Naruto rolled her eyes. “Kakashi’s too busy making sure that Sand guy doesn’t kill Sasuke to bother with us. He pawned us off on some looser who wants us to spend the whole month reviewing academy stuff.”
“Yeah.” I interjected. “Never mind that Naruto’s got enough chakra to lift the Hokage monument, and I’m beating Tsunade-sama’s record for instant jutsu mastery. Come on, give us a break. We can leave clones with our so-called instructor, so no one will even have to know. We’ll even keep the fan-service outfits!”
He chuckled. “Isn’t Naruto supposed to be a boy?”
“It’s a transformation technique,” she replied.
“Yeah, it turns the subject into a sexy girl. I still can’t believe he came up with that. Although since I’m already a girl, sometimes it makes me feel a little too sexy…” I snuggled against Naruto-chan’s side and nuzzled her neck affectionately. “Mmmm, yum.”
Naruto chuckled, and squeezed my butt. “Not now, Sakura-chan. We can do that kind of training later.”
Jiraiya chortled.
“Alright girls. I can see it’s my duty as Konoha’s most amazing ninja to rectify this terrible oversight. But if you want my training you’ll have to promise to do your best, dress properly and stay in those forms the whole time. Oh, and you’re definitely going to teach me that technique.”
I grinned. I wasn’t sure why Naruto cared about the toad summoning contract, but getting him a chance to sign it wasn’t exactly torture.
“The medics don’t have any idea?” Yugao said anxiously.
Hayate shook his head. “Not really. They’re calling it a spontaneous remission, which just means they don’t know. But whatever reason, my lungs are completely normal now.”
“They’re sure?” She pressed. “It’s not just a temporary improvement?”
“No, they were definite about that. I haven’t been able to breathe like this in years, Yugao. I think, for once, I’ve actually gotten lucky.”
“I’m glad,” she replied. Then, hesitantly, “You aren’t on duty for a few hours, right?”
“Well, no, but I was thinking I mmph…”
Her kiss interrupted him mid-word. A moment later he was kissing her back, and their hands were fumbling with each other’s clothes. I slipped silently away from the window with a smile. A little nudge here and there, a little extra dose of hormones for them both, and Hayate wouldn’t be in the wrong place at the wrong time tonight. One less casualty for the war that was coming.
“So long, legendary sucker. Come back when you’ve got more money!”
“So, we’re broke again. I suppose that means we’re back to sleeping in a field?” Shizune commented.
“No need for that,” I commented as I faded out of the shadows. I was in my adult form with my chakra pure gold, and the dress I wore had a marked resemblance to those elegant impossibilities Astoria favored. Shizune gave me a once-over and dismissed me as a civilian, but the surprise that showed momentarily on Tsunade’s face confirmed that she saw deeper than that.
“Who are you?” She asked carefully.
“My name must remain unspoken for now,” I replied. “But I am exactly what you suspect, and I owe you a tremendous favor for an incident you don’t even remember. I’d like to repay you, if I may. There are a couple of fellows who would like a few words with you, if you’re willing to leave the mortal plane temporarily to see them.”
Shizune frowned at me uncertainly. Tsunade gasped.
“You can’t be serious,” she protested.
“I can, and I am,” I told her. “Such things aren’t impossible to arrange. It just cost me a few favors. I promise to have you back here by sunrise, if you’ll come with me.”
“I… yes,” she said uncertainly. “Please. But if this is some kind of trick…”
“You’ll flatten me? I should hope so,” I said easily. “Come on, then. Your apprentice can come as well, if you like.”
I took both their hands, and pulled them bodily into the fringes of my mindscape. I’d created a pleasant little clearing there, where Dan and Nawaki were waiting for us.
Astoria had made me promise not to resurrect them before she’d agree to arrange that for me. She was getting to know me a little too well by now. But I was pretty sure they’d both tell Tsunade to quite moping around and do something with her life, and it would give me an evening to chat with Shizune about her own situation. After that, arranging for Tsunade to be in Konoha during the invasion would be a snap.
Which would save a lot of lives, and give my old sensei her own life back again.
My opponent in the final round was Shikamaru. I beat him the same way I always did when I wanted to get an extended loop, with grace and style and perfect mastery of a few basic techniques.
Naruto and Hinata drew each other, which made for an interesting match. Naruto showed off his clones and henge transformation and inhuman endurance, mobbing her as an army of monsters no two of which were the same. She kicked her taijutsu up a notch, abandoning normal jyuuken in favor of jounin-level staples like Heavenly Spin and Twin Dragons Fist. By the time they were done anyone with a brain must have been wondering why they hadn’t been promoted years ago, though Naruto carefully kept himself within the limits of what could be explained by a month of aggressive clone training.
Of course, in the end she let him win. He managed to get her wrapped up in the coils of a snake-like monster form, and she pretended to be pinned instead of breaking out one of her S-rank escape techniques. Naruto gently closed his jaws around her head, and the referee called the match. They bounced back up to the contestant’s box hand in hand, and we settled down to watch Sasuke’s match.
It was kind of eerie how little variation there was in that fight from one loop to the next. A few minutes of fighting, a chidori drawing blood, and suddenly it was show time.
Kabuto’s massive sleep genjutsu fell over the crowd, and we did nothing for five precious seconds as the infiltrators scattered all around the stadium dropped their disguises and moved to begin their slaughter. Then Naruto slammed down a dispel with the power of a bijuu behind it, and blew the whole thing away.
I nodded to Hinata, and she vanished in a swirl of mist as Naruto grabbed my hand. We arrived at the Hokage’s box just as the Sound Four’s barrier jutsu sprang into being, and some idiot in an ANBU uniform got himself incinerated trying to jump through it.
“You sure this will work?” Naruto asked me.
“Piece of cake,” I reassured him. I triggered my heaven seal, eyed the structure of their barrier for a moment, and raised my voice in song.
The flow of chakra through the barrier technique abruptly reversed itself. The Sound ninja maintaining it screamed in unison as purple flames suddenly crackled around them, and the barrier collapsed as they passed out.
Naruto sent a wave of monster clones charging at Orochimaru, who’d barely had a chance to get warmed up. The Snake Sanin threw out one of his usual area techniques to clear them away, but a lot of Naruto’s clones were durable enough to survive a momentary burst of flame. For a moment the Sanin was trapped in melee, and found himself much harder-pressed than expected. Naturally he body flickered to safety…
…and I tracked his teleport and landed next to him with my presence already suppressed. I had a kunai in his kidney and another cutting his throat before he even knew I was there. Then I kicked him into the air as he started his creepy crawl-out-of-my-own-mouth resurrection technique.