For example, ten thousand seconds after reveille is eight forty-six forty A.M. Once David worked out his conversion table and memorized it-took him less than a day; just memorizing was easy for him-once he had that down pat, he could, convert to the hundred-second interval coming up next almost instantly, then add (not subtract) two digits representing the time still to go to the last two places in his rough answer to get his exact answer. Since the last two places were always zeroes-check it yourself-he could give an answer in millions of seconds as fast as he could speak the figures, and have it right every time.
Since he didn't explain his method, he got a reputation for being a lightning calculator, an idiot-savant talent, like Libby. He was not; he was simply a country boy who used his head on a simple problem. But his squad leader got so groused at him for being a "smart ass"-meaning that the squad leader couldn't do it-that he ordered Dave to memorize the logarithm tables. This didn't faze Dave; he didn't mind anything but "honest work." He set out to do so, twenty new ones each day, that being the number this first classman thought would suffice to show up this "smart ass."
The first classman grew tired of the matter when David had completed only the first six hundred figures-but Dave kept at it another three weeks through the first thousand-which gave him the first ten thousand figures by interpolation and made him independent of log tables, a skill that was of enormous use to him from then on, computers being effectively unknown in those days.
But the unceasing barrage of questions did not bother 'David save for the possibility of starving to death at meal times- and he learned to shovel it in fast while sitting rigidly at attention and still answer all questions flung at him. Some were trick questions, such as, "Mister, are you 'a virgin?" Either way a plebe answered he was in trouble-if he gave a straight answer. In those days some importance was placed on virginity or the lack of it; I can't say why.
But trick questions called for trick answers; Dave found that an acceptable answer to that one was: "Yes, sir-in my left ear." Or possibly his belly button.
But most trick questions were intended to trap a plebe into giving a meek answer-and meekness was a mortal sin. Say a first classman said, "Mister, would you say I was handsome?"-an acceptable answer would be, "Perhaps your mother would say so, sir-but not me." Or "Sir, you are the handsomest man I ever saw who was intended to be an ape."
Such answers were chancy-they might flick a first classman on the raw-but they were safer than meek answers. But no matter how carefully a plebe tried to meet impossible standards, about once a week some first clansman would decide that he needed punishment-arbitrary punishment without triaclass="underline" This could run from mild, such as exercises repeated to physical collapse-which David disliked as they reminded him of "honest work"-up to paddling on the buttocks. This may strike you as nothing much, Ira, but I'm not speaking' of paddling children sometimes receive. These beatings were delivered with the flat of a sword or with a worn-out broom that amounted to a long, heavy club. Three blows delivered by a grown man in perfect health would leave the victim's bottom a mass of purple bruises and blood blisters, accompanied by excruciating pain.
David tried hard to avoid incidents likely to result in this calculated torture, but there was no way to avoid them entirely, short of quitting, as some first classmen awarded such blows through sheer sadism. David gritted his teeth and accepted them when he had to, judging-correctly-that he would be run out of school if he defied the supreme authority of a first clansman. So he thought about the south end of that mule and endured it.
There was a much greater hazard to his personal safety and future prospects of a life free from "honest work." The mystique of military service included the idea that a prospective officer must excel in athletic sports. Do not, ask why; it was no more subject to rational explanation than is any other branch of theology.
Plebes in particular had to-no choice!-go out for "sports." Two hours each day which were nominally free David could not spend napping or dreaming in the quiet of the school's library, but must perforce spend in sweaty exercise.
Worse still, some "sports" were not only excessively energetic but also involved hazards to David's favorite skin. "Boxing"-this is a long forgotten, utterly useless, stylized mock combat in which two men batter each other for a preset period or until one is beaten unconscious. "La Crosse"-this is a mock battle taken over from the savages who had formerly inhabited that continent. In it mobs of men fought with clubs. There was a hard missile with which points were scored-but it was the prospect of being sliced open or having bones broken with these clubs that aroused our hero's distaste.
There was a thing called "water polo" in which opposing swimmers attempted to drown each other. David avoided that one by not swimming more than well enough to stay in school-a required skill. He was an excellent swimmer, having learned at the age of seven through being chucked into a creek by two older cousins-but he concealed his skill.
The sport with highest prestige was a thing called "foot ball"-and first classmen sized up each new group of victims for candidates who might be expected to excel, or learn to excel, in this organized mayhem. David had never seen it-but now he saw it and it filled his peaceful soul with horror.
As well it might. It involved two gangs of eleven men facing each other on a field and trying to move an ellipsoid bladder down the field against the opposition of the other gang. There were rituals and an esoteric terminology, but that was the idea.
It sounds harmless and rather foolish. Foolish it was, harmless it was not-as the rituals permitted the opposing gang to attack a man attempting to move the bladder in a variety of violent ways, the least of which was to grab him and cause him to hit the ground like a ton of brick. Often three or four bit him at once, and sometimes inflicted indignities and mayhems not permitted by the rituals but concealed by' the pile of bodies.
Death was not supposed to result from this activity but sometimes did. Injuries short of death were commonplace.
Unfortunately David had the ideal physique for success in this "feet ball"-height, weight, eyesight, fleetness of foot, speed of reflex. He was certain to be spotted by the first classmen on their return from mock sea battles and "volunteered" as a sacrificial victim.
It was time for evasive action.
The only possible way to avoid "foot ball" was to be acceptably occupied with some other sport. He found one.
Ira, do you know what "swordsmanship" is? Good-I can speak freely. This was a time in Earth's history when the sword had ceased to be a weapon-after having been prominent for more than four millennia. But swords still existed in fossil form and retained a shadow of their ancient prestige. A gentleman was presumed to know how to use a sword and- "Lazarus, what is a 'gentleman'?"
What? Don't interrupt, boy; you confuse me. A "gentleman" is, uh-Well, now let me see. A general definition- My, you can think up some hard ones. Some said it was an accident of birth-that being a disparaging way of saying it was a trait genetically inherited. But that doesn't say what the trait is. A gentleman was supposed to prefer being a dead lion to being a live jackal. Me, I've always preferred to be a live lion, so that puts me outside the rules. Mmm...you could say in all seriousness that the quality tagged by that name represents the slow emergence in human culture of an ethic higher than simple self-interest-damn slow in emerging in my opinion; you still can't rely on it in a crunch.
As may be, military officers were presumed to be gentlemen and wore swords. Even fliers wore swords, although Allah alone could guess why.