It was not the role in which he saw himself. Usually he could lead his mind away from thoughts of disloyalty to himself. But there was the evidence in very fact; he had signed his name to that paper indicating that he did not consider himself bound to Katharine.
It was policy. His father had insisted and he had to obey his father who was more than an ordinary father; he was the King. A true knight obeyed his king without question. No, not when the case was a dishonorable one. Then a good and true knight rebelled. He served God first, the King second. Whichever way Henry looked at it he came up against his conscience.
It was the first time in his life that he realized what a strong force that was with him. He wanted to be above all other men and recognized to be so. He had little patience with the saints. He wanted to be a man. He must be the superior every time—in stature, in looks, in skill both mental and physical. He must excel at the joust; he was always to be the victor; he must win every battle against his adversaries. He must possess the best qualities of all his most illustrious ancestors. He must tower above them all in every way.
He wanted people to admire him. To look up to him. To say: There is a king victorious always, never failing in war . . . in peace . . . in honor.
There was the rub. He had gone through what was tantamount to a marriage ceremony with Katharine; and now he had denied it; and he knew why. It was because her mother was dead and the Kingdom of Castile had not passed to Katharine’s father Ferdinand (which would have meant Katharine remained an important factor in policy making), but had gone to Isabella’s sister who had an ambitious husband. Therefore Katharine was no longer to be considered so the King had forced his son most cynically to repudiate her.
And I did it, thought Henry.
Katharine was never far from his thoughts. He was ashamed of his action and as it was against his policy ever to be in the wrong he began to look for excuses for his conduct. It was no use telling himself that his father had forced him to do it, because it destroyed his image of himself if he allowed himself to be forced. That was why the matter was so disturbing. There had to be a reason why he had done what he had and it had to be a good one. His conscience demanded that.
It came in due course.
It was Charles Brandon who found it for him—not that Charles knew it. Charles was a gossip and took great delight in gathering the secrets of those about him. He had always been particularly interested in Katharine not only because she was affianced to Henry and was destined to become the future Queen, but because she belonged to one of the most important Houses in Europe.
Now he talked a great deal about the death of Isabella and the difference this would make in Spain.
“They say the Princess Katharine is desolate. She and her mother were on the best of terms.”
Henry frowned; he remembered that Katharine had asked her mother to send for her, to take her back to Spain which meant of course that she preferred that to marrying him.
That had been unflattering; but it was not enough excuse for breaking his sworn promise to her. His conscience would not accept that—although he had tried hard to make it do so.
“And the Kingdom of Castile goes to Katharine’s sister . . . mad Juana, they call her.”
“Is she truly mad?”
“Mad indeed. There is madness in the family.”
Hope shone in Henry’s eyes, but this was dispelled immediately by Brandon’s light remark: “Well, is there not madness somewhere in most families?”
“It is a wonder,” said Henry, “that they allowed her to marry.”
“Who would not marry a mad woman for the sake of a crown?”
Henry shivered.
“Philip has her under control. They say he is extremely handsome.”
“Is he, do you think?”
“Oh yes. Undoubtedly so. Juana is possessively in love. She cannot bear him out of her sight.”
“She is a warm-hearted lady.”
“My dear Prince, she burns with passion,” Charles laughed. “I should like to meet her. Do you know the latest story about her? I have it on good authority and can swear to the truth of it. Philip indulges himself, you know. He is not the man to content himself with one woman . . . even if she had been a paragon of the virtues . . . which Juana is not.”
“She loves him passionately, you say?”
“Passionate possessive love becomes cloying . . . as no doubt you will learn one day, my Prince. There is no doubt that you are going to be the target of much tender passion.”
Henry glowed with pleasure at the prospect.
“But steer clear of women like Juana.”
“What is this story you have heard?”
“Oh it is about Philip’s mistress. She was very very beautiful with the longest most luxuriant golden hair ever seen in the land. Philip doted on her and Juana was furiously jealous. Well, Philip had to leave Court for a while. Juana then . . . remember she is the Queen in her own right and I’ll swear she has inherited something of her mother’s authoritative ways . . . well, she summoned the woman to her palace.”
“And the woman went?”
“It was impossible for her to do otherwise. How could she disobey the royal command?”
“And then?”
“Juana had her bound hand and foot, called in the barbers and had them cut off that beautiful golden hair. In fact they shaved her head. . . .”
Henry was aghast. “She did that. And Philip . . . what of Philip?”
“When he came back he was horrified. I think it was the end of that mistress. Hair takes a long time to grow and he is not a man to stand still, they say. But it did not endear his wife to him . . . and everyone who knows her says she is quite insane. . . .”
“And this is Katharine’s sister. . . .”
“Katharine is quite different. Juana is the only one to inherit the madness. There is nothing of the wild woman about Katharine. I hear she is very devout and spends a great deal of time on her knees. I even hear that she expressed a desire to give herself up to a life of prayer.”
“What when she marries?”
Brandon laughed aloud. “Alas, her poor husband! But I’ll swear if he is the man I believe him to be he will see that she gives up quite a bit of time to other activities.”
Henry laughed with Brandon but he was thinking: a life of prayer! How could a woman do her duty to her husband and the state by living like a nun? It would be a good excuse for not marrying at all.
His conscience liked the idea. He brooded on it. What Katharine had said—or what he had heard she had said—meant that the life she would prefer was that of a nun.
He had no intention of telling anyone what he was thinking. He did not want an avowal from Katharine that the stories circulated about her were untrue and that she was ready to be all that was expected of a wife when the time came.
Henry wanted to put it on paper that he had had a good reason for doing what he did. He wanted to be able to proclaim to the world that the marriage with Katharine of Aragon would not be good for the state. He had not repudiated her for any personal reasons and certainly not because he was afraid to stand up to his father for what was right.
Then the idea came to him. He would write to the Pope. He would tell no one. But his letter would be there on record if ever he was called on to answer for his action.
He made several drafts of the letter and finally produced one which he could send. In it he told Pope Julius that Katharine had made a vow dedicating herself to an austere life. She would fast, and give up her time to prayers and pilgrimages. He asked the Pope to forbid her to do this as such practices would injure her health and possibly affect her ability to bear children. He was deeply concerned about this as it would in time be his duty to get heirs for England; and if Katharine would not give up this way of life marriage would be impossible.