I just settled for your initials and a stalk of heather."
"It's very fine." Ian gently touched the gold seal with his index finger. "And just what I wanted. A coat of arms would have been much too grand for me."
"Nothing's too grand for you." She sat down on the stool beside his chair. "Are you not the laird? I had to do it twice. I ruined the first one. Naturally, that heathen Kartauk didn't have the courtesy to tell me I was erring and made me do the entire process over. He said you always learn better from your mistakes."