You will float freely like a fuzz, alone.
Don’t get distracted, do not rejoice! Don’t be afraid! This is the moment of your death! Use death, because it’s a great opportunity. Keep your clarity of thought, don’t cloud it even with compassion. May your love become dispassionate.
After the out-breath ends, it will be good if someone reads into your ear these words: You are now in the Primeval Light, try to stay in the state you’re experiencing now.
If you see Glistening – this is the Glistening of the Primeval Light of Enlightened Reality. Know it. Your current Consciousness, which is not filled with impressions, sounds, pictures and smells, comprehends Itself, and this is the true reality.
Your own mind is no longer existential, it yawns with eternity, it’s not emptiness or unconsciousness. Left only to Itself, it shines, flashes, and burns – it is your true purified Consciousness…’
I couldn’t remember anything after that and that’s why I recited this piece over and over again. My lips cracked and became covered with scabs. Black spots floated in front of my eyes. My ears were ringing and I could hear the voices of some people, maybe deceased relatives or friends or maybe my neighbors behind the wall. I would fall asleep as if I was falling into dark water. Each time I thought that I wouldn’t wake up again, but death still didn’t come.
So one evening I sank into the slumber which normally precedes sleep and may precede death, when suddenly a bright light flashed in front of my eyes, like the one which is mentioned in Bardo Thodol.
In my final dying (pre-dying) effort I clenched my fists… and saw the Baseball player. Well, Mr. Jenkins. He was standing in the middle of the room in his mac and cap and looking at me like a character out of some gangster movie.
‘You look awful, Josh,’ he said to me. ‘Why didn’t you call?’
I wheezed something in response.
‘Alright, alright, we can talk later,’ he took his hat off and hung it on the corner of the door. ‘I’ll call for some doctors. They’ll patch you up, give you the necessary pills and you’ll be like new. And then we can talk.’
‘Then’ happened about a week later. I was indeed patched up, although pills alone weren’t enough and I had to have injections of antibiotics. Either way, by the time of my conversation with the Baseball player, I was pretty much healthy, though still quite weak.
‘The psychiatrists have a term – ‘escape into illness’, the Baseball player said, when we ordered coffee in a café overlooking the black mass of the main building of Fort Meade. ‘I get a feeling, Josh, that you had a bit of a nervous breakdown.’
‘It’s nothing to do with nerves,’ I answered irritatedly. ‘The weather in Zurich was just awful – rain, wind and also damned cold. Even Popeye would’ve caught a fever or something of the kind.’
‘You know in Europe it’ll always be like that,’ Mr. Jenkins laughed for some reason. ‘Global warming will bring them global cooling.’
‘I think these are mutually exclusive,’ I said, stirring my coffee.
‘I think you’re not familiar with the principle of work of our HAARP laboratories involved in complex ionospheric studies.’
‘Is that the station in Alaska built during the Cold War?
‘After, Josh, built after the Cold War.’
‘Or are you talking about the super-cannons HARP, created by Gerald Bull for sending satellites into low orbit?’
‘You’re a bright lad!’ the Baseball player blinded me with his smile. ‘I see you don’t waste your time on the internet. But whether it’s HAARP or HARP, what I am saying is: you’re simply tired, my boy. You’ve done your work very well. You helped the guys out even though you didn’t have to. Your superiors value your work a great deal. By this evening, I’ve been told, there’ll be something added to your bank account. Anyway, you should go on holiday. To Hawaii, say. And why not – it’s an amazing place! Palm trees, the ocean, volcanoes, music, stars shining in the night sky as big as my fist… And the girls there – m-m-m… I am not an envious person, as you know, but I really envy you now. Hey, waiter! Bring me a fresh orange – I have nostalgia.’
Do I really have to say that after this recommendation from Mr. Jenkins I was soon off to Honolulu and from there to the base of the sleeping volcano Mauna Kea?
I ended up in a bungalow, rented for two weeks, lying in a recliner with a glass of Blue Hawaii on an open terrace with a mind-blowing view over the snowy dome of the volcano and the dark-blue ocean. And yet, for some reason, I felt exactly the same hopelessness and loneliness as I did during the first week in college.
The octopus was holding me tightly and I could not break free from its tenacious tentacles. To distract myself, I climbed again into the thickets of the internet, reading various cryptologic theories connected to HAARP. The Baseball player never mentions anything without a reason and so I knew something related to this installation, which can influence the ionosphere with high frequency rays, would somehow come into my life in the very near future.
The aerial fields of HAARP, the electro station and the research units are built in a remote area of Alaska near Gakona village. The mesh design antennas, incoherent radiation radar, and laser radars tower like aliens from the fantastic future amid dense taiga and wild mountains. Officially, HAARP is considered a scientific laboratory for studying the ionosphere. Unofficially, it’s acknowledged that the installation has been constructed not just to study the nature of the ionosphere but also for the development of the systems of air and missile defense.
In particular, according to information from inside which I managed to discover, HAARP can be used to interfere with Russian stations tracking ballistic missile launches in the Northern Hemisphere. This is all gossip, but the gossip is in the zone of reason. And beyond this zone people say things about the station which would make our Hollywood scriptwriters cry with envy.
For example, idle reporters and crazy followers of the internet call HAARP the ‘most modern weapon’. A few dozens documents have been published on the net in regards to this subject, in which it’s described in detail how this installation creates devastating typhoons, brings Russian satellites down, stirs the psyche of whole nations into mass riots and civil wars, and even triggers artificial earthquakes which destroy whole cities.
It would’ve been quite funny if it weren’t for the Baseball player. Why did he start talking about HAARP? At the moment, all I could see was a thick information curtain, like a smoke one, around this project. By the way, the Russians have similar installations but people don’t write even a tenth as much as they do about HAARP. So people write that this means that someone for some reason needs this fog. And it seems that after my holiday this headache has every chance of becoming my headache.
To get distracted and give my brain a chance to switch on to something else, I renewed my memory of another project HARP, spelt with a single ‘A’. This story dates to 1961, long before the construction of the aerial fields of the current HAARP in Alaska.
Everything began, as it often does, with the scientists. They constructed an experimental light-gas cannon with a barrel thirty metres long in order to track the behaviour of ballistic objects. But soon the military became interested in the cannon, and HARP received financial support and began to develop rapidly. It was assumed that the cannons will throw out small military satellites to heights of up to two hundred kilometres, the so-called low orbits. It was much cheaper and quicker than taking the devices into space by rocket.
From open sources, it became known that about ten cannons were built and located across the whole of North America – from Arizona to Quebec, and one cannon was located on Barbados, because it had the best conditions for ballistic launches. By the way, the calibre of the Barbados cannon was 406 millimetres and the length of the barrel was forty metres, which was a record.