Jiazhen really listened — she stood right up. I said, “What the hell did you come here for? Hurry up and go home.”
When I finished with what I had to say, I just ignored her and watched Long Er raise the dice above his head, shaking them a few times as if he were praying to the Buddha. As soon as he threw them down, his face lost all color.
“Rubbing too many women’s asses must bring bad luck,” he said.
As soon as I realized I had won again, I said, “Long Er, you’d better go wash your hands.”
Long Er laughed as he said, “After you wipe your mouth clean, we’ll see.”
Jiazhen tugged on my clothes. As soon as I looked I realized she was kneeling again. She quietly pleaded, “Come home with me.”
Go home with a woman? If Jiazhen wasn’t intentionally trying to make a fool out of me, I didn’t know what she was doing. All at once my temper flared. I looked at Long Er and the others— they were all laughing at me. I screamed at Jiazhen, “Take your ass home!”
But Jiazhen persisted. “You come with me.”
I slapped her twice, and her head swayed back and forth like a toy rattle. After having been hit, she still kneeled there, saying, “I won’t get up until you agree to come home with me.”
It hurts to think about it now. When I was young I was a real asshole. A great woman like that, and I hit and kicked her. But no matter how hard I hit her, she just kneeled there and wouldn’t get up. In the end I would grow tired of hitting her. Her hair was a mess, and tears were running down her face. I took a handful of the money I had just won and gave it to two of the guys who were standing there watching. I had them carry Jiazhen away. As they left I told them, “The farther the better!”
As Jiazhen was carried out, her hands firmly clasped her protruding belly, which held my son. She didn’t scream or yell. She was carried out to the main street, where the two men left her. Leaning against the wall to support herself, she struggled to get to her feet. By then it was completely dark out. She slowly made her way home. Years later, when I looked back on that incident, I asked Jiazhen whether she hated me back then. She shook her head, “No.”
Wiping the tears from her face, my wife passed the entrance to her father’s rice shop. She stood there a long time watching the silhouette of her father’s face reflected on the wall by the kerosene lamp. She knew that he was checking the accounts. After standing there for a while, lost in her tears, she left.
That night Jiazhen walked over ten li 2 in the dark to get home. All alone, and more than seven months pregnant with Youqing, she walked that wet, bumpy road home, with dogs barking after her the whole way.
A few years before, Jiazhen had been a student. At the time there was a night school in town. Jiazhen, carrying a kerosene lamp and wearing a moon white cheongsam, was going to class with a few of her girlfriends. I saw her while I was turning a corner; she walked over with a swing in her step. The sound of her high-heeled shoes tapping the stone pavement was like the sound of falling rain. Jiazhen was really beautiful back then, and my eyes froze on her. Her hair was neatly combed behind her ears, and when she walked her cheongsam would crease at the waist. I thought to myself, I want her to be my wife.
After Jiazhen and her friends passed by giggling, I asked a cobbler sitting on the ground nearby, “Whose daughter is that?”
“That’s the rice dealer Chen Ji’s daughter,” the cobbler said.
As soon as I got home I told my mom, “Quick, find a match-maker. I want to marry the daughter of the rice shop owner, Mr. Chen.”
The night after Jiazhen was carried off, my luck started to go sour. I lost a whole bunch of games in a row. Before my eyes, the pile of money I had accumulated disappeared like the water you wash your feet in. Long Er couldn’t stop giggling — his face was almost disfigured from his excessive laughing. My losing streak lasted until sunrise. I gambled until my head was dizzy, my vision blurry and I burped up smelly gas from my stomach. Finally I bet the biggest stakes I had ever risked in my life. I wet my hands with my saliva thinking that the fruits of a thousand springs were resting on this throw. Just as I was about to throw the dice, Long Er stretched out his hand to stop me. “Slow down.”
Long Er waved to one of the waiters, saying, “Give Master Xu a hot towel.”
It was then that the people watching went back to sleep. Aside from Long Er’s two right-hand men, the only people paying attention were the people at the gambling table. Later I learned that Long Er had bought off that waiter. The waiter handed me a hot towel, and, as I wiped my face, Long Er secretly switched the dice to a pair he had tampered with. I didn’t notice a thing. After wiping my face I threw the towel down on the tray. Then I picked up the dice and shook them with all my might. After throwing them I thought, not bad, a pretty big number.
When it was Long Er’s turn, he let everything ride on number seven. He cupped his hands, then tightly clasped them together, yelling, “Seven.”
One of the dice had a hole dug out of it and was filled with mercury. When Long Er’s hands met and the dice came together, the mercury in the fixed die fell to the bottom. He tossed the die and, after rolling over a few times, it stopped on seven.
As soon as I saw that it was a seven, my head began to pound. This time I lost bad. But when I thought again I figured, it’s okay, I can play on credit, and then I’ll have a chance at winning everything back like I always did. Feeling a bit relieved I said to Long Er, “Put it down in the book.”
Long Er waved for me to sit down and said, “I can’t let you play on credit anymore. You’ve already lost your family’s 100 mu of land. If I extend your credit, what will you use to pay me back?”
When I heard Long Er’s words I violently cut off my yawn before it was finished.
“That’s impossible,” I stuttered. “It can’t be.”
Long Er and two other creditors took out the account book and systematically went through it with me. Then Long Er patted me on the head, saying, “Young master, take a good look. The signatures are all written in your hand.”
I suddenly realized that six months ago I had begun to owe them, and in the past six months I had gambled away all the property my ancestors had left. After going through half the books I said to Long Er, “Don’t bother counting.”
I stood back up and, like a diseased chicken, walked out of the House of Qing. By then it was already light out. I stood in the middle of the street, not knowing where to go. Someone I knew carrying a basket of bean curd brightly called out to me, “Good morning, Mr. Xu!”
His voice nearly scared the hell out of me, and I blankly stared back at him. His eyes squinted as he smiled, and he said, “Look at you! You look like shit!”
He thought I’d worn myself out with those women. He didn’t realize that I was bankrupt, as poor as a hired worker. I forced a smile as I watched him saunter away. I figured it was a bad idea to stand there, so I started to walk.
I made my way over to my father-in-law’s rice shop, where two workers were replacing a door panel. When they saw me they started to laugh — they thought I was going to yell out “good morning” to my father-in-law again. But where would I have had the courage or strength for that? I drew my head back and, staying close to another house, quickly passed by. I heard my father-in-law inside coughing followed by the “puh” sound of him spitting on the floor.