I held her back. “Don't. It isn't safe to let him go. He tried to kill me.”
“He's hurt—”
“He'll live. I was just about to find him a doctor. I don't suppose you know anything about medicine…?”
“A little.” She knelt beside him, pressing one hand to his forehead. Then, with the hem of her gown, she wiped a line of drool from his chin.
“He's been badly beaten,” she said. “Who attacked him? King Uthor's men?”
“I'm afraid it was me.” It came out apologetic. “I didn't have a choice, though. He was trying to kill me.”
“Why?”
“I don't know.” Shrugging helplessly, I knelt beside her. “He was acting crazy. He attacked me with a sword when I turned my back, and if he had been a little stronger, he would have killed me. He's a better swordsman than I am.”
Her eyes narrowed, studying my face intently. “What did you do to him? He never does anything without good reason. Did you say or do something to make him mad? Did you threaten him in some way?”
“No, I didn't do anything. I found him unconscious and was trying to help.”
She touched the red handprint on her cheek. “Like you helped me?”
“No. I shook him, but…” I shrugged.
“Hmm.” She fumbled with the bindings on his wrists. “Help me get these off. Maybe—”
“Don't do that!” I pulled her hands back. “I told you, he's dangerous. He fought like a demon. Next time, he might get lucky and kill me—or both of us!”
“You have to let him loose. He's the only one who can save us.”
“Save us?” I stared at her, puzzled. “Save us how?”
“He caused the Shadows,” she said urgently. “Everyone in Chaos is talking about it. If he gets rid of them, maybe the king will let us go home agai—”
I drew back. “Impossible.”
“Why? Don't you want to go home?”
“This is home. I need the Shadows like you need the Logrus.” I thought back to the unicorn and the Pattern, and suddenly the half-formed suspicions in the back of my mind came out: “Besides, the Pattern can't be destroyed. It isn't Dad's creation.”
She stared at me. “Of course it is! Everyone knows he made it!”
“He drew it, but it existed long before him. It's in me… and it's in other places, too.” I thought of the ruby hanging around the unicorn's neck. “There are forces at work which I don't understand yet. I think they used Dad to create the Pattern. If he hadn't done it, they would have found someone else… me, probably.”
“So it was inevitable?” she said, gaze distant. “Is that what you're saying?”
“I think so. Yes.”
“But why did it have to be my family?” Her voice rose in a wail. “Why must we suffer for it? I just want to go home!”
“Look around!” I said, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. I took in the whole of this virgin world with a sweep of my arm. “Here is a kingdom ripe for the taking. I'm going to build a city here. If you're not happy, there are more Shadows than you can possibly visit in your lifetime. Anything you can dream up exists somewhere out there. You just have to find it. You want to be a queen, or a goddess? Go ahead! You want jewels or riches? Take them! It's your right. You are a creature of the Pattern, just as Dad is… like I am. It's in you, too, at least partly. It's in all of us. I can feel its presence. You might as well enjoy your true heritage.”
“No!” she cried. “That's not what I want! I didn't realize how much I missed the Courts until I went home!”
“The Pattern is in your blood!” I said emphatically. “Look within yourself. Can't you feel it?”
“No!” she cried.
More gently, I said, “The Pattern is here to stay whether we want it or not. If that means you can't go back to the Courts of Chaos—well, we'll make our own version here. Call them… the Courts of Dworkin.”
“Don't make fun of me.”
“I'm not,” I said. She just needed time to get used to the idea of living in Shadows for the rest of her life.
“Chaos is beautiful… a tide of unending change… music made flesh—and the powers we command there…”
“Used to command.”
“You don't understand,” she said bitterly.
“You're right,” I said, letting a hard note creep into my voice. “I don't understand. I hated every minute of my time in Chaos. The only way you'll get me back there is if I'm dead!”
“That's why you tied Dad up, isn't it?” she demanded, turning on me suddenly. “He wanted to destroy the Shadows, and you wouldn't let him—”
I actually laughed at her.
“Stop that!” she cried. “It's not funny!”
“Don't be a fool, Blaise. Everything I've told you is true. You can see it, if you'll let yourself. Dad has gone crazy in a dangerous way. He can't help us now. We have to help him.”
“He must have had a good reason to kill you. You did something to him, or he knew you were a danger to Chaos, or—”
I sighed. She didn't want to listen to reason.
“No,” I said slowly and calmly. “As I told you, it wasn't like that. I found him lying unconscious in the middle of the Pattern. He kept saying the same strange thing over and over… 'Thellops.' Does it mean anything to you?”
She looked startled. “Thellops?”
“Yes.” I saw the recognition in her eyes. “You know what it is, don't you?”
“It's not a what, it's a who.” She licked her lips. “Thellops guards the Logrus.”
Chapter 6
“A Lord of Chaos.” I snorted. It always came back to our enemies. “I should have guessed.”
“He is more than that,” Blaise said. “He takes care of the Logrus. It's a sacred trust. After the king, he is the most important man in the Courts.”
“So he attacked Dad?”
“No. He's harmless… old and doddering. His mind drifts. Everyone says he's crazy, but no one does anything about it.”
“He's crazy?” That caught my attention. “How? Like Dad?”
“He… he talks to the Logrus. Treats it like a person. Wanders around mumbling to it all day long. I've seen him do it. It's… unnerving.”
Dad hadn't gone quite that far around the bend yet. At least, I knew who Thellops was now. Perhaps the answer lay somewhere close at hand, and I just didn't see it yet.
“How well do you know Thellops?” I pressed. Maybe she could get him to come here and help us. “Would he take a look at Dad, if we asked? Or would he betray us to King Uthor?”
“I don't know. I never paid much attention to him before.”
“But you've met him,” I said. “He knows you?”
“Yes.”
“And Dad?”
“Of course. We've all met him. Everyone in Chaos has. He decides when—and if—you can enter the Logrus. And sometimes he gives you advice, whether you want it or not.”
That piqued my interest. If magically powerful objects were anything alike, maybe Thellops's advice about the Logrus could be applied to the Pattern, too. If I could only master the Pattern and its powers, I had a feeling everything would be a lot easier for all of us.
“What sort of advice?” I asked. “What did he say to you about the Logrus?”
“When my turn came to enter it, he told me to bring a mirror with me. I did, and it became enchanted.” Her voice grew husky. “Though I've lost my mirror now, of course.”
“Can't you get it back?” Aber, after all, could summon almost anything across vast distances using the Logrus. Something as small as a mirror ought to be fairly easy. And an enchanted one might prove very useful to us here…
Blaise shrugged. “I will try later. I miss her.”
“Who—the mirror?”
“Yes.”
“What did it do?”
“She showed me the truth, always. Even when it hurt.”
Interesting. Unfortunately, truth didn't strike me as particularly useful right now. I already knew the truth: we had a lunatic for a father and no clear way to help him.