“My first thought was that I could defeat them both in a fight. Look the hero to my girl. So I focused on the man with the gun, hoping he’d make the first move. He ordered me to take out my wallet and throw it on the ground. In retrospect, he seemed nervous. He kept his distance and never came any closer. I was such a fool. While I planned my assault, ignoring his demand, the second man stepped forward and hit my girl on the side of her head with the tire iron.”
He paused again, and invisible tears streamed from hardened eyes that would never allow overt emotions to present themselves.
“I threw them my money and they left, but she would never recover. I carried her to a hospital only to have the doctors tell me she was in a coma, and that they had no idea when she’d recover. Her parents arrived, only to blame me and banish me from the hospital, never allowing me to visit.” He expelled a lung full of breath as he recovered. “She’s still there. At least, she was before we came here. Her parents refused to take her off life support.
“I’ve been to see her on every anniversary of the incident, despite her parents’ wishes, until the day we came here. Her sister was always kind to me and helped me see her, but I… I don’t think I’ve ever told her how much I appreciated her for it.”
“I’m sorry, Vincent,” I said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I had no idea.”
“Very few do, Hunter, but the story is not yet complete. Two nights later, I tracked her assaulter down with the help of a friend in the police, and found him outside of a bar along with the gunman, and confronted them. I beat them both to within an inch of their lives. I can still remember as my fists drove home against their faces, pulverizing teeth and destroying bone…” his hand shook even more violently now. “I spent two hours keeping them awake before pummeling them again, just so I could do it all over again. The one who hadn’t done a thing ended up paralyzed, but both lived, and I didn’t care. I was nineteen years old. I knew then and there I was a different person.”
I was shocked. Beyond shocked. Vincent had always struck me as the most patient, calm and unflinching individual I’d ever met. A man who always did the right thing. He never doubted himself and always made rational decisions. I couldn’t imagine him doing anything like what he was describing.
“What happened?” I asked, incredulous.
“I ran away,” he answered sadly. “I broke down. The anguish I felt for her and the anger I felt at myself drove me into self-imposed exile. I wandered through Europe for over a year, working odd jobs, begging in the streets. I was a wreck. Then… one day, I came back. I saw my sweetheart in the hospital, visited my family and changed my life.”
“What made you come back?”
“I just realized one day that I’d made the wrong choice. In a time of great need, I pushed my friends and family away when I needed them most, and nearly killed two men because of it.”
It was at that point that I understood where he was coming from.
“Neither man had any family,” he continued, “and no charges were ever filed. My friend in the police saw to that. It wasn’t something I wanted, but it was the reality I had to accept. I reenlisted with the military for a few years before finally joining the Swiss Guard. My first thought was to become a priest, but I knew after what I’d done that I didn’t deserve it. So, I did the next best thing. It allowed me the opportunity to utilize the skills I learned in the military and surround myself in one of the most holy of atmospheres.
“I will tell you Jacob, the only people who have heard the entirety of this story are the priests I confessed this sin to on a near daily basis, and you.”
I sighed, weary of hard choices and tough situations. I didn’t know why life decided to play such cruel tricks on me, on anyone really, but Vincent’s story reminded me I wasn’t alone. There were others with their own demons to battle and burdens to bear.
“Thank you for your candor, Vincent, but what made you decide to tell me?”
“Well, I think you deserved to know anyway, but,” he said with a look towards the stars, “you should know that I already knew what happened between you and Agrippina. Helena spoke to me about it early yesterday morning. Told me to be ready because she knew you’d come to me.”
“She did, did she?” I asked with a smirk, not even close to surprised.
“She did,” he confirmed. “Like I told you, Jacob, she’s a very special woman. You’d do well to remember that. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Talk to her. Use her. She wants you to. We all do. When you’ve done that, you can come back, and maybe I can help a bit too. But she’s the one you really want to listen to.”
Our campfire had been entertaining me quite a bit that night, and I found myself staring at it once again, having never grown so fascinated by it than I was just now. Vincent’s words weren’t anything new. Helena had told me the same exact thing months ago under Galba’s bed. There, we’d aired our grievances, but never worked through them. That was also a mistake, and I couldn’t start throwing everything new concerning Agrippina under the bed now, especially when now was the time to confront them most of all.
“Thanks, Vincent,” I said, turning back to him with a wry look on my face. “I knew talking to you would help.”
He smiled and stuck out his remaining hand, which I grasped firmly.
“So did Helena. Just remember. We all have our good moments and our bad, and some are worse than others, but regardless of which decides to surface at any given time, it’s how we handle them that define who we are.”
I released his hand and stood up from my log.
“I’ll remember that,” I said, turning back to my tent, “enjoy the rest of your night.”
“Easy for you to say,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’m getting too old for watch detail this early in the morning.”
I laughed and left the older man to wait out his remaining time before taking over for Wang.
My walk back to the tent was a slow one but once inside, I pulled off my boots and removed my fleece coat. The chill hit me like a swarm of daggers until I found my way under my sleeping bag, which Helena was keeping nice and warm. I rested my head on the pillow just briefly before deciding to shift up close to Helena and wrap my arms around her, holding her close and tight. I brushed some hair away from her neck, and kissed it, knowing my subtle touch would do little to jar her awake.
But after only the one kiss, she shifted where she lay and hummed pleasantly to herself.
“That feels nice, Jacob,” she said softly. “You must have had a good talk then.”
“You know,” I said, leaning up over her, “for a woman who could sleep through the apocalypse, you have an interesting talent for being awake exactly when I need you to be.”
She squirmed in my arms, and shifted onto her other shoulder. She pulled herself close, pressing her cheek against my bare chest. “That’s because I love you, Jacob.”
“I know, Helena, and that’s why I want to talk to you.”
“Right now?” She asked
“Right now.”
She pulled back and looked up, using her hand to tilt my head down so that she could kiss me. She smiled at me and pulled away, resting her head against my chest again and closed her eyes.
“I’m ready, Jacob. Always.”
And we talked.
And talked.
We talked until dawn.
We spent hours going over how I felt about Agrippina and what happened aboard that barge. She was quiet at first, but our talk quickly became one of the most heartfelt conversations of my life. I almost broke down again, not out of anger or even sadness, but just out of plain happiness at how lucky I was for having someone like Helena. She didn’t try to shower me with advice or attempt to justify what had happened to me. Didn’t explain that it was all the orb’s fault and none of my own. Nor did she have suggestions for what to do in the future. She did none of those things, the things most people hated to receive when seeking solace in another person’s company.