The pattern also gave me a chance to travel, which in some ways was just as important. Tsunade never stayed in one place for long, and the slightest change could send her haring off in an unexpected direction. I got to see most of Fire Country in those loops — or at least, most of the bars, casinos and hot springs in Fire Country. It was a lot of fun seeing so many new things, especially after spending so long stuck in Konoha.
I suppose I was also growing up a bit, because their reactions to me slowly changed over the repeats. At first I was only interested in Tsunade’s techniques, and she seemed alternately amused and annoyed by my eagerness. But each time around I learned a little more about my teacher and her faithful companion, and she was such a font of knowledge it took years for me to absorb it all. Somewhere along the way Tsunade stopped being a caricature of a gambling addict, and became a real person to me.
It was painful to really see her. Once she was the most promising kunoichi in the elemental countries, a legendary medic-nin whose discoveries promised to revolutionize medicine. Now she was reduced to a broken wreck of a woman, hiding from a past too painful to remember and a future too bleak to contemplate. Her whole family gave their lives for Konoha in one way or another, and she’d given years of service in the field despite the fact that anyone with a brain would have wanted her running the hospital instead. But when her growing hemaphobia left her unfit for duty she was ostracized by most of the village, and forced into retirement. Now she survived on a pension arranged by a guilty Hokage, and a few investments Shizune had somehow managed to hide from her. But she was still an incredible ninja, and when she managed to set aside her pain she could still do things that amazed me.
“I wish there was more I could do for her.” I confided to Shizune one evening after Tsunade had collapsed in a drunken stupor. “I don’t know how you’ve done this for so long.”
“You’ve helped more than you realize.” She answered softly. “This life was killing her before we met you. I think it gives her hope, to teach another young prodigy. You remind her of herself when she was young, you know.”
I ought to, since I’d spent a dozen loops learning how to show just enough resemblance without going overboard enough to be suspicious. For a moment there I actually felt guilty about it. Then I saw the way Shizune was looking at Tsunade, and many things suddenly became clear.
“You love her.” It wasn’t a question.
She froze.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell. I can see how awkward that would be. Besides, if she hasn’t seen it by now…”
“She doesn’t want to.” Shizune whispered. “She’s so lonely. But she’s lost everyone she ever loved, and she doesn’t dare take another chance. Besides which, she’s only interested in men.”
“I wonder…”
Teaching Tsunade the Sexy Technique was not one of my better ideas. The result was three days of drunken debauchery that reduced poor Shizune to tears. Then one morning Tsunade woke up surrounded by the remnants of the last night’s orgy, and stopped her own heart. Note to self: using mind-affecting jutsu on people with mental problems is dangerous. Don’t try it unless you actually know what you’re doing.
Of course, I didn’t spend all my time studying with Tsunade. I did a lot of snooping while I tried to get that pattern down, digging through confidential personnel files and the Hokage’s mission records in search of information that might help. At first it was fun ferreting out village secrets, especially once I learned how to avoid getting interrogated by ANBU. For a ninja village Konoha’s security really sucks.
But the more of Konoha’s secrets I learned, the less fun it became.
I learned that the Hyuuga kept members of the branch house in virtual slavery with a seal that could kill them on command. The current clan head was pitting Hinata and Hanabi against each other in a contest to see which one would inherit, and which would become her sister’s slave. If TenTen ever did land Neji they’d put the seal on her the day after the wedding. But the whole thing was an A-rank secret, and anyone who warned her would face prison or execution.
I learned that Anko was permanently barred from promotion because she was once Orochimaru’s apprentice. Never mind that he used her as an experimental subject and then abandoned her because she wasn’t psychotic enough for him. Never mind that she was more than qualified to be a jounin, and she’d done more to prove her loyalty than anyone else in the village. She was marked expendable and sent out on all the dirtiest missions, the kind even most ninja would refuse. She didn’t have that option. She always carried out her orders, at god knows what cost to her soul, and when she returned with her hands covered in the blood of innocents the clan elders took it as more proof of her dangerous insanity.
I learned that the Fourth Hokage, one of my personal heroes, defeated the Kyuubi by sealing it inside an infant. Worse, the infant was Naruto! No one was sure what effect being a prison for the most powerful of the bijuu might have on a young boy, so what did they do? They warned civilians to keep their distance, left him to live alone, and had ANBU keep an eye on him 24/7. No wonder the adults always seemed cold to him — they were afraid he’d be possessed by the monster that almost destroyed Konoha!
I was starting to hate my own village, and that wasn’t even the worst of it. I’d been reading the low-security records, the ones that dealt with things that were too well-known to be kept secret from professional spies. The Hokage’s high-security vault was protected by seals I had no clue how to bypass.
But it was big enough to hold thousands of horror stories.
“The worst of it is, we really are the good guys. The nice ninja village, where academy graduates don’t have to murder their classmates to become genin and teams hardly ever get executed for failing a mission. Can you imagine what it must be like to grow up in Stone, or Mist?”
No wonder so many ninja go crazy. Maybe we shouldn’t be so eager to get out of the loop.
“Maybe not.” I shook my head, and downed another shot of stolen sake. “I think I understand Jiraiya and Tsunade better now. But just because they’ve given up doesn’t mean I will.”
Hell no. When Naruto is Hokage things are going to be different.
“You really believe in him, don’t you?”
Don’t you?
I thought about the boy I’d known in the academy, and what he’d done on the mission to Wave. Then I thought about the young man who’d described Gaara as a ‘big teddy bear’, and talked casually about becoming strong enough to beat an enemy who could raise the dead.
“Yes. I do.”
That’s the spirit! When we get out of this thing he’s going to become Hokage, and we’re going to be his Sage-level partner. We’ll build a better Konoha together, if we have to kill every one of these old bastards to do it.
After so many depressing discoveries I really needed some fun. Fortunately there were lots of possibilities close to home for that…
“Ino, now that we’re friends again will you teach me that that possession technique of yours?”
“No way! That a clan secret, Sakura!”
“I’ll teach you my Sexy Technique if you’ll show me your possession technique.”
“Oh, I wish I could, but that’s a clan secret. How about my Hair Animation instead?”
“Heaven Viewing Technique!”