“I don’t remember anything about Earth,” Holly confessed. “That was my first life and all those memories are gone.”
“I remember it,” said Tavalera. “I thought I wanted to go back—until I met you.”
She melted into his arms and for long moments they were lost in each other. Then, as the habitat slowly rotated, Saturn rose into view, its broad gleaming rings flooding the compartment with light.
Holly leaned her head on his shoulder. “My god, but it’s beautiful.”
“Yeah.”
The wide flattened sphere of Saturn was aglow with streaks of saffron and soft russet. The rings were tilted so that they could see them in their full dazzling luster.
“You don’t see that on Earth,” Tavalera muttered.
“Guess not.”
He kissed her again, then led her to the plushly padded bench.
As they sat side by side, Holly asked, “Raoul, do you want to go back to Earth?”
She could see the conflict in his eyes. “Yeah, maybe someday, I guess.”
“It’s still your home, isn’t it?”
Instead of answering, he asked, “Would you come with me?”
“For a visit or to stay?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve got a life here. I like working with Dr. Cardenas. I’m learning a lot. She says I could get a degree from the University of Selene.”
“In nanotech?”
“Yeah.”
“That would be great.”
“I couldn’t do nanotech work back on Earth, though. It’s banned there.”
“But you could get an engineering job.”
His face sank into a frown. “Big deal. I’d be just another engineer.”
“So you’d rather stay here?”
“With you,” he blurted.
Despite herself, Holly smiled at him. “Raoul, I don’t want to be the deciding factor in your life. That wouldn’t be fair to you. To either of us.”
“But you are, Holly. I want to be with you. I don’t care where it is, I just want to be with you.”
He leaned toward her to kiss her again, but she put a finger against his lips.
“What?” he asked, exasperation clear in his tone.
“There’s something between us,” said Holly.
Tavalera’s face clouded over. “Wunderly and her frickin’ rings.”
“It’s important, Raoul. Important to all of us.”
“Important enough to get me killed?”
“No! But—”
“But shit!” he snapped. “You think flying Wunderly to the rings is more important than us being together.”
“That’s not true, Raoul.”
“The fuck it isn’t.” He got to his feet. “You don’t give a damn about me, not for me, myself. You’re tryin’ to play me like a fuckin’ violin!”
“Raoul, no. Please!”
But he stormed out of the observation blister, leaving Holly sitting there alone, close to tears. What tore at her most was the realization that Raoul didn’t believe that she could love him, his rage at the thought that her only interest in him was to use him.
I do love you, Raoul! she called silently. I really do love you. But she knew that she had lost him, hurt his pride, ruined her one chance for a happy life with the man she loved.
Holly bowed her head and sobbed, all alone in the darkened observation blister.
Jeanmarie Urbain felt as jumpy as a schoolgirl. Her husband was still in his office, spending the evening as usual trying to work out a way to regain contact with his errant machine down on the surface of Titan.
The strain was killing him, she could see. Every morning he left their apartment wearier, tenser, after a few hours of tossing and moaning in his sleep. Every evening he returned to his office or the laboratories, working far past midnight to find a way to reach his silent Alpha. It’s as if I have a rival, she thought, as she stood before the bathroom mirror and clipped on her earrings. He loves that monster of a contraption. He spends more time trying to woo it back to him than he spends with me.
Satisfied at last with her appearance, she left the apartment and headed around behind her apartment building, down along the shadowy lane that led into the little clump of woods next to the lake. She felt furtive, nervous, and more than a little excited. This is an adventure, she told herself, as she passed the wide-spaced lamps along the curving path. An adventure. Keep your wits about you and all will be well.
Eberly had been cautious when she’d first phoned him and asked for a private meeting. Even in the phone’s display screen she could see the suspicion in his eyes. The man was handsome, there was no denying it. From all that Jeanmarie had heard of him, Eberly had no interest in women. Perhaps he is gay, she thought, although she had heard not a whisper to that effect, either.
So she dressed in a frilly sheath trimmed in black lace that was modest enough except for its décolleté neckline and walked determinedly toward her rendezvous with Eberly. In her hand she clutched a tiny beaded bag that held little more than her palmcomp. If Eduoard should phone from his office I can answer him, she told herself. If he comes home early and finds me gone, I can tell him I went for a walk.
Malcolm Eberly was more curious than worried as he strode along the shadowy path toward his meeting with Mme. Urbain. Why has she called me out of the blue? he asked himself. And asked for a private meeting, no less. No one else; just the two of us. A tryst in the dark of night. Eberly thought he knew the reason, but it seemed so out of kilter, so absurd, that he didn’t trust his own reasoning.
It can’t be, he told himself as he walked toward the dark woods by the lake. She’d never try to seduce me, not even for her husband’s sake. She can’t be thinking of anything like that.
Yet he found himself curious, eager, almost excited to see what Jeanmarie Urbain had to offer him.
10 January 2096: Midnight
It’s like an unending nightmare, Eduoard Urbain said to himself. He sat at his desk, head sunk between his hands, handsome silk ascot hanging loose and sweaty from his shirt collar, his pearl gray jacket tossed over the back of a chair.
Endless. Night and day I try to make something work and it is useless. It’s like one of those dreams where you are struggling to get away from something horrible but you can’t move. Your feet are mired in mud or sinking into wet concrete.
He banged a fist on his desktop so hard it hurt. “Why?” he demanded of the empty office. “Why won’t she speak to me?”
With red-rimmed eyes he reviewed the latest reports from his staff. Alpha was still incommunicado, somewhere on the surface of Titan. She could not be located unless low-altitude satellites were put in place around Titan to search for her with infrared and radar scanners. And Eberly will not allow the satellites to be launched unless I agree to his scheme to mine Saturn’s rings.
Endless. A never-ending cycle of frustration. My career is in tatters; my life is ruined. I am already a laughingstock back on Earth. The news media are doing stories about my failure.
What can I do? Urbain asked himself. What choice do I have? Eberly holds all the power. If I don’t give in to him, I’ll never find Alpha, never have a prayer of regaining contact with her.
Urbain straightened up in his chair. Let’s look at this calmly, he told himself. Rationally. Either you agree to mine the rings or you lose Alpha forever. Or at least until some other group is sent out here with the personnel and equipment to locate Alpha and get her to begin sending data. By then you will have been replaced, sent home to Quebec in disgrace, a miserable failure, a has-been, a never-was.
No! Urbain told himself sternly. That cannot be allowed. If I agree to allow that miserable extortionist Eberly to mine the rings, I can locate Alpha and bring her back to life. Me, myself.