“You failed to stand up for a fellow Marine. And a Marine officer! So you could shove your nose up the ass of some dork who used to make movies and listen to him ramble on about stars! Your failure to protect the reputation and person of a fellow Marine officer over a ‘major Hollywood executive’ has reduced what little trust your subordinates have in you and has raised questions as to your conduct and honor as a Marine officer. Not just in the mind of a jumped-up Naval Captain. The incident, which I had investigated by several sources, was discussed with higher level command, and Colonel Ellington and General Brice are in agreement that it has raised questions as to your value as an asset in this operation. Furthermore, your failure to move forward to observe operations as well as your near inability to step into this compartment has raised and continues to raise questions as to your personal courage, which is an absolute requirement of a Marine officer.”
“Sir, I formally protest any questions about my courage, sir!” Wilkes said, hotly.
“Then take your fucking Barbie gun forward,” Steve said. “And, Captain, that’s not a request, that’s a fucking order. The specific order is, you, Captain Wilkes, will spend the rest of the day under the direction, not command but direction, of Lieutenant Smith, who will instruct you in the methods and means of infected clearance. Because, Captain, she is your number one expert at heavy clearance.”
“Sir… ” Wilkes said.
“Again, not a request, Captain,” Steve said. “She trained the fucking Gunny at how to do clearance, Captain. You can God damned well listen to her. You’ve been telling people they should move faster. Possibly that’s the case. But you don’t really know what’s happening up front, do you? Because you’ve been staying as far away from zombies as you can get. Well, you’re done staying away from zombies, Captain. Gunny Sands can manage the flow of material. Lieutenant Fontana will manage personnel distribution. You will go fight zombies. As of now. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Wilkes said. “But, sir… ”
“What is it about ‘go fight zombies’ you don’t understand, Captain?” Steve said, tiredly.
“Sir… I’m out of qualification on my M4, sir,” Wilkes said reluctantly.
“Okay,” Steve said, drawing a breath of foul air. “Captain, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt. That is either the lamest excuse to avoid combat I’ve ever heard, or you’re actually saying you haven’t dotted an i and crossed a t in a zombie apocalypse!”
* * *
“Hey, Ernest,” Isham said, waving at a chair. “Have a seat.”
“Thanks,” the former executive said. “So you’re the number two guy? Where’s this Smith character? I need to talk to him.”
“Over on the Love Boat,” Isham said. “Checking on the clearance operations. So, you getting your head back into shape?”
“Well, except for that incident last night,” Zumwald said, angrily. “According to Milo, that bitch was a Marine. He said he’d talked to her, but she needs to be charged with assault.”
“And that’s what we’re here to talk about,” Isham said. “According to more than one witness, you grabbed her arm and told her to get you a drink.”
“That’s no excuse for trying to choke me to death,” Zumwald snapped.
“Shewolf wasn’t trying to choke you to death,” Isham said, chuckling and waving a hand. “If Shewolf wanted you dead, you’d be dead.” He held up his hand to forestall a reply.
“You work with people,” Isham said. “You know working the politics of Hollywood. Let me just give you a little brief, okay? Some information you need. Okay? About the politics of this little hellhole called Wolf Squadron.”
“Okay,” Zumwald said, crossing his arms. “But that bitch is fucking nuts.”
“Yes,” Isham said, nodding. “Yes, she is. She is totally fucking bonkers. So’s her dad. You read that little pamphlet?”
“The one about ‘Welcome to Wolf Squadron’?” Zumwald said. “Read it. It could use a rewrite.”
“Maybe,” Isham said. “But here’s the thing. The chick you accosted last night? That was Lieutenant Faith Smith. AKA Shewolf. Boss’ daughter.”
“Oh, crap,” Zumwald said, shaking his head. “I guess that throws getting her charged with assault out the window.”
“Bit more than that,” Isham said. “The reason you’re talking to me instead of Steve is he was ready to throw you off the boat. Into the harbor I mean. The one with all the man-eating sharks. And here’s the part you probably aren’t going to get real easily. He’d have felt the same way if you grabbed any of the little bobsies running around the saloon.”
“Okay, what?” Zumwald said. “His daughter… I can get that. I suppose I should apologize to him… ”
“Might want to back off on that for a bit,” Isham said. “Some more info. First, Faith’s only thirteen… ”
“I heard that but I didn’t believe it,” Zumwald said. “Seriously? How’d she get to be a Marine? Oh, her dad of course. Duh.”
“Sort of,” Isham said, pointing out the window. “You see that ship? What I call the Love Boat. There are thirty Marines, including your buddy Milo, clearing it right now. Slowly. Faith and her dad, one Marine and a Green Beret sergeant cleared one that was a touch larger. Before they found the rest of the Marines. Then they cleared the fucking Iwo Jima, which is the size of a World War Two carrier, to find some Marines to, you know, help.
“Faith’s like a goddess to the Marines, and she’s actually good at her job, especially given she’d just finished seventh grade. Which is an important job. She does really important shit.
“Right now, you’re just getting your head together. Like the pamphlet says, maybe you decide to help out. We can use people who know how to get shit done. Not just as military. I only took the Lieutenancy they offered cause I have to work with the Navy and Marines to get my job done and it helps. But there’s lots of ways a guy with your background and work ethic and general get-it-done attitude could help. Problem being, even if you wanted to, right now the only reason the Marines haven’t gotten together to kick the crap out of you is that they’re too busy. When they get less busy or, for example, this evening when they break from killing zombies, I would not want to be in your shoes.”
“So what is this?” Zumwald said. “A military dictatorship? Beatings for free?”
“Yeah,” Isham said, looking at him as if he was nuts. “We’re on ships. And they are all officially US Navy vessels. Even most of the dinky little yachts. The commanders, including this one, are all Navy officers, even if the ink is still wet on the commissions. And even if they weren’t, captains of vessels at sea have a lot of legal control in any circumstances. By the way, I talked Captain Graham, boss of this boat, out of pressing charges against you for assault. Because you don’t get how badly you fucked up. I get that. He’s another Faith lover, but it’s also you don’t get to just grab any cookie and tell her you want another scotch. You don’t. This isn’t Hollywood, and, sorry, you’re not some big time movie executive anymore. You’re a fucking refugee in a squadron that spends half its time on the ragged edge. Still. You got no clue how tough it is to keep these vessels supplied.”