The only way to short out a chip was to destroy it on purpose, like the dissys do.
“Please, Sergeant. I’m willing to pay for your time. Name a price, I’ll pay it. Any price. Ever since yesterday, I’ve been worried sick. I can’t think about anything else.”
Worried sick, but he still managed to enjoy an afternoon with my wife. I glanced back at the raccoon still happily nibbling away. That was a vicious circle going on there. Eat marijuana, get the munchies, so you eat more marijuana. Maybe I’d be lucky and he’d pop.
“Two months’ worth of foliage for my property size,” I said. “That’s my price.”
He frowned. “I live in a condo, Sergeant Avalon. I don’t have a roof, just a little garden on my porch, and some kudzu in the bathroom. I could pay you the equivalent amount in credits.”
“No deal. If you can’t get the foliage, you can come up here once a week and work my roof.”
A fair compromise. He came here to get a little trim. Why not give a little trim back?
“Done. When can we do this?”
“Now is good.”
“Now. Excellent. I’ll go get dressed.” He turned to leave, then turned right back around. “Thank you, Sergeant.”
I shrugged. “Meet you out in front in ten.”
Neil disappeared. I gave my little pot thief one more glance. “If you feel like dropping dead, please go next door to Chomsky’s roof.”
The raccoon’s mouth was full, his cheeks puffed out with weed, but he probably wouldn’t have replied anyway.
TWO
Victoria was in a red silk kimono one shade lighter than her hair, and even though we’d been married for three years and had known each other for five, the sight of her still took my breath away. She was beautiful, sure. And it was natural beauty, not surgically enhanced. But the thing that drew me and countless others to her was how she radiated life. Vicki had something beneath her superficial looks, something she exuded that made you want to be near her. Charisma times ten. And it had nothing to do with her being one of the last real redheads in the country.
I walked to her in the kitchen, where she was at the sink, peeling the potatoes I’d dug up earlier, setting the skins aside. I came up from behind and wrapped my arms around her.
“You’re going to help him?” she asked, dropping the spud and squeezing my forearms.
“Yeah. He agreed to do our foliage for two months.”
“You’re the last of the nice guys, Talon.”
I considered nuzzling her neck, but figured it had been nuzzled only a few minutes prior. The thought made my arms tense up.
“I didn’t mean to bring him over while you were home.” Victoria must have sensed my mood swing. She was good at reading people. “But the reason he wanted to see me is because he wanted to see you. He tried your office first. You weren’t there, so he made an appointment.”
“So you guys didn’t…”
“Of course we did. He’s a regular client, obviously very upset. I did my best to relax him.”
I kept the jealousy down. I had no right to judge her. Victoria kept her relationship with her clients businesslike and professional. No kissing. Always protection. And since she married me, she drastically reduced her schedule. Women of her attributes could have been making four times the amount she did, but she worked only two days a week, and picked days when I was at work so I wouldn’t have to see or hear anything that might make me go on a Tasing expedition.
Besides, the only reason I knew Victoria in the first place was because I was a former client.
“Kiss me,” I said.
She turned, my arms still around her. Her green eyes were wide, her pupils huge.
“Sometimes I think that’s the only reason you married me, Talon. Because you knew how much I wanted to kiss you.”
“That, and it was cheaper to marry you than keep hiring you.”
We kissed, and it tasted just as fresh and new as it did that very first time, at our wedding ceremony. Victoria had been extremely rigid on that no-kissing policy.
I nibbled her lower lip, dropping my mouth to her neck, and she leaned slightly back.
“I’ve got another client coming in twenty minutes. I doubled up today so I could have tomorrow off. I got us space elevator tickets. How does a day in low-earth orbit sound?”
Unfortunately, my alpha-male mind didn’t zero in on the extra day I’d have her to myself.
“Who’s the client?”
“Barney. The dentist.”
“I hate that guy.”
“He’s a harmless old man.”
I knew I shouldn’t go there, but there I went. “Quit,” I told her.
She pushed me away. “Don’t start. We have bills, Talon.”
“We can move someplace cheaper.”
“I like Chicago. I like our big house.”
“You’re not the one who does the gardening for a property this big.”
“I thought Neil was doing it.”
“For two months. Then it’s back to me.”
Her eyes flashed challenge. “If you hate it so much, we can hire someone. I’ll take on an extra client to pay for it.”
“Boise, Idaho, is nice,” I managed to say through clenched teeth. “Let’s move to Boise. We could each get normal jobs. Maybe we could farm. There’s still affordable land out there. Buy four acres and raise blue-green algae. There’s a new strain that’s almost sixty-five percent lipid.”
“You hate gardening. You think you’d like farming?”
“I would if it meant having you to myself.”
She rolled her eyes. “If I thought you were serious, I’d do it, Talon. But I know you. I know you’re a city guy. If you moved out to the country, you’d go crazy within two weeks.”
She was right, but I wasn’t going to back down.
“If you loved me, you’d quit.”
Vicki folded her arms. Just like she was able to project warmth, she was now projecting anger.
“I shouldn’t have brought anyone here while you were home.”
“You could have gone to his place.”
“You don’t let me go to my clients’ homes. You don’t trust any of them.”
“And why would that be? Maybe because they’re nailing my wife?”
If freeze-vision were possible, Vicki would have turned me into an iceberg right there.
“It’s my job, Talon. Nothing more. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. You promised you’d stop doing this.”
The hurt in her face made me want to take her in my arms again, but I was on a roll.
“How would you like it if I slept around?”
Her temperature dropped even further. “I’m not sleeping around. I’m earning a living. A very good living that lets us have a big house in a nice city. Sex is a natural, wholesome, biological need, and you know the only person I make it personal with is you.”
Now I folded my arms, too. “But what if I did? What if I slept with someone else?”
Victoria’s green eyes narrowed to slits. “Our prenup doesn’t have a monogamy clause. You go right ahead. Just make sure the next time you’re in my bed you have a full medical exam in your hand, and you sure as hell better not kiss her.”
She stormed past me. I shook my head. SLPs. Sex with strangers was okay, but I’d better not kiss anyone else.
Unfortunately, I didn’t want to kiss, or have sex with, anyone but her.
“Sergeant?”
Neil again, standing in the kitchen doorway. He was wearing a rumpled suit that made him look even thinner and wimpier. I might have even felt sorry for him, but he got laid today, and I hadn’t.
“Let’s go,” I told him.
We walked through my admittedly large and beautiful house, each step representing several square feet of very expensive real estate. My background check on Neil showed he didn’t own a vehicle, so I lead him to the garage. Like everyone else who sees my ride, his eyes bugged out when I turned on the overhead lights.
“You have a… car?”
“A 2024 Corvette Stingray, retrofitted for biofuel.”
“It must have cost a fortune,” Neil said.
“A gift from my wife.” I stared at him pointedly, letting him know his visits helped pay for this baby. But he apparently didn’t need a reminder.