“Captain,” Sauna said, “This is Ed and Ted.”
Both men waved and said hello in voices an octave higher than I’d anticipated. Oh, boy. My crew was growing quirkier as of late. I wondered how Ed and Ted would react once they eventually stumbled in on Sauna entertaining himself. Then again, maybe he’d be more discreet with them around. That would be an improvement.
“Hello. I’m Captain Dyne Lavere.” I shook hands with both of them. “So why do you want to work for the Pertinacious?”
Ed, the leaner one, spoke. “We need work back on the ocean. The land life doesn’t suit us. We tried the mills but it’s just not the same.”
“Yeah,” Ted agreed.
“So what happened to your last job before the mills?”
Ted said, “The captain just ignored us when we told him the prop shaft was cracked and needed replacing. Said it’d hold.”
Grinning, Ed said, “Never said for how long.” They both laughed. “But the boat scraped out a whole two weeks, then bam. The shaft shattered and tore up the engine room. The prop slid off and the boat sank, ass first.”
“We were lucky to get out alive.”
“Yeah,” Ed said.
I said, “Where’d you go down?”
“Two hundred yards from shore. Florida Keys.”
“Such a shame,” Ted said, no remorse in his voice.
“Yeah. Oh, well. He got what he deserved for not listening to us.”
“Well I take much better care of my ship,” I said, fully aware of how ragged, dented, and patched her exterior was. The interior was kept to a far higher standard. If I didn’t, I’d have ended up like Mr. Keys long ago. “She just needs a paint job. I’ll have Sauna show you below deck if we get that far.” She was in dire need of a paint job. I was fond of my dents—the patches not so much—but it all gave her character. “Well, we’ve covered your mechanical experience satisfactorily enough. Tell me about your fighting skills. This is a dangerous job.”
“We know,” the both said.
Ted, the bulkier one, said, “We’ve got some battle scars.” He pulled up his sleeve and showed a chunk missing from his shoulder. Ed lifted his shirt a little, showing a scar right over a kidney. That was a dangerously close one. They straightened out their t-shirts and leather vest jackets.
“So you can survive,” I said. “That’s one half the battle. Care to demonstrate your fighting skills?”
“On each other?” Ed said, looking eager to prove himself.
“Nah. Put your stuff down. Swords too.” I crossed to the weapon box sitting up against my wheelhouse and drew out two wood practice swords. “Sauna, go get Sam and Jessie.”
Sauna ran to the stern and shouted for Sam, then waved Jessie over, who was hovering near Sam.
I held out a sword. “I don’t care who goes first. Sam’s of average skill. If you can put up a good fight against him, then you’ll be competent enough to have a long life on my ship.”
“Fair enough,” Ted said, taking the wooden blade.
“You are one of the most successful captains out there,” Ed said. “You have a lot of people who’d love to see your ship at the bottom of the ocean.”
“Do you share that view?” I asked earnestly. It was a fair question, but it was fun to catch people off guard. It made both men flinch. Their reaction made it obvious it hadn’t crossed their minds to hate me, but I’d let them speak for themselves.
“Course not!” Ed said. “We don’t wish harm on anyone. We fight only when we have to.”
“We’re mechanics; not killers,” Ted said.
“Good to hear.” I believed them both. I’d hire them if they passed the last two tests.
Sauna jogged over with Sam and Jessie right behind him. Sam was somewhere around forty, his sandy hair still free of grey, and his skin was tanned, hardened, and wrinkled from a life of working under the sun.
“Men, this is Sam,” I said, gesturing to my cargo pusher. “Sam, this is Ed and Ted, our prospective techies.” The men greeted each other. I held out a sword to Sam, who took it and marched over to some open space on the deck. Ted joined him and they formally crossed swords. Jessie stood in my peripheral, looking quite confused.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Job interview.”
Ted went on the attack, testing Sam’s defenses for weak spots. Sam had solid defense, but was a bit stronger guarding his left. After thirty seconds of Ted going purely on the attack, he seemed to have figured that out, too. He kept circling Sam, but my cargo pusher used well-practiced footwork to keep Ted where he wanted him. Ted began frowning as he concentrated, trying to get inside Sam’s defenses. They tangled up a couple of times, but they both pushed each other away each time.
After the third tangle and push, Ted ran back in with an overhead flourish. Sam raised his sword, opening himself for the kick that followed. He reflexively doubled over. Ted pretended to decapitate him, then patted him on the shoulder. “You alright, Sam?”
Sam straightened up and nodded. “Yeah. Lemme catch my breath real quick.”
Ted handed his sword off to Ed. Great start so far. Both men had made each other work. This would be interesting to see how much faster Ed could move with less muscle to throw around.
Ed stood with his sword ready and his free hand behind his back, his feet defensively close but ready to spring to action. “Let me know when you’re ready.”
Sam popped him a glare to cover his injured pride. He lunged, sword leading the way.
I thought Sam had him, but Ed sidestepped the frontal assault, spun in place, and horizontally mock-slashed Sam across his back. A real blow would’ve severed anyone’s spine.
Sam heaved a sigh. “Well that was embarrassingly quick.” He turned around, switched sword hands, and exchanged a handshake with both interviewees. “Will that be all, Captain?”
“Yes. Go finish helping load the boat.”
Sam collected Ed’s sword and stowed both weapons in the crate, then walked off while rubbing his stomach.
I looked at Ed and Ted, who both wore confident smiles. “I have one last question for both of you. Do you have reservations against being on a ship with a woman on board?”
They both gave me looks that said they thought I was an idiot for asking that, then they faced Jessie and bowed.
“Not at all,” Ted said.
Ed drew closer and held out a hand. Jessie hesitated. Fear played across her face, wiping Ed’s smile away. “What’s wrong, hun?”
She studied him a moment, then realization played across her face. She visibly relaxed. “Nothing. I’m Jessie.” She offered her hand.
“Ed.” He took her hand in both of his and kissed it.
“And I’m Ted.” He took a turn kissing her hand as well. She didn’t flinch or start flailing. Good. Maybe they’d straighten out Sauna and make Jessie feel safer and more welcome.
“I think we’ll get along like peas in a pod,” Ed said merrily. “So will you take us, Captain?”
I pretended to consider the question, just a subtle reminder of who was in control of the situation. Things had to happen at my pace; not anyone else’s. It was a trick I learned back in my youth while training to become a skipper. “Yes you are. We’ll take care of the paperwork on land. Do you have any questions before I take care of other business?”