To Sail Beyond The Sunset

‘Yes, Miss Maureen?'

‘"Miss Maureen," my foot. Briney, you've had me in the past; you can stop being formal, now that we are alone. Do you have an erection?'

‘Now that you mention it - Yes!'

‘If you had said No, I would have burst into tears. Look, darling, I've found the loveliest place -‘

(Nelson had found it.) There seemed to be evidence that no one else knew of it. Daisy had to be led through two tight spots, then she could be unharnessed and allowed to graze - while we two turned the buggy around. Impossible for the mare to do ir; not enough room for her to back and fill.

I spread the blanket down on a grassy spot separated from the bank by a thick bush... and undressed while Brian watched me - right to my skin, right to stockings and shoes.

That spot was certainly private but anyone within a quarter mile must have heard me. I fainted on that first one, then opened my eyes to find my Briney boy worried. ‘Are you all right?' he asked.

‘I've never been more all right in my life! Thank you, sir You were splendid! Terrific. I've died and gone to heaven.'

He smiled at me. ‘You aren't dead! You're here and you're wonderful and I love you.'

‘Do you, truly? Brian, are you honestly intending to marry me?'

‘I am.'

‘Even with me disqualified for the Howard Foundation?'

‘Redhead, the Foundation introduced us... but it had nothing to do with me coming back. I would happily indenture myself for seven years, like what's-his-name in the Bible, for the privilege of marrying you.'

‘I hope you mean that. Do you want to hear how I'm disqualified?'

‘No.'

‘So? I'm going to tell you anyhow, because I need your help.'

‘At your service, Ma'mselle!'

I'm disqualified because I'm not pregnant. If you will raise up just a little, I will take that rubber mockery off you. Then, sir, if you please, as soon as you are rested enough, I ask you to qualify me. Briney, let's start our first baby!'

He surprised me... by being ready again almost at once. Even Nelson could not manage it that quickly. My Brian was a remarkable man.

Bareness to bareness was just as perfect as I always knew it would be. This time I was even louder. I have since learned to have an orgasm silently... but I would much rather sound off, if conditions permit. Most men like applause. Especially Briney.

At last I sighed. ‘That did it. Thank you, sir. I am now an expectant mother. I felt it hit the target. Spung!'

‘Maureen, you're wonderful.'

‘I'm dead. I died happy. Are you hungry? I made some tiny cream puffs for our lunch and filled them just before you arrived.'

‘I want you for lunch:

‘Blarney. We must keep up your strength. You won't be deprived.' I told him about the arrangements we would have that night - and other nights. ‘Of course Mother knows all about it; she was a Howard bride herself. She just asks that we keep a good face on things. Briney, are your parentes redheaded?'

‘Mother is. Dad's hair is as dark as mine. Why?'

‘I told him about Mr Clemens' theory. ‘He says that while the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys redheads derive from cats.'

‘Seems logical. By the way, I forgot to tell you. If you marry me, my cat is part of the package.'

‘Shouldn't you have mentioned that before you knocked me up?'

‘Perhaps I should have. You object to cats?

‘I don't even speak to people who object to cats. Briney, I'm cold. Lee's go home.' The sun had gone behind a cloud and the temperature suddenly dropped - typical March weather for Missouri.

While I dressed, Briney got Daisy backed into the shafts and hitched up. Brian has that gentle but firm touch that horses (and women) understand; Daisy obeyed him as readily as she obeyed me, although she was usually terribly shy with strangers.

By the time we were home my teeth were chattering. But Frank had the baseburner in the parlour fired up; we had my picnic lunch next to it. I invited Frank to share. He had had lunch, but he found room for cream puffs.

My period was due on 18 March; I missed it. I told Briney but no one else. ‘Father says that to miss just one is nothing. We should wait.'

‘We'll wait'

Father got home on the first of April, and the house was in a happy uproar for days. My next period should have been 15 April - I didn't even spot. Briney agreed that it was time I told my father, so I did, that same Saturday afternoon.

Father looked at me solemnly. ‘How do you feel about it, Maureen?'

Tm utterly happy about it, sir. I did it on purpose - we did it on purpose. Now I would like to marry Mr Smith as soon as possible.'

‘Reasonable. Well; let's call in your young man. I want to speak to him privately.'

‘I can't be present?'

‘You may not be present.'

I was called back in, then Father stepped out. I said, ‘I don't see any blood on you, Briney.'

‘He didn't even get out his shot-gun. He just explained your trifling ways to me:

‘What trifling ways?'

‘Now, now. Simmer down.'

Father came back in with Mother. He said to us, ‘I have explained to Mrs Johnson about the skipped periods.' He turned to Mother. ‘When do you think they should get married?'

‘Mr Smith, when is your last class at Rolla?'

‘I have my last examination on Friday, 19 May, Ma'am. Commencement isn't unticlass="underline" June, but that doesn't affect me.'

‘I see. Would Saturday, 20 May, suit you two? And, Mr Smith, do you think your parents will be able to come here for the wedding?'

At 7.I3 p.m. on 20 May my husband and I were rolling north from Butler on the Kansas City Southern Express... ‘express' meaning that it stopped for cows, milk cans, and frogs, but not for fireflies.

I said, ‘Briney, my feet hurt.'

‘Take your shoes off.'

‘In public?'

‘You no longer have to pay attention to any opinion but mine... and durned little to mine.'

‘Thank you, sir. But I don't dare take them off; my feet would swell and I would never get them back on. Briney, the next time we get married, Iet's elope!

‘Suits. We should have this time. What a day!'

I chose to have a noon wedding. I was overruled by my mother, my prospective mother-in-law, the minister, the minister's wife, the organist, the church janitor, and anyone else who cared to speak up. I had thought that the bride was supposed to get her own way about her wedding (if what she wanted was not too dear for her father's purse), but apparently I had been reading too many romantic stories. I wanted a noon wedding so that we could reach Kansas City before dark. When I found myself frustrated on every side, I spoke to Father about it.

He shook his head. I'm sorry, Maureen, but it is written right here in the Constitution that the father of the bride has no rights whatsoever in a wedding. He gets to pay the bills and he must give the bride away. Otherwise they don't let him out of his cage. Did you tell your mother why you wanted to catch the earlier train?'

‘Yes, sir.'

‘What did she say?'

‘She said that all the planning had been done on the assumption that the Smiths would arrive on the ten-forty-two, soon enough for a four o'clock wedding but not for a noon wedding. I said, "But, Mother, they are already here." And she said that it was too late to change everything. And I said, "Who says so? And why wasn't I consulted?" And she said, "Keep quiet and stop wiggling. I've got to pin this over again." Father, this is dreadful. I'm being treated like a prize cow about to be shown at the fair. And I'm listened to just as much as that cow.'