He looked way, and something deep inside me cringed. He was going to do it to me again? Over and over for a month? There’d be nothing left of me.I realized in horror that this was one thing the loops wouldn’t fix. But what could I do? Just the thought of resisting was enough to make me sick with fear. Actually doing anything would be impossible.
“Sometimes the fight with Orochimaru goes badly.” He went on. “So just in case, here are your orders. First, stop bothering the other version of me. I’m not interested in a weakling like you, and I never will be. Keep studying medicine, but stop being so squeamish about it. Do whatever it takes to learn everything Tsunade knows, and then work your way through the Konoha staff doing the same thing. Quit wasting your time with Anko, and get serious with your taijutsu training. When we find that man you’re going to deal with whatever minions he’s acquired, so I’ll be fresh when I get the chance to kill him.”
“Oh, and stay the hell out of this fight. Orochimaru is tricky enough without you wandering around in the way.”
“Yes, sir.” I spotted a flash of orange approaching through the trees, and wondered why the other member of Team Seven was still his usual exuberant self. “What about Naruto?” If Sasuke did this to me, why not him too?
“Fuck Naruto.”
Yes, sir, Master asshole sir. Every chance I get.
The rebellious voice was barely a whisper. I started, and opened my mouth to tell Master it was still there. But he was already turning to go, and hadn’t noticed my reaction.
It was Anko’s training that made the difference. If I didn’t tell I’d be punished when he found out. If I did I’d be re-trained, which was worse punishment mixed with rewards. But the mindless euphoria of Master’s rewards was far less addicting than the sensual pleasures Anko had introduced me too, and I’d been training to resist even those. With an effort that made me break out in a cold sweat I held my silence.
Half an hour later Orochimaru found us.
He ignored me just as he usually did, so staying out of the fight was easy enough. Sasuke fought him with cool precision, wielding fire and lighting against the sanin’s snakes and trickery. I wondered why he didn’t use the Mangekyou Sharingan to win the fight.
Guess even that wouldn’t work on the amazing snake ninja.
Naruto was blundering around with his usual clumsy enthusiasm, and about to get smashed through a tree by a giant snake for his trouble. It still amazes me how much punishment that boy can survive. I’d be a bloody smear after a hit like that.
Wait. I hadn’t actually been ordered to stay alive, had I?
I cringed. No, I knew what Master wanted me to do. If I pissed him off he’d punish me again, even worse than before. God only knows what he’d come up with after fuming about it for a few hundred loops.
Would you rather be his slave?
I swallowed heavily. Naruto was thirty feet away, standing in front of a massive tree and bracing to meet the giant snake’s charge. An easy target for a substitution technique.
Then I was the one in front of the snake, and Naruto was perched safely on a higher branch. I had a split second to see the surprise in his eyes before I was flattened against unyielding wood.
“So long, legendary sucker. Come back when you’ve got more money!”
“So, we’re broke again. I suppose that means we’re back to sleeping in a field?” Shizune commented.
“I’ll pay for rooms.” I said softly as I faded out of the shadows. “I’ll pay for rooms, and drinks, and gambling if you want. Whatever it takes. Just tell me that you know a way to treat brainwashing, Tsunade-sama.”
I must have been an odd sight, in my natural form with all my hair shaved off. The slug sanin eyed me curiously. “That’s not easy, kid. What kind?”
“P-pleasure/pain conditioning inflicted with the Tsukuyomi technique. That’s several subjective days of… of complete control over the victim’s senses. Although h-he was a lot better with the punishment than the rewards.”
She whistled. “Those damned Uchiha and their super-eyes. I’m surprised you’re even asking about this. Most villages would just dispose of the victim.”
I closed my eyes, fighting against the desire to run away. I wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Master would make me tell him about it, and then he’d punish me.
“Unfortunately, suicide is not an option.” I whispered.
Dead silence. After a long moment I felt Tsunade’s hand on my chin, tilting my face up. I met her gaze as calmly as I could, considering the fear of being re-trained was so strong I was starting to tremble.
“Let me get this straight. Itachi brainwashed you with his Mangekyo Sharingan, but you somehow managed to break free enough to come to me for help?”
I shook my head. “Not Itachi. Younger, careless. Be quiet, don’t make trouble, do as I’m told. Do whatever it takes to get more medical training. Please, Tsunade-sama, teach me how to undo brainwashing.” I was losing it, but I tried to explain as best I could.
“Damn. You must have been one hell of a kunoichi, kid. Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.”
Unfortunately even her best methods were painfully slow. Block the victim’s memory of the event, bring one tiny bit to the surface and deal with it, then on to the next bit. Pick one tiny disobedience and repeat it until the fear is gone, then pick a slightly larger one and start again. I learned her memory suppression techniques easily enough, but even after a full loop I wasn’t much recovered. It would take years to get anywhere like that, and without the excuse of training I didn’t think I could bring myself to ask her for help again.
I spent a short loop crying myself to sleep every night and trying to think of another option that wasn’t completely insane. Meanwhile I trained twelve hours a day, avoided Sasuke while slavishly obeying any order he happened to give, and tried to convince Naruto to sleep with me.
Yeah, I know he hadn’t really meant that as an order. But I’d taken it as one just to spite him, and now I seemed to be stuck with it. Poor Naruto didn’t know what to do when I suddenly started coming on to him. I suppose he would have been happy with dates and kisses, but I could never make myself stop there. A kiss would lead to a grope, a little fondling, a hand pressed to my breasts. Then he’d realize something was wrong, decide I was an imposter, and run off looking for Kakashi to find the real Sakura.
It was embarrassing the first time few times, but it was also funny. I suppose in a way it was poetic justice. He’d chased me futilely for so long, and now our positions were reversed.
The hospital was a bust. I couldn’t approach Anko. Jiraiya was no help. I was desperate enough to consider Orochimaru at this point, but if he had techniques that could help he’d just brainwash me himself. What did that leave?
The Hokage monument had somehow become my retreat for serious thinking, and I sat atop one of the great stone heads for long hours one afternoon. Once again, it seemed, I’d found a problem no one could help me with.
“Can I really do this myself? Tsunade’s techniques are too slow, too painful. I’d never make it through. What I really need is a whole new approach. Something to let me edit my own memories, or just erase the conditioned responses. But I’ve never heard of a technique like that.”
So invent it.
I considered the idea. It was a challenge, yes, but not inconceivable. I could see a dozen ways to approach the problem, and I hadn’t been ordered not to. But Master wouldn’t like it.
If we succeed, he’ll never be able to punish us again. Even if he catches us again somehow, I bet even being under the Tsukuyomi can’t stop us from using a suicide technique.