"I will, don't worry about that." She seemed to relax a little more.
"Real time isn't important," Gaby said at last. "It's internal time that matters. And by that clock, I was in there for many years. I went up to heaven on a Mdam staircase of glass, and as sure as I'm sitting here I can see every step in my mind, and I can feel the clouds whipping by and hear my feet squeak on the glass. And it was Hollywood heaven, with red carpet for the last three or four kilometers, and golden gates like skyscrapers, and people with wings. And I didn't believe in it, you understand, and yet I did. I knew I was dreaming, I knew it was ridiculous, and finally I wouldn't have any more to do with it and it went away. "
She yawned, and laughed quietly. "Why am I telling you all this?"
"Maybe to get rid of it. Does it make you feel better?"
"Some. "
She was quiet for a while after that and eirocco thought she had gone to sleep, but it was not so. She stirred, and nuzzled deeper into Ciroccols chest.
"I had time to take a good look at myself," she said, slurring her words. "I didn't like it. I got to wondering what I was doing with myself. It never bothered me before."
"What's wrong with the way you were?" Cirocco asked. "I kind of liked you."
"You did? I don't see how. Sure, I didn't cause a lot of trouble to anybody, I could take care of myself. But what else? What good?"
"You were very good at your job, That's all I really demanded of you. You're the very best there is, or you wouldn't have been picked for this mission."
Gaby sighed. "Somehow, that doesn't impress me. I mean, to get that good I sacrficed just about everything that makes a human being. Like I said, I did some real soul-searching."
"What did you decide?"
"For one thing, I'm through with astronomy."
"Gaby ? "
"It's the truth. And what the hell? We'll never get out of here, and there's no stars to look at. I'd have needed to find something else to do anyway. And it's not that sudden. I had a long, long time to change my mind. You know, I don't have one lover in the whole world? Not even one friend."
"I'm your friend."
"No. Not the way I'm talking about. People respected me for my work, men desired me for my body. But I never made any friends, even as a kid. Not the kind you can open your heart to."
"It's not that hard."
"I hope not. Because I'm going to be a different person. I'm going to tell people about the real me. This is the first time I can do it, because it's the first time I've really known myself. And I'm going to love. I'm going to care about people. And it looks like you're it." She raised her head and smiled at Cirocco.
"What do you mean?" Cirocco asked, frowning slightly.
"It's a funny feeling, and I knew it as soon as I saw you." She rested her head again. "I think I love you."
Cirocco could not say anything for a time, then forced a laugh. "Hey, honey, you're still in that Hollywood heaven. There's no such thing as love at first sight. It takes time. Gaby? "
She tried several times to talk to her, but she was either asleep or faking it very well. She let her head fall back wearily.
"Oh, my God."
CHAPTER SIX
The smart thing would have been to post watches. Cirocco wondered as she struggled to wakefulness why she had so seldom managed to do the smart thing since she got to Themis. They would have to adjust to the strange timelessness. They couldn't go on walking until they dropped.
Gaby was sleeping with her thumb in her mouth. Cirocco tried to get up without disturbing her, but it wasn't possible. She moaned, then opened her eyes.
"Are you as hungry as I am?" she yawned. "That's hard to say."
"You think it's the berries? Maybe they're no good." "Impossible to tell so soon. But take a look over there. That might be breakfast."
Gaby looked where Cirocco pointed. There was an animal down by the stream, drinking. As they watched, it raised its head and looked at them from no more than twenty meters away. Cirocco tensed, ready for anything. It blinked, and lowered its head.
"A six-legged kangaroo, " Gaby said. 'With no ears." It was a fair description. The animal was covered with short fur and had two large hind legs, though not as large as a kangaroo's. The four front legs were smaller. The fur was light green and yellow. It was not taking any special care to protect itself.
"I'd like to get a look at its teeth. It might tell us something." "The smart thing is probably to get the hell out of here," Gaby
said. She sighed, and looked around on the ground. She got up before Cirocco could stop her, and was walking toward the creature.
"Gaby stop it," Cirocco hissed, trying not to alert the animal. She saw now that Gaby had a rock in her hand.
The creature looked up again. It had a face that would have been hilarious in other circumstances. The head was round, with no visible ears or nose- just two big soft eyes. But the mouth looked as if the creature was chewing on a bass bar- morjica. It stretched twice as wide as the rest of the head, giving the animal a foolish grin.
it lifted all four front feet from the ground and bounded three meters in the air. Gaby jumped just about as high in surprise, and had time to twist wildly in the air before coming down on her buttocks. Cirocco reached her and tried to take the rock away.
"Come on, Gaby, we don't need meat that badly."
"Be quiet," Gaby said through clenched teeth. "I'm doing this for you, too." She wrenched her arm away and ran forward.
The thing had taken two leaps, but each had been good for eight or nine meters. Now it stood quietly, forelegs touching the ground, head lowered. It was eating the grass.
It looked up placidly as Gaby stopped two meters away. It seemed to have no fear of her, and resumed cropping as Cirocco came up behind Gaby.
"Do you think we should-"
"Hush!" Gaby hesitated only a moment longer, then stepped up to the beast. She raised her arm and brought the rock down hard on the top of its head, then jumped away.
The beast made a coughing noise, staggered, and fell on its side. It kicked once, and was still.
They watched it for a while, then Gaby walked over and prod- ded it with a toe. Nothing happened, so she went down on one knee beside it. it was no larger than a small deer. Cirocco squatted, elbows on her knees, trying not to feel disgusted by it. Gaby seemed short of breath.
"Do you think it's dead?" she asked.
"Looks like it. Kind of anti-climactic, don't you think?"
"It's okay with me."
Gaby wiped a hand across her forehead, then smacked the rock repeatedly into the creature's head until red blood flowed. Cirroco winced. Gaby dropped the rock and wiped her hands on her thighs.
"That's that. You know, if you could gather up some of that dry underbrush I think I might be able to make a fire. "
"How're you going to do that?"
"Never mind. just get the wood."
Ciracco had half an armload of it before she stopped to wonder when Gaby started giving the orders.
"Well, the theory was good," Gaby said, gloomily.
Cirocco tore again at the stringy red meat that clung so tenaciously to the bone.
Gaby had sweated for an hour with a piece of her spacesuit and a rack she had hoped was flint but which proved not to be. They had a pile of dry wood, a fine moss-like substance, and splinters carefully shaved from tree branches with the sharp edge of Cirocco's helmet. They had all the essential ingredients of fire except the spark.
In that hour Cirocco's opinion of Gaby's kill had undergone a revolution. By the time she had it skinned and Gaby had given up on the fire she knew she would cat it raw and be thankful for it.
"That thing didn't have any predators," Cirocco said, around a mouthful. The meat was better than she had expected, but could have used some salt.
"It sure didn't act like it," Gaby agreed. She squatted on the other side of the carcass and her eyes roamed the ground over Cirocco's shoulder. Cirocco was doing the same thing.
"That could mean no predators big enough to bother us." Dinner was a drawn-out affair because of all the chewing necessary. They spent the time examining the carcass. The animal didn't seem too remarkable to Cirocco's untrained eyes. She wished Calvin was there to tell her if she was wrong. The meat, skin, bones and fur were of the usual colors and textures, and even smelled right. There were organs she couldn't identify.