“I have. A nice new monitor for my PC.” I answered, not mentioning that I had purchased it myself. A nice but sadly expensive ultrawide monitor without curvature. The curved ones are awesome for gaming, but morph any straight horizontal lines, so creating layouts and designs was near impossible on them for me. Even without the curve, the damn thing had cost me $600.
“That sounds nice. But somehow that also sounds like something work related again. Did you at least get a nice cake?” she asked, almost dropping the pretense of not just checking on our relationship progress.
“I got a tasty treat, yes.” It wasn’t even a real lie. The pizza and the muffin were tasty, I just didn’t tell her that I had ordered them. And the muffin was also cute, really. They even stuck a little candle in it.
“That is nice, pumpkin. Well, I guess we’ll see each other next week then. Enjoy the weekend, and don’t work so much! Bye!”
No sense in complaining to her and causing problems for me. If she had any actual interest in fixing this family, she wouldn’t have waited almost an entire year before checking on our progress. I was dead set on packing my shit and leaving this house the following day. Telling Grandma the truth at that moment would only have caused her to call her children. And then they would have been in the way, trying to argue with me while I tried to pack my car. I also had work to finish that was more important than whining about my birthday.
When, by Ten PM, there was still nobody home, I started packing. I won’t lie, it felt weird. I had been looking forward to leaving for months, but always expected to live there with Tess one day. Now I had doubts. Not about moving out, or living alone, but rather about the family not throwing a fit and ruining this for me just for shits and giggles. I just kept telling myself, if they couldn’t even be bothered to remember my birthdays, they won’t miss me either. Realizing my entire life fit into two moving boxes and a sports bag weirded me out more, though. Apart from my computer and laptop, I only had clothes and a few toiletries to pack.
The next morning, I carried my computer, gaming chair, and the two moving boxes with my clothes to my Jeep and made the drive to my new home. When I parked, I saw Paul walking out of the building.
“Good morning!” he greeted me with a big grin.
“Morning. What’s up? This almost looks like you waited for me.”
“I did.” His grin widened. “Just wanted to be there when the realization hit. Let me help you carry your stuff in.”
I didn’t really know what he meant, but accepted his offer. After we had placed my meager possessions in the living room, he looked at me expectantly.
“What?” I asked, a little weirded out by his expression.
“Still not getting it? Try unpacking your clothes.”
I opened the box, took a few shirts out, and froze as the realization hit me.
“And THERE it is.” He shouted out. “Finally realized you’re an idiot.”
I had a bed and a desk, but that was it. There was nothing to put the clothes away in this apartment.
“Just to be sure. Did you plan to eat nothing but takeout? ‘Cause I don’t see any kitchenware either. Or tableware, for that matter. How about toilet paper? Don’t tell me you’re only gonna greet people with your right hand from now on.” He asked, laughing hard by the end.
“Well ... maybe I was a little too enthusiastic to get here...”
“Yeah, I was the same when I left for college. Dried myself off after showers with a dirty shirt, ‘cause I didn’t think about towels. You still got some savings left?” he asked, and I nodded. “Alright. Come on. There’s an Ikea not too far from here. For Christ’s sake, you didn’t even bring a blanket or a pillow.”
Paul and I drove in separate cars, so he could put stuff in his pick up truck. He pointed out quite a few things I hadn’t thought about, so I was loudly groaning when I had roughly eight-hundred dollars worth of the most mundane everyday items on my list that had always just ... been available.
“Don’t forget the living room.” Paul reminded me.
“I spend most of my time either in bed or in front of the computer. I don’t need a living room right now.”
“Yes, you do. When the others come over for the housewarming party.”
I blinked at him for a moment. “And when exactly is that going to happen?”
“We decided on Seven PM, which means that we have enough time to assemble everything ... If they deliver in time. I don’t think we’ll get a corner sofa and two armchairs on my truck with everything else.”
I grumbled but was secretly happy. I had never been to a party, much less hosted one because nobody would show up anyway, so this was already turning out to be the first day of my better life! Paul had a blast teasing me about my earlier grumbling, when he saw me pick out a bunch of cups with a huge grin on my face.
“I gotta say, man ... you have a weird taste.” Paul commented with a light scowl back in the apartment. “Everything you picked is either white, black, or gray. I didn’t even know Ikea sells dark gray toilet paper that isn’t recycled!?”
“Not gonna lie, I like it. Reflects how bland I am. But it also has the added benefit that I don’t have to spend extra time looking for stuff that fits together and into the apartment.”
“Your walls are entirely white, dude. Anything fits in here.” he laughed.
We spent two hours assembling and arranging everything and preparing the bathroom, before the delivery truck with the sofa and armchairs arrived. After another hour of figuring out how to get the sitting arrangements through the door, I could finally start unpacking while Paul excused himself to make arrangements for the party. I quickly went shopping for snacks and had barely enough time to take a shower before Paul came back with a beer crate. I ordered a bunch of pizzas and the evening started.
They coordinated themselves well. Eight people from work showed up, including Bill and his wife, and all of them presented me with the exact same potted plant as a housewarming gift. At least I now had something to put on the window stills. Until they died, that is.
Bill’s wife had a different idea, though, as she gifted me a stack of framed pictures showing me and Tess at work, in the company gym, and at the after-work get-togethers. I had no idea how she got a hold of them all, nor did I ever notice just how obvious Tess and I had behaved in front of all these people. I thanked her with a hug before fleeing into the second bathroom to hide for a few minutes. I only had a few selfies we took together to remember her, and since I had taken those with my flip phone camera, this meant a lot to me.
I had a great time, and actually managed to not miss Tess for a few hours! The guys told stories about their first time living alone, assured me how none of them found themselves in half furnished rooms like I did, and told me how this would be the best time of my life. Apparently, living alone would be a big plus when getting to know women, which I doubted though.
As expected, it took the family six days to realize I was gone. At least I think that was when they really realized it, because it was Thursday during lunch break at school when Ava came storming to my table. She was followed by Joan and Mia, whom I hadn’t seen since Ava’s seventeenth birthday.
“Tiny! What the fuck is going on!? Mom just called, screaming at me to check if you’re in school! Why aren’t you answering your phone?” she asked, more annoyed than anything.
“My phone is on silent when I’m in school. Just tell her I’m here and then fuck off again.” I said dismissively.
“Why would she ask me that in the first place? What did you do?” Her two friends seemed quite amused about the spectacle.