“They may do no more than consider it!” I snapped, beginning to feel true anger at such foolish persistence. “Ceralt took me when I was wound-weakened and unarmed, Mehrayn when I believed I obeyed the commands of Mida. Now I stand in the midst of my warriors, and shall not allow the same again!”
“You will not allow it?” asked Chaldrin, his softened tone continuing even and remorseless. “In what manner do you believe you might halt it? Will you stand many of your wenches all about you when you sleep? Will you keep the same number about you when you walk the halls of this palace or the ways of this city? How many will you take should it be your desire to ride the forests hereabout? Think you such constant guarding will not be noted by those who follow you? Will you not lose face before them when they learn you fear the doings of ‘males’?”
“I fear the doings of no males!” I spat, my hands clenched into fists, the anger likely blazing from my eyes. “Nor do I need to be guarded! Jalav is able to see to herself!”
“Asleep as well as awake?” pursued the wretched male, undaunted by my anger, folding his massive arms deliberately across his chest. “In an untenanted corner of this place, where any might appear silently behind you? In the thick of the forests, where each bush you pass many conceal one waiting to leap upon your kan? Which of them attempts the thing first depends only upon which has the smaller amount of patience, which takes the idea first into his head. Is this what you wish?”
The words he spoke rendered me well-nigh speechless with anger. None other save males would consider the doings Chaldrin spoke of, yet was there a thing he had failed to recall.
“They shall not do as you suggest, for they may not,” I snarled, feeling the desire to rend and tear with teeth and claws. “I am war leader to all these Midanna hereabout, and must lead them in battle against the strangers. Neither Ceralt nor Mehrayn would see the battle lost merely to satisfy their own desires.”
“Indeed they would not,” returned Chaldrin immediately, the manner in which he refused to take his eyes from me bringing me increasing upset. “However, it must be recalled that one named Jalav was necessary to bring them together, yet now might any lead them. The presence or absence of one additional sword will not turn the battle, wench, and this they understand more clearly than you. Well might that one called Galiose be set in your place.”
“Galiose!” I echoed, so outraged that I nearly choked upon all I wished to say. Jalav unneeded, and Galiose to be set in her place? Chaldrin sought to give me outrage, as deliberately as Telion had sought to insult me, thinking I would likely speak agreement with his demands to keep so mindless a thing from occurring. He watched me carefully as I fought to separate one word from the next, faint amusement and hidden satisfaction in his gaze, while I strengthened my determination that never would I do as he wished.
“I shall not choose between them,” I said from teeth tightly clenched. “I shall not allow this—’inspection’—Galiose demands, and I shall not take notice of males I wish no part of. Jalav has spoken, and so shall it be!”
“Jalav is stubborn, and ever shall it be,” said the male, his rumble filled with great annoyance as he straightened even further where he stood. “I sought to guide you from the pit you stroll toward blindly, wench, yet do you refuse to open your eyes and see. As I have vowed to keep what harm from you I might, I must now see to the matter in another way. You will take yourself to the others and agree to the time among them, else shall I claim the right given me by you just after the battle with the followers of the foul Oneness.”
So strongly determined was the gaze now upon me that I blinked, taken aback by his unrelenting manner. Quite often had Chaldrin and I disagreed, yet he had not appeared as he did now since the time I had been captive to him in the Caverns of the Doomed.
“Have you learned me so poorly, brother?” I asked, faintly hurt that he would consider me as so many other, unknowing males did. “Do you believe the thought of pain to be given will turn me from the path I have chosen? Should this be your thought, do what you must; Jalav, too, does as she must.”
“Brother me no brother, wench,” said he, again with a growl. So large was the male, the massiveness of his muscles doing naught to slow him in battle, his agility remarkable both with sword and barehanded. Foolishly had I given him my let to take what vengeance he would from me, and now would he see the thing done with none to deny him. Foolish indeed was the war leader Jalav, who required the giving of pain and humiliation to keep firmly before her eyes the true nature of males.
“I have no need to hear of a bond between us, girl,” said he, lacking all sign of hesitation. “You think to bear what punishment I give you in silence, as you have done in the past, and then have it over and behind you. Perhaps you have forgotten what that punishment will be.”
His eyes sought memory of the vow he had given, that time in the forests in the dark before dawn, not far from the visiting place of those who had been enemy Midanna. He had learned then of Mehrayn’s doing, how the other male had taken me over his knee and brought a great ache to my bottom, and had nodded in approval and said he would do the same, yet not with so “light” a touch. Sooner would I have had the touch of a whip to my back, yet was there too little humiliation in a doing such as that for one who was male. I took my gaze from he who had once been leader of those in the Caverns of the Doomed and stared down instead upon the floor covering, speaking no word which might again be seized and used against me.
“I see you do indeed recall what punishment you must face,” came the grimly satisfied tones of Chaldrin as he stood before me, a faint stirring to be heard as he shifted in place.
“I have no doubt as to the silence it will be received with, and yet will silence avail you naught should the thing be done before the eyes of your wenches. How firm does your resolve stand now, sister?”
So great was the terrible shock I felt, that nearly did my breathing cease in the horrified stiffening of my body. Many and many a time had I been given such shame and humiliation by males that I thought myself unable to bear it, yet were those things as naught when compared to that which Chaldrin proposed. Of what use would I afterward be, if those who followed me were to see me done as a slave female of the cities, and then unable to even contemplate vengeance in the light of the vow I had taken? How might I ever again meet the eyes of any other, speak words as equals, seek out the companionship of those like myself? There would be none like myself, so terribly shamed that their souls had flamed to dark ashes and were no more, and also would there be none to lead the clans in battle. Each war leader would direct her clan sisters as she saw fit against the strangers, and so many would fall that even were victory to come, the Midanna would be no more. I put a trembling hand to the deep, burning illness in my middle, unable, through the wild, wailing scream in my mind, to conceive of any other movement or thought, and again words were directed toward me.
“You see, then, that you must obey me,” said the one who once had held my trust, the one who once had been looked upon by me as a brother. “The walking about will not be nearly so devastating an experience, and surely will you soon see of your own self the need for it. Once you have seen enough to speak a final word in choice, it will matter not if weapons are resorted to; you will have learned that Mehrayn’s is the truer love, that he alone merits your presence beside him. That other, that follower of the Oneness, will then be seen for what he is; should he be foolish enough to challenge the Sword he will fall, never again to bring you grief and harm, never again to cast confusion over your mind. You will then not seek to turn from Mehrayn for what he has done, but will see it as the only fitting reply to one who has caused you such pain. Would that I might do the thing myself.”