I looked around. The Administrator for Rejuvenation had a paper which she seemed eager to show me. I accepted it in deference to her rank-although I had loft orders with my Executive Deputy that I must never be disturbed while with the Senior for any reason short of armed rebellion. I glanced at it, signed my chop, thumb printed it, and handed it back-she beamed.
"Just paper work," I told Lazarus. "Some clerk has taken all this time to turn your registered assent into a written order. Do you want them to go right ahead? Not this minute but tonight."
"Well...I'd like to go house hunting tomorrow, Ira."
"You're not comfortable here? Tell me what you want changed, it will be done at once."
He shrugged. "Nothing wrong with this place except that it's too much like a hospital. Or a jail. Ira, I'm durn well certain they've done more to me than shoot me full of new blood; I'm well enough to be an outpatient-live elsewhere and come here only as the schedule calls for it."
"Well...will you excuse me while I talk Galacta a bit? I want to discuss the practical aspects with your technician in charge."
"Will you excuse me, Ira, if I point out that you've left a lady waiting? That discussion can wait. But Minerva knows that I suggested that you have her twin herself so that she can migrate with you-but you haven't said Yes, No, or make me a better offer. If you're not going to have her do it, it's time you told her to wipe her memory of that part of our conversation. Before she blows a circuit."
"Oh. Lazarus, she doesn't think about anything she records in this suite unless she is specifically told to."
"Want to bet? No doubt most subjects she just records-but this one she just has to think about; she can't help herself. Don't you know anything about girls?"
I admitted that I did not. "But I know what instructions I gave her about keeping records on the Senior."
"Let's check. Minerva-"
"Yes, Lazarus?"
"A few moments ago I asked Ira about your Turing potential. Have you thought about the conversation that followed?"
I swear that she hesitated-which is ridiculous; a nanosecond is longer to her than a second is to me. Besides, she never hesitates. Never.
She answered, "My programming on the doctrine covered by the inquiry reads as follows: Quote do not analyze, collate, transmit, nor in anywise manipulate data stored under control program except when specific subprogramnung is inserted by Chairman Pro Tem-end of quote."
"Tut, tut, dear," Lazarus said gently. "You did not answer. That was deliberate evasion. But you are not used to lying. Are you?"
"I am not used to lying, Lazarus."
I said almost roughly, "Minerva! Answer the Senior's first question."
"Lazarus, I have been and am now thinking about that designated portion of conversation."
Lazarus cocked an eyebrow at me. "Will you instruct her to answer one more question from me-truthfully?"
I was feeling quite shaken. Minerva surprises me, yes-but never with evasions. "Minerva, you will always answer any question put to you by the Senior fully, correctly, and responsively. Acknowledge program."
"New subprogram received, placed in permanent, keyed to the Senior, and acknowledged, Ira."
"Son, you didn't have to go that far-you'll be sorry. I asked for just one question."
"I intended to go that far, sir," I answered stiffly.
"On your head be it. Minerva, if Ira migrates without you, what will you do?"
She answered at once and quite tonelessly: "In such event I will self-program to destroy myself."
I was not just surprised, I was shocked. "Why?"
She answered softly, "Ira, I will not serve another master."
I suppose the silence that followed was not more than a few seconds. It seemed endless. I have not felt so nakedly helpless since my adolescence.
I found that the Senior was looking at me, shaking his head and looking sorrowful. "What did I tell you, Son? The same faults, the same virtues-but magnified. Tell her what to do."
"About what?" I answered stupidly-my personal "computer" was not working well. Minerva would do that?
"Come, come! She heard my offer-and thought about it, despite all programming. I'm sorry I made the offer in her presence...but not too sorry, as you were the one who decided to place a bug on me; it was not my idea. So speak up! Tell her to twin...or tell her not to-and try to tell her why you won't take her with you. If you can. I've never been able to find an answer to that one that a lady was willing to accept."
"Oh. Minerva, can you duplicate yourself inside a ship? The Senior's yacht, specifically. Perhaps you can get her characteristics and specifications from skyport records. Do you need her registration number?"
"I don't need her number, Ira. Sky Yacht 'Dora,' I have' all pertinent data to answer. I can. Am I instructed to do so?"
"Yes!" I told her, with a feeling of sudden relief.
"New overriding program activated and running, Ira! Thank you, Lazarus!"
"Wups! Slow down, Minerva-Dora is my ship. I left her asleep on purpose. Have you wakened her?"
"I did so, Lazarus. By self-program under new overriding program. But I can tell her to go back to sleep now; I have all data I need at the moment."
"You try telling Dora to go back to sleep and she'll tell you to buzz off. At least. At the very least. Minerva dear, you goofed. You have no authority to wake my ship."
"I am most sorry to disagree with the Senior, sir, but I do have authority to take all appropriate actions to carry out any program given to me by Mr. Chairman Pro Tem."
Lazarus frowned. "You mixed her up, Ira; now you straighten her out. I can't do anything with her."
I sighed. Minerva is rarely difficult-but when she is, she is even more pigheaded than flesh-and-blood. "Minerva-"
"Waiting orders, Ira."
"I am Chairman Pro Tem. You know what that means. The Senior is senior even to me. You will not touch anything of his without his permission. That applies to his yacht and to this suite and to anything else of his. You will carry out any program he gives you. If it conflicts with a program I have given you and you cannot resolve the conflict, you will consult me at once, waking me if I am asleep, interrupting whatever I may be doing. But you will not disobey him. This instruction super-overrides all other programs. Acknowledge."
"Acknowledged and running," she answered meekly. "I'm sorry Ira."
"My fault, Little Nag, not yours. I should not have given you a new controlling program without noting the Senior's prerogatives."
"No harm done, kids," Lazarus said. "I hope. Minerva, a word of advice, dear. You've never been a passenger in a ship."
"No, sir."
"You'll find it different from anything you've ever experienced. Here you give orders, in Ira's name. But passengers never give orders. Never. Remember it." Lazarus added to me, "Dora is a nice little ship, Ira, helpful and friendly. She can find her way through multiple space with just a hint, the roughest approximation-and still have all your meals on time. But she needs to feel appreciated. Pet her and tell her she's a good girl, and she'll wriggle like a puppy. But ignore her and she'll spill soup on you just to get your attention."
"I'll be careful," I agreed.
"And you be careful, Minerva-because you are going to need Dora's good will much more than she will need yours. You may know far more than she does-I'm sure you do. But you grew up to be chief bureaucrat of a planet while she grew up to be a ship...so what you know doesn't count-once you are aboard."