“Are you worried about me?” he mocked.
“I just don’t want you to die before I get a chance to kill you for spilling my secrets to Riona and Garret.” I crossed my arms and frowned.
He smiled and hugged me.
I didn’t return the gesture, even if I appreciated the contact. “Please, just be careful.”
“Always am,” he said into my ear before letting go. “Are you sure I can’t convince you not to go?”
I shook my head. “Short of tying me up like Dillan suggested, no.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“Let’s get a move on,” Garret boomed. Riona unfolded herself from the chair, carefully setting Constantinople down, and joined her husband.
Dillan made a move toward the foyer along with the rest of them.
I hurried to his side. “We need to talk.”
He stopped and gave me a hard stare.
“You guys coming?” Kyle asked from the front door.
“Go on ahead. We’ll be five minutes,” Dillan answered him without breaking eye contact with me.
Chapter Forty-Three
Dillan
Tell Me Your Secret
The Fates really had it in for him. He cursed them as he led Selena through the terrace double doors. The cold night breeze barely registered when he took a deep, bracing breath of it. His feet kept going until he reached the banister. He couldn’t have the conversation he was about to have in the car. Being in closed quarters would only make the feeling of his world closing in on him worse. His breathing already went from calm to hard and deep while he stared up at the Hunter’s Moon. Ironic really. The night he’d be facing down hordes of puppets would be the brightest night of the year.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what?” he asked, not looking away from the moon. The night Katarina was taken was a full moon, too. He hated the similarities. When this all started, he aimed for repentance. To regain his status within the Illumenari. He wouldn’t have believed anyone if they’d told him he’d find redemption in attempting the very act that got him banished in the first place. Oh the Fates were cruel bitches.
“For not telling you.” Her words pulled him back to the present he currently didn’t want to be in.
“Everybody has secrets, Selena. This town more than most, apparently.” He would have laughed at the absurdity of it if not for the seriousness of their situation.
She turned to face him. “You’re very calm about this.”
“I’m not calm.”
He felt her eyes rake down his body. By now she would have noticed his tight lips. The tension on his shoulders. His clenched fists. He’d punch the banister if he didn’t have to conserve his strength. He knew they’d go balls to the wall at Greenwood and would need every ounce of energy he had. In the heat of battle he could lose himself. But right now he barely kept it together.
“I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner,” he spat out.
“How could you? Only my friends and family know. I’ve kept it that way since I had my first vision.” She paused. “Sebastian told me Katarina can do the same thing. That you were her Guardian.”
“You know, when I said I would protect you, I didn’t think it would come to this.” He hissed, reminding himself to gut the mangy mutt. Breathing out some of his anger, he made the decision to tell Selena everything. She had the right to know. If he died tonight at least someone else would know why. Why he’d failed.
“Katarina and I were stationed with my parents in Turkey.” He concentrated on the sky, letting the vastness make him feel small. “She got a lead on a case we’d been following for some time. I won’t bore you with the details. Long story short, she had a vision about Budapest.” With each sentence that fell out of his lips, his fingernails dug deeper into his palms. “I told her we should wait for Sebastian for back up. The hellhound had been conducting surveillance for my dad. But Katarina insisted we go.”
“Why?”
In his periphery, he saw her reach out. She stopped before her hand touched his arm and pulled back. He silently thanked her for that. He couldn’t handle being touched right now and the shock that came with it.
“She would have gone by herself,” he continued through his teeth. “She is…was reckless that way.”
“Maybe she’s still alive somewhere.”
“She might as well be dead.” He looked at her then. “I’m sure Sebastian told you what Guardians are supposed to do when all options of escape are exhausted.”
She nodded.
He returned his gaze to the moon. “We ran into an alley across from Hero’s Square. Katarina didn’t let me check to see if everything was safe before she entered. It was a trap. We were surrounded in seconds. I fought hard to keep her safe.” His throat closed when he swallowed down the bitter lump there.
“I’m sure you did everything you could.”
Something in her words pushed him to step toward her. He grabbed her arms. Her eyes grew wider than the moon. She barely breathed. He leaned in and said, “The one thing I needed to do and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to stab her heart with my sword. I let her down, I let my family down.” He let her go and turned away, ashamed of the welling in his eyes. He blinked the rising tide away. “The next thing I know, I’m waking up in that alley alone, badly wounded. They’d taken her. I know what you want from me, Selena. But I won’t do it,” he said grimly. “I don’t want your blood on my hands.”
“It might not come to that,” she whispered. “Think of it as a last resort. We’ll try saving Penny first.”
“You say that like it’s easy. We’re walking into a battlefield against hundreds, if not thousands, of corpses and a really powerful Maestro. It’s a suicide mission.”
“Dillan” —she touched his rigid forearm— “I’d rather die than be captured by Ormand. But I am not going to stand by while he still has Penny.”
He whirled around to look at her. He didn’t like the determination in her eyes, like she’d already made her peace with dying. “For what you’re asking me? There isn’t a prison sentence long enough to make up for it. You’ve got to know that.”
“I already had a vision of my death. It’s only a matter of time now,” she said with more courage than he thought she was capable of having.
“Selena…”
“You’re the only one who knows,” she continued. “Well, Sebastian knows. He was in the vision. Long story.” She raised a hand to stop him from commenting. “It’s gonna happen. How exactly? I’m not sure. But it’s better if you help out.”
“Selena—”
“I know I’m asking you for a lot. It’s not every day that someone puts her life in your hands, but I’m trusting you with mine. I have to trust that you can do for me what you couldn’t do for Katarina.” He saw her heart in her eyes. “You can do this. Just think of all the times I’ve annoyed you and focus on that.”
“Selena, dammit, don’t joke about this.”
“I’m counting on you. If you care about me, even just a little, you won’t let Ormand take me alive.”
Unable to take the distance between them any longer, he hugged her. How could he not? The resulting shock became second nature now. And even if the voltage fried him, it wouldn’t stop him from touching her. She reached up and closed her hands around his forearms. He stood still, letting her body heat comfort him. He ran through all the possible scenarios. When he finally let her go, he knew what he had to do.
Chapter Forty-Four
Selena
Sticks and Stones and Graveyard Bones
Just outside the gates of Greenwood, Dillan put his game face on. He summoned his sword from his leather cuff and said, “Whatever happens, stay behind me. Look only at my back. Stop when I stop, run when I run.”