Arabella roused herself from her morose thoughts long enough to smile. It was good to see Tess laughing and enjoying life for a change, since she’d been in mourning for the past two years. Before her engagement had ended with the death of her betrothed in the terrible Battle of Waterloo, no one had been more lively and high-spirited than Tess. That she was now showing some of her once customary gaiety suggested that she finally had resolved to rejoin the living.
Perhaps a quarter hour later, Tess tore herself away from the lake battle and made her way, breathless with laughter, to where Arabella sat all alone.
“I have come to recruit you to our side, Arabella,” Tess said, extending her hands down as if to pull Arabella to her feet. “We need you for reinforcements.”
Arabella returned a wan smile. “Thank you, but I have no desire to become drenched, as you are. I endured more than enough soaking last week when I chased after Sybil in an atrocious thunderstorm.”
Tess cast an amused glance over her shoulder to eye Sybil, who was primly wandering the gardens under the strict dictates of Lady Freemantle. “Your sacrifice was obviously worthwhile. Sybil’s reputation was saved along with our academy’s. Even better, she is so disquieted by the possibility of being expelled that her behavior has become perfectly angelic. I vow I don’t recognize her anymore.” Tess returned her attention to Arabella. “Come now, the sun is warm enough to dry your gown quickly. I won’t allow you to mope on such a glorious day.”
When Arabella refused to respond, Tess frowned and sank down to sit on the grass beside her. “What is wrong, dearest? You have been perfectly miserable ever since Lord Danvers left for London.”
Wincing, she looked away. It was vexing to admit how wretched she’d felt since Marcus left. She had hoped her life would return to normal, but her hopes had proved futile, since everywhere she turned, she found reminders of him. Her misery was compounded by the fact that she hadn’t heard a word from him or his solicitors in all that time.
“Perhaps I am sickening with an ague,” Arabella prevaricated.
Tess gave her a penetrating look. “Perhaps you are lovesick.”
Unable to deny the charge, she returned a humorless laugh. “Is my condition so obvious?”
“Your unhappiness is obvious, at least.” Tess’s gaze searched her face. “But are you certain it is love you feel for him, Arabella, and not just a powerful physical attraction? It isn’t merely infatuation?”
She had little doubt of her feelings for Marcus, Arabella reflected, but it would be good to talk about her dilemma with someone who could understand. Tess knew about true love, since she had been sincerely in love with her betrothed. “I believe it is love, but how does one tell?”
Her friend’s gaze grew thoughtful. “The signs are usually recognizable. When you love a man, he becomes the center of your world. You yearn to be with him, and when you are not, he is constantly on your mind. He brightens your day. His simplest touch sparks passion in you…a tender look fires a warmth in your heart. Life feels empty without him.” Tess paused. “Is that how you feel about Lord Danvers, Arabella?”
Gazing down at her clasped fingers, Arabella nodded. That was precisely how she felt about Marcus, including the emptiness. Since he’d been gone, the hollow feeling inside her chest was a relentless ache that wouldn’t go away.
“You miss him sorely, don’t you?” Tess prodded in a sympathetic tone.
“Yes.” She missed him dreadfully.
“So what do you intend to do about it?”
Arabella gave a helpless laugh. “I don’t know.”
“Do you think he might love you in return?” Tess asked.
“He claimed he does.”
Tess stared. “Lord Danvers actually told you he loves you?”
“Yes…last week, just after we returned from rescuing Sybil. But I wouldn’t believe him. I feared he was just saying so to persuade me to accept his proposal.”
Her friend hesitated. “Arabella, he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man to declare his love without meaning it. I doubt he has ever made such a confession to any other woman.”
“No, I suspect not.”
“So how did you respond to his declaration?”
She flushed at the memory. “I’m afraid I panicked. That was the moment I realized I loved him, and I was suddenly terrified. I told Marcus that I had won the wager and wouldn’t marry him. That he would be better off leaving at once.”
“So that is why he left Danvers Hall? You drove him away?”
“Yes.”
“Well,” Tess said slowly, “it is not too late to mend matters. Not if you love each other.”
The stab of panic returned to lodge in Arabella’s chest. “But that is the problem, don’t you see? I can’t be certain of his love. And even if he does love me a little now, how do I know his feelings will last? There is nothing more hurtful than loving someone and not being loved in return. I know because I have experienced it.”
Tess shook her head. “Viscount Underwood was clearly not worthy of your love, but I believe Lord Danvers is. You must think so too, or you would never have allowed your affection to go so far. Isn’t that so?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love him as much as you loved Underwood?”
“Much more.” Her love for Marcus was far stronger than her first love had ever been, which meant the devastation would be far greater if it turned out to be one-sided.
“Then perhaps you should accept his proposal,” Tess said.
Arabella sent her friend a despairing glance. “Marriage would only make any disparity worse. My mother loved my father initially, and look where their marriage ended.”
“But from everything you have told me, your parents were a terrible mismatch. You and Lord Danvers are much better suited.”
“Why do you say so?”
Tess smiled. “I have seen you together, the way you are with him. The way you look at each other. A fire lights in your eyes when you look at him, did you know?”
It was Arabella’s turn to stare.
Tess went on. “As surprised as I am to admit this, I think he could be the ideal match for you. You would always keep him challenged and interested, and he would do the same for you.”
Arabella shook her head in denial. “I cannot be sure of that.”
“No, I suppose you cannot. But we can never be sure of anything in life, Arabella. And the chance for love is worth the risk of being hurt. Do you really want to give up hope for your future because of what happened in the past?”
Twisting her fingers in her lap, Arabella looked away. Marcus had accused her of letting fear rule her, and she knew it was true; she feared being hurt again. But she was already hurting dreadfully. How could the pain be any greater than what she felt right now?
When she remained silent, Tess asked quietly, “If you could be certain he loved you, would you marry him?”
“Yes,” she finally murmured.
Tess sighed. “Well, you will have to decide for yourself, but I don’t think you will be happy without him. And I don’t think he will wait forever for you to make up your mind.” Climbing to her feet, she gazed down at Arabella, her voice softening. “I believe you should take the risk and accept his proposal, Arabella. True love is too precious to waste. I would give anything to have that chance again.”
Turning away, Tess left Arabella struggling with her warring emotions.
True love is too precious to waste. If that was so, then she would be an utter fool to let her fear of being hurt again prevent her from seeking happiness with Marcus.
Wanting privacy to settle her agitated thoughts, Arabella departed early for home before the tea even began, leaving her sisters and Tess to supervise the event. When she reached the Hall and spied a carriage bearing the Danvers crest standing in the drive, her heart leapt. Marcus had returned!