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“I really don’t know,” I replied, watching her go as well. “Things have been kinda shaky for a few months now, but I don’t know where I went wrong. She’s been acting weird.”

“Women,” Santino said mockingly. “What good are they, anyway?”

“Well, lots of things,” I told him, not rising to the bait. “They’re pretty to look at, fun to play with and are the vessels through which life is created.”

“That all?” Santino asked, unimpressed. “Anything else?”

“Well,” I thought about it, the last few months replaying in my mind. “Yeah… you’re probably right.”

“Like I said,” Santino finished with a wink, helpful as ever.

When the tavern door finally opened again, I folded my arms across my chest and waited patiently as the men responsible for a family’s murder and the kidnapping of their only daughter walked inside the room and approached our table. I put on my business face and shut down my emotions, allowing me the fortitude to do what I needed, no matter what that entailed.

I’d need to because we were going to change the timeline today, and even though I should, I couldn’t care less. Not when a young girl’s life was at stake.

The five men who walked in were tall, burly and had really bad blond hair — long and fizzed with gnarly curls — and only a few of them had all their teeth. They came bursting in as though they owned the joint, and didn’t even pause as they marched straight for my table. They stopped short with looks of anger and intimidation on their faces, but some with a hint of fear as well.

“You!” The lead man said in heavily accented Latin. “Vani. We were told we could find you here!”

Santino looked lazily at the speaker, his feet atop the table. “We’ve been here for two days, champ. Way to keep up.”

I smiled at my hand while I picked at some grime underneath my fingernails. I did my best to look uninterested. Santino took a long swig of the dry wine in his cup, his eyes still locked on the speaker.

The Gauls looked amongst themselves in confusion, unsure how to respond to such a statement. One of them, perhaps the dumbest of the group, had the bright idea of placing a hand on Santino’s shoulder. Santino reacted instantly, snatching the man’s hand in his own and twisting it violently while forcing his attacker to his knees. The wrist didn’t break, but the pain was so bad that Santino simply kicked the man to the ground with a light tap of his foot. The entire exercise went down all the while Santino took another pull of his wine.

The downed victim clutched his hand while the leader, who merely smiled, took a seat in the chair Helena had just vacated. He calmly folded his hands together and looked directly at me, ignoring Santino, who was once again preoccupied with the cute barmaid he had been flirting with earlier.

“If you are Vani,” he began, “what are you doing here with the likes of us?” He spread his left arm out to encompass the entirety of the bar, numerous heads turning to look in our directions.

The ones who did were the ones I’d earlier identified as potential problems.

I ignored him and held out my tumbler for Santino’s wench to refill as she sat perched on his lap. She laughed as he tickled her and I brought the cup to my lips, noticing the seated man’s patience wan and his hand move threateningly towards his lap. His body language suggested he was about to stand up, but I held up a hand to dissuade any aggression. Santino continued his games.

“There is no need for violence, gentlemen,” I informed them. “My name is Buzz, and this is my friend, Woody.” I gestured at Santino who smiled at the men stupidly. Their confusion was more evident than ever. I leaned in and lowered my voice just a bit. “I’ll just be honest with you. Life isn’t as exciting as it used to be and we’re not getting paid nearly what we want, so we’re seeking… alternative employment opportunities.”

“I find that difficult to believe,” the man in charge said as he sat back in his chair. His face seemed deep in thought, something I hadn’t been so sure he was capable of. But he must have run out of synapses quickly, as his face relaxed and he glanced between Santino and me. “Are there more of you?”

I shrugged. Between Santino, Helena and I, we’d never given anyone a real opportunity to tell how many of us there really were. Besides the quick regrouping here, the only time the three of us were together was when we were off on our own in the wilderness. Our missions were mostly conducted in pairs, consisting of the few combinations the three of us allotted. Because of our precaution, some people thought there were at least five of us, and I had heard the random rumor of as many as ten.

The man looked around skeptically, perhaps fearing how others would view him in the future were he to trust us, but we’d run into guys like him everywhere we went: leaders of small bandit groups with more balls than brains, and a lust for gold and riches that overwhelmed more rational thoughts.

He had been as good as convinced long ago.

“I’ve heard many rumors,” the man explained, “about your abilities and skills. Some even say you are gods.”

Roman gods, Greek gods, Gaulic gods, it didn’t matter. Everyone we ran into always jumped to that conclusion first, and we never gave them any reason to doubt it.

“We can demonstrate our worth if you require,” I told him. “But if you’re satisfied, I want fifty percent of all our earnings.”

My negotiating partner crossed his arms and looked up at his companions. Not a one said a thing but some glanced amongst themselves awkwardly. They’d all heard the stories as well and knew we’d be powerful allies… or deadly enemies.

“Thirty percent,” the man haggled.

“Fifty,” I said.

“Forty?” He asked, knowing full well where I was going.

“Fifty,” I repeated a final time.

The man looked beaten, but still pleased. “We must see what you can do first. Where?”

“Outside. Now.”

Taking my cue, Santino whispered in the barmaid’s ear, and she got off his lap to complete his request, pausing only slightly to giggle after Santino pinched her butt.

The Gaul didn’t look impressed.

“Why not here? Now?” The man asked.

He was cleverer than I thought.

“This tavern pleases me, as do its staff,” I said, throwing another wink at another waitress, a gesture I made sure he observed. “I would not like to inadvertently harm it or those within.”

“Why should gods worry about such things?”

“It’s not me that I’m worried about,” I said as I rose to my feet. “It’s you.”

Once outside, I immediately felt the chill of the April air against my skin.

I hated this time of year.

The weather was unpredictable and its spontaneity was too difficult for my body to keep up with, and I regularly felt either too warm or too cold. It was an annoying sensation for me, but I didn’t let it show on my face, for a god wouldn’t find discomfort in such things.

In the brief seconds it took for everyone to emerge from the tavern, I allowed myself the pleasure of taking in the view. Lush and beautiful, the alpine wonderland around us was breathtaking. The tavern sat on a small crest, a cliff that jutted from a small mountain, the first stop before continuing further up into larger and higher mountain ranges. It offered a perfect view of the city below and was an ideal place to rest before continuing the arduous hike upwards. Down the road, off in the distance, I could see the small town of Valentia at the foot of our mountain, little to see but with wide open vistas. Opposite the tavern was another steep hillside filled with trees that continued up into the mountains.

That’s where Helena would be.

I paused on a spot a few yards from the horses and indicated the Gauls should stop where they were, just a few feet away, between me and Helena.

“What now?” The leader asked.

“Patience,” I said.

Before the words escaped my mouth, Santino’s barmaid came running from inside, a large coconut in her hands. Where they’d found the coconut, I hadn’t a clue, my only guess revolving around migrating swallows. Whatever its origins, the young barmaid handed it to Santino and stepped up on her toes to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head at the last second and kissed her full on the lips. The small woman giggled again and her hands flew to her mouth. She scampered in place for another second before rushing back inside, Santino grinning after her.