“Ya regreso, Captain.”
“No need.” I fought the urge to laugh at his movements, which were basically a pirouette. He’d turned turned for the weapon crate, then turned around again before he could take a step. His arms had even raised a little to keep his balance. I walked towards the intruder, both curious and angry. We were still thirty yards away when I realized we had a woman on board. Oh, boy. Where the heck did she come from, and why was she here? She couldn’t have picked a worse time to grace a bunch of sailors with her presence.
I walked more toe-heel than heel-toe so my boots soundlessly trod the deck. Sauna was unconsciously doing the same. Once we were within five feet of her, we stopped in unison. The lady was short and lithe in her baggy, ripped up shirt and gaucho pants. She had brown and black sneakers that looked like they were supposed to be white under all that filth.
“Hello there, lady.”
Her long black hair whipped around like an Asian fan as she spun her body. She put her fists up and backed into the railing.
“What on earth are you doing on my ship?”
“Trust me, I don’t want to be here.” Her voice wavered, and then I noticed her tanned face was red from crying.
Well, isn’t that the interesting answer? I sized up her taut frame. “Then why are you here? Don’t you know sailors think it’s bad luck to have a woman on board? And right now my crew and I are feeling extra superstitious.”
“Go to hell!” The lady lunged and pushed me onto my rear, then socked Sauna in the gut. Too shocked to react, I watched her hair and rags flap around in the wind as she headed for the bow. No, wait, the wheelhouse! I got to me feet, rubbed the dull pain out of my rear, then together Sauna and I ran after her. She was a fast thinker but not a fast runner. We made it up the stairs leading to the wheelhouse right as she slammed the door shut behind her. I slammed against the door as she locked it, then Sauna slammed against me. My face made a lovely smear of oil and dead skin cells on the glass.
The lady laughed at us, then stood before the wheel. “This is my ship now. Enjoy the ride!” She undid my autopilot wood and swung the frigate due west.
Well, well. Ballsy one, isn’t she? If I had a heart, even I could fall in love with a broad like that. She was pretty enough to bang, despite her terrible getup and disheveled hair.
“Captain, what do we do? This is strong glass.”
“Oh, just let her enjoy herself a minute. I have the key to the wheelhouse, remember? Go eat. I’ll take care of this.”
Sauna gently punched himself in the forehead, then headed down the stairs. I looked inside the wheelhouse. The lady was thoughtful enough to flip me off as she popped a triumphant smile. I smiled back as I fished out my keys, then held them in front of me and jingled them. Her smile vanished. Her eyes darted around the wheelhouse.
No, lady. My chair is bolted to the floor. Don’t even try it. She tried anyway, made her face a little redder, then grabbed my auto pilot wood. She looked at them, then threw them on the floor. She kept glancing at me while she searched the drawers for, I guess, something to keep the door wedged closed. She went through all ten drawers and snarled after finding nothing useful. When she swiped all my nautical charts on the floor, I shoved the correct key into the knob. I had those damn things in a particular order. Now I’d have to reorganize them again.
The lady threw herself against the door as I turned the knob. I paused. “Really? Do you ever think anything through?”
“I’ll kick your ass if you get in.”
Nope, she doesn’t. “Fair enough.” I threw my weight against the door right as she locked it again, causing me to make a second smear on the glass. I smiled, hoping it came off as a look of death to her. She grabbed the doorknob with both hands and braced herself against the door, her shoulders level with the knob. I twisted the key a second time and turned the knob as she fumbled for the lock. But I had her. I heaved the door open and sent her reeling into my bolted down chair. She clung to it, and then lunged at me. I blocked one fist, then caught her other wrist. She proceeded to swing at me with her free hand but I caught that one right after she made my left ear ring. I clamped both her wrists in one hand and felt up a breast with the other. I couldn’t help it. It’d been over a month since the last time a pair of breasts were this close to me. She smelled like sex and sweat.
The touch of a hand on her personal space sent the lady into a frenzy. She yanked both wrists out of my grasp and kicked me in the groin. I dropped, clutching my crotch, and she pounded on me as I lay on the floor. Her punches stung enough to know I’d be sporting a bunch of bruises later. I rolled onto my back and hoped she’d go for more than my face. To my great luck, she punched me in the cheek with one hand, then right where my gun was with the other. She let out a cry of pain, then clamped her hand and sucked on her knuckles. After the initial sting subsided she pulled open my coat and barely stopped herself in time from touching my gun. She let go as if my coat burned her hand and backed into the far side of the wheelhouse, her dark eyes quite wide open.
“You… why? Why do you?” She pointed to where my gun was concealed and sank to the floor.
With one hand still over my crotch, I sat up and dragged myself over to the door, closed and leaned against it. Where the heck did she learn to be such a ruthless fighter? “I’m the captain of this ship. I’ll be the one asking questions. Start explaining yourself.”
Chapter 3
Amphitrite
The woman stared at my trench coat, clutching her knuckles as she caught her breath. I waited for her to say something intelligent but she began to take on the demeanor of a rodent caught in a trap and going into shock. “What are you doing on my ship, lady?”
The words snapped her out of her increasingly catatonic state. Her dark eyes regained their fiery glare. “I already told you I don’t want to be here!”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Getting away from Tethys. Got a problem with that?”
Well that explained why there’d been a grappling hook so far away from the fighting. I’d noticed it when running from Tethys but hadn’t given it any thought until just now. “Definitely not. I hope he drowns one day.”
The lady, whatever her name was, gave me one of those smiles that conveyed she was in accord, that she might even have started liking me a little. “Good.” I didn’t care if she liked me. She needed to be deposited in Port Chesapeake so she could find a real chauffeur.
“So what were you doing on his ship?”
She unconsciously covered her chest and curled into a ball, her chin pinned to her sternum. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m never going back.” Her voice had gotten all tight when she spoke, which clued me in on the fact that her stay hadn’t been a pleasant one.
“That doesn’t answer my second question.”
Her sharp gaze melted into a red, watery-eyed one. “He’s a pig and I’m a thing with a hole. Use your imagination.” She tightened her body into a more compact ball, her jaw muscles flexing hard as she fought back tears.
For half a second I felt bad for having grabbed her breast, but remembered my hand over my crotch, pain still aplenty. Sure, feeling her up didn’t make me much better than Tethys. But still, I’d never forced myself on a woman. I never would. That’s one thing men should never do. If I ever came across Tethys again, I’d personally drown him without his dick attached.
It was only half surprising that someone like Tethys would resort to rape to get some action. Despite my subpar, scruffy appearance, brothels were full of women eager to brag about having slept with a captain of a steam frigate. We were a rare breed of macho man. I passed a hand over the stubble of my beard as I looked over my strewn charts. Heck, even crew members were brag-worthy, but slightly less. Steam frigate crews had to be tough and strong. So many pirates and black market mercenaries. That and we were the only people keeping international trade alive, even Tethys. I guess people could call us heroes, if they were into that kind of fantastical sappy crap.