“Perhaps,” Hinata allowed. “But if he had trained you properly before the exams neither of you would have needed special help as this point.”
“But he did. Don’t you see, Hinata? Any idiot can teach a genin some flashy technique to blow stuff up with. Kakashi thought he’d have years before we had to face ninja wars and S-rank opponents, so he chose to start with something much harder. He tried to teach us to be good people. We practiced teamwork and tactics and insight, the true essentials of the ninja arts, and in between he tried to show us how to live our lives as ninja without becoming monsters the way so many others have. Do you know, I still find myself quoting him sometimes?”
Hinata cocked her head at me. “Does this mean you’ve decided you like having him as your jounin sensei after all?”
“Oh, hell no!” I shot back. “I’d take Asuma or Anko over him any day. I’m just saying I don’t blame him so much anymore. I feel kind of bad for him, actually.”
“Yeah, he’s not a happy person,” Naruto agreed. “Maybe we should set him up with Anko or something?”
“No way!” I protested. “The last thing Anko needs is some moody guy dragging her down all the time. Besides, after I give her memories back I don’t think she’s going to be interested.”
“Wait, what? What kind of memories are we talking about?”
“I think Sakura wants her as a retainer for our clan,” Hinata clarified. Then she paused, and put a finger to her chin. “Well, that or she’s collecting a harem.”
I chuckled. “If I was collecting a harem I’d have, like, six of you by now. Hmm. Heaping piles of cuddly Hinatas. That does sound kind of appealing…”
My demon aspect stepped through the portal behind me, her Sharingan eyes spinning. I checked my aura, pushing a few stray wisps of blue chakra to her so I could go pure gold as I sat on the throne.
The login prompt popped up, and I tapped the help button. A screen showing Astoria’s face appeared.
“You know, Sakura, we were expecting you to let each of your alternate-universe doubles take care of her own world. How many times are you planning to do this?”
“None of them will be able to meet the requirements for months, even if I help them,” I pointed out. “I don’t feel like making all my younger selves into assassination targets.”
My account popped up, and I set up a request to reactivate the Blessing of Heaven on yet another world. The little dashboard display on my home screen said I had responsibility for forty-seven alternate versions of my world so far, but I had a long way to go.
“We’re going to make the most of this opportunity, Astoria,” my demon self put in. “I figure there’s a few hundred worlds I can reach in a single jump from home, and we’re going to hit them all. Plus the ones we can reach through our overself, of course. Can’t have any of the mini-me’s getting dragged into hell before they have a chance to grow up.”
“But… but… that’s so against the rules!” Astoria protested weakly.
I shrugged. “Now you know why I didn’t agree to follow them. Besides, you’ll notice your boss isn’t doing anything to stop me.”
“Good point,” Astoria admitted reluctantly.
I finished my demonstration of the basic academy techniques for Ebisu, performing each of them with a single hand seal and my usual flawless precision.
“Very good,” he nodded thoughtfully. “Sharp, fast, excellent chakra control. You might even be able to internalize that last seal with practice.”
I frowned in carefully faked confusion, and he sighed. “Like this.”
He body flickered across the clearing and back in a little swirl of leaves, without resorting to a seal.
“Ooh! That’s neat, sensei. They never mentioned that was possible at the academy. Let’s see…”
I copied his body flicker, with my signature swirl of sakura petals instead of leaves. He looked fairly astonished.
“I didn’t realize you knew the Body Flicker technique,” he began.
“Is that what it’s called?” I asked innocently. “I didn’t, sensei. I just copied what you did.”
“You’re a chakra sensor?” He asked. “But why wasn’t that in your file?”
I shrugged. “I always got a perfect score on my awareness tests, sensei. Does that mean something?”
“Perhaps,” he replied. “Can you copy this?”
He stepped out onto the little pond in the training area. I watched his feet for a moment, and followed him out.
He did a couple of hand seals, and spat a little fireball into the water. I smiled, and did the same thing without the seals.
He frowned, and cast a dispel. I cocked my head, and chewed my bottom lip cutely.
“That didn’t do anything, sensei. Well, it made a chakra pulse, so… oh, I get it! That’s for dispelling fragile chakra constructs like illusions, right?”
Three hours later the poor man was convinced I was the bearer of some unknown Sharingan-like bloodline, and wondering how Kakashi had missed it.
“Anko, what would it take to convince you to teach me some of your ‘H’ techniques?”
The busty assassin lowered her dango and eyed me suspiciously. “Aren’t you a little young for that, kid? Where’d you hear about that anyway?”
“I’m an infiltration specialist. Who do you think I practice on? As for the age thing: Sexy Technique!” I posed, and nearly fell out of my top as it stretched to contain my new assets. “Oops. See why I need training? I’ve got some neat genjutsu I can trade if it makes a difference.”
She snickered. “Cute. There’s more to infiltration that having boobs, kid, and enemy ninja aren’t like the boys at the academy. But I’ll give you a shot. Give me your best come-on. If you can get me in the mood in five minutes I’ll take you home and give you a few pointers.” She leaned back in her chair and reached for a dango stick, obviously expecting me to be too chicken to make a pass at another woman in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I slipped into her lap with a chuckle, and gave her an affectionate kiss. That was as good a time as any to restore her memories.
She stared at me in slack-jawed amazement as I pulled away. “What… the hell?”
“Time jutsu,” I told her with a grin. “It’s all real. I’ve got a better fix for your little problem now, if you’re still interested in our deal?”
“Minx,” she teased. “Of course I am. Wait, does this mean the invasion…”
I put my finger to her lips. “Yep. We’re taking care of it. But first, I’ve got a fiancé to introduce you to.”
Jiraiya sighed as his note-taking was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
“Go away.” He whispered. “I’m busy with my research.”
“I bet we’ve got better ‘research material’ than they do, Jiraiya-sama.” Replied a sultry female voice.
He just about dropped his notebook when he turned around. Naruto was in Sexy mode and looking hotter than ever, while I was wearing my best teenage sex kitten look. We’d changed into tight tank-tops and very short skirts, but kept our forehead protectors and shuriken pouches.
“I’m Sakura.” I said in my best ‘sweet little schoolgirl’ voice. “And this is Naruto. We’re genin teammates, and very close friends. But our sensei left us all alone to go train our teammate, and we’re just desperate for an instructor to help us pass the chuunin exam. Do you know anyone who can help us?”
He stared. He drooled. Then he processed what I’d said, and broke down laughing. “Oh, that’s funny. You girls have me pegged, that’s for sure. But I can’t believe your sensei would leave students with this kind of talent high and dry.”