School was hell again. By lunchtime, the story with Jenny had made its way around the entire student population. Interestingly, she, or more likely the telephone game, had changed a few of the finer details. While I was sure I did absolutely everything to make her feel safe and enjoy it, I was now officially the worst fuck imaginable. She had admitted that I ate her to that one big orgasm, but all the less pleasant parts were now my wrongdoing only, with no word of her inexperience or insecurity being told.
I was the bad kisser, manhandled her breasts, and, apparently, even tried to make her deepthroat me. Then, when she was asked about the actual sex, she did tell them the problem was related to my size, but didn’t explain any further. Naturally, with the rumors about “Tiny Tim” Ava had provided since I started at this school, the story was now the complete opposite of what really happened. She didn’t leave because my size intimidated her, she left because my small size wasn’t doing anything for her.
Everybody let me feel it. Everybody had to comment on it. Everybody shouted out to “Tiny Tim” when they saw me in the hallways and classrooms. There was no escaping it, and in some ways it was even worse than the physical attacks. At least I could defend myself against those, while nobody gave a shit about my side of the story regarding what happened with Jenny.
I actually didn’t blame her, though. Thinking about it, I had reached the conclusion that she wouldn’t have gone so far for a mere prank. Looking at it objectively, she simply didn’t strike me as the malicious type. Therefore, her running away in that kind of situation was probably just because she got scared. I couldn’t blame someone for something like that, could I?
When I came across Jenny in front of the school one day, I initially tried to just ignore her. But she noticed me, and, for some reason, seemed to want to talk. Just as she had taken a breath and opened her mouth, a few guys walked past us.
“What’s that? Tiny Tim begging for another shot?” they shouted, loudly laughing.
I looked at them. This wouldn’t stop anytime soon. If it would stop at all. But there was fuck all I could do about it. I wanted to beat the shit out of them, but what would that achieve? Scaring them the last time only stopped the physical assaults, the name calling never really let up. This was just another level of the same shit, because they had received new ammunition. The exact thing I didn’t want to provide them with. This was my life now. I was back to where I started almost exactly a year ago. Countless hours of exercise and training, standing up to my bullies, changing my image ... all for nothing. Back to going through the motions without hope for improvement. Why did I even bother anymore?
When I looked back at Jenny, the expression on her face reminded me of the one I saw on Aunt Danielle during Thanksgiving. She looked like she was concerned, almost afraid of something. I didn’t care anymore. As she, once again, tried to say something, I turned and walked to my Jeep to get to work. Like usual, I relied on my colleagues to be decent human beings and, over the next few weeks, they didn’t disappoint. With them, there was no childish shit to deal with, so I could just immerse myself into my projects and my slowly evolving relationship with Tess.
As soon as Christmas Break started, I had immersed myself into work and my self-learning. It helped take my mind off it all. One day, when one of the guys had seen me in a particularly gloomy mood after Tess left for the Holidays again, he did the one thing he could think of: Offer me a cigarette. I accepted, as a way to keep socializing, but it somehow stuck and became a habit. When the parents learned about me smoking, they tried to parent for the first time in years, but our relationship had reached the point where I could just give them a stern look to get them off my back.
With our relationship as it was from the start, material threats were really the only thing they had over me, and now that I worked and earned good money myself, that option was gone as well. Other than threatening to kick me out of the house, there was little they could think of anymore when they wanted to put their foot down. Since I was paying rent, and still a minor they were more or less required by law to care for, that shouldn’t happen anytime soon. Though, the thought of being kicked out grew more and more attractive with each day.
Then came Christmas. For Christmas Eve we were, once again, at Uncle John’s. Aunt Danielle had tried to include me in the conversations multiple times, but every time I tried to say more than the absolutely necessary minimum, the conversation was hijacked by someone else and shifted to a topic I had nothing to contribute to. Over the entire evening, there was only one topic allowed to last: Golden Boy had gotten his acceptance Letter from UT Austin, and it even included a football scholarship.
Aaron was as proud as a father could ever be. His oldest son had proven their worldview on the superiority of athletics over brains, and was following in his father’s footsteps. Claire and Ava were simply gushing over his achievement and wouldn’t leave his side. Claire was also whining about how much she would be missing him the entire time.
I was just on the porch smoking, when Aunt Danielle joined me.
“I heard about what happened at Ava’s party.” she said, as she wrapped herself tightly into the coat she used to fend off the cold. I didn’t feel like entertaining that particular topic.
“Tim. I’m a little worried about you. Talk to me.” she continued when I didn’t react.
“Did you see the Rangers game yesterday?” I asked.
“The what?” She was confused.
“It’s not football season, is it?” I asked hesitantly.
“Oh, it is. And the Super Bowl is yet to come, too. But I’m pretty sure the Rangers are our Baseball Team.” she smirked. “Why are you bringing that up?”
“You asked me to talk to you.” I took another drag from my cigarette.
“I wanted to talk about what happened at Ava’s party. And the aftermath I heard about.”
“So the story made its way even to you, huh?” I sighed. “Well, not much to talk about, really. They turned it all around to make me look like an idiot, and, thanks to my loving siblings, everyone went along with it before adding their own assumptions as facts. I tried fighting them. It didn’t work, so now I’m done trying. I’m good.”
“Seriously, Tim, what is going on with you? Why can’t you find a way to settle your differences?”
Now, that pissed me off big time! It sounded like she was accusing me of not trying enough, so it was all my own fault. All this time, she was the one fucking my entire family without noticing anything being wrong! She knew well enough about my damn nickname, and, as far as I knew, never objected. She couldn’t have forgotten what happened at Thanksgiving. She must’ve seen what was going on the entire evening so far. Someone tell me again why psychology is seen as anything more than a degree in fucking common sense!
“Fine fucking therapist you are! Ask them,” I said angrily, pointing my thumb over my shoulder towards her patio door. “I did every fucking thing I could think of. I asked, I pleaded, then I begged, and finally bought gifts, and I got a big FUCK YOU in return! As I said, it didn’t work, and I’m FUCKING done taking the blame for it. Use your damn brain and figure this shit out yourself. You’ve watched it happen long enough. I’m long past giving a shit about you all. I dropped your obligatory Christmas presents on the coffee table. Enjoy your fucking Holidays and leave me the fuck alone!”