Then it struck him that this was hardly what he should be thinking about as he walked down the aisle to marry his sweetheart. Certain bachelor tendencies still needed to be washed away. On both sides of the ruined walls. The previously mined areas needed to be rebuilt. Though carefully.
He turned round. Simply put, he was happy. Ecstatically happy. That was enough. For now.
He caught sight of Paul Hjelm, sitting alone, almost out of sight at the back of the church. Paul smiled to him, happily, as though you could actually share happiness. Jorge smiled back, believing for a moment that it was possible.
Hjelm had sat at the back of the room because he was alone. He was alone in being alone. Even Mörner up at the front had his missus with him. Or his mistress, at least. But Cilla and the children had stayed in Dalarö. He had spent a few weeks getting close to them again, returning as the Prodigal Son and slowly, slowly becoming part of the family again. They could stay behind if they wanted to – and why not? Why make a big deal of it?
After the Sickla Slaughter and all that had gone with it, it seemed difficult to make a big deal out of anything. Maybe this was maturity, or maybe it was tiredness. The line between the two is often as fine as a hair.
What he knew for certain was that he was a man who had killed.
He thought about mountain tops. Several different mountain tops. The A-Unit’s, for example, the now-permanent A-Unit’s. They had scaled their mountain, but the official story was partly doctored, partly missing a couple of figures – and with them, the very thing that the entire plot had hinged on. That which had claimed all those lives. Money.
It was always money.
And with that, he arrived at the next peak. Baucis and Philemon’s:
The neighbourhood, said he,
Shall justly perish for impiety:
You stand alone exempted; but obey
With speed, and follow where we lead the way:
Leave these accurs’d; and to the mountain’s height
Ascend; nor once look backward in your flight.
He smiled for a moment, and a Shakespeare quote popped into his head. From A Midsummer Night’s Dream. ‘We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top / And mark the musical confusion / Of hounds and echo in conjunction.’
He climbed the next peak. An iceberg’s. His thoughts turned to Conny Nilsson. The Kvarnen Killer. The tip of an iceberg. And now he had seen a lot of the iceberg.
Was it growing bigger, or about to melt?
Of the Nazi gang, only the humiliated Bullet Kullberg remained. How dangerous were men like that? How many were there? Were they a real threat to democracy? Were they in the process of – more subtly than with the Sickla Slaughter – infiltrating the whole of society? Were their values and judgements slowly gaining ground? Or were they just the modern equivalent of the inhumane undercurrent which had always flowed beneath society?
The only thing Paul Hjelm knew was that he didn’t know.
Still, you could also twist the reasoning slightly. If Conny Nilsson hadn’t cracked Anders Lundström’s head in the Kvarnen bar at 21.42 on 23 June, then the Sickla Slaughter’s complicated web would never have been revealed. It was a Gordian knot.
He tried to find a sens moral in that fact. It didn’t work especially well. But he would keep looking.
The bridal pair had reached the front of the church. The marriage service began.
But Paul Hjelm didn’t hear much. He was elsewhere. Trying to understand the meaning. He wondered if there was one. After all, it wasn’t a work of literature he was living in.
But for a brief moment, he thought that he could make out the invisible pattern.
Maybe the meaning was the metamorphosis. The constant, necessary, lengthy, unavoidable, difficult-to-master transformation. Keeping your chin above the water, whatever the weather.
The marriage service ended. The bridal couple kissed. The police choir – led by a bellowing bass – broke into a paean. And Paul Hjelm thought to himself: a new millennium. He thought: Sweden. He thought: mankind.
And through him – the entire time, non-stop – a voice coursed; a voice which, with its last ounce of strength, said: ‘Paul, I love you.’
His eyes drifted to Kerstin, to her chorister colleague Gunnar, to the bridal couple Sara and Jorge, to Jan-Olov, to Arto, to Viggo.
The song bounced off the church walls, blending with its own echo and becoming a confused tune. And suddenly, for a short, short moment, he imagined that he understood Rilke’s Duino Elegies.
‘For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, that we are still able to bear.’
And Paul Hjelm sang.
He didn’t really know what he was singing, but he sang.
Until the end.
49
HE HAS LOST his language. He sits, waiting, hunched over. He is a wordless little bundle. The footsteps come closer, and he waits wordlessly. He lies on the floor and pulls the sheet towards his face, as though it could protect him. He is lying on the floor because he can no longer sleep in a bed. Beds scare the life out of him. He hears the door swing open in that unmistakable way that should be soundless but isn’t, it echoes through him, and he knows that it will echo through him for the rest of his life. However long that will be. The sheet is ripped away, a zip is opened, a crude laugh rings out and he cries and cries, beyond tears, and he cannot say a word, because he has no words for it.
His tongue is gone.
He is in the shadowy depths of Thanatos.
50
THE RED LIGHT of dawn spills out over the pale, shining blue sea. The azure blue carving its way up out of the display of colours. A faint heat haze dances on the horizon, and above the treetops at the edge of the forest, a light, fleeting mist floats. Several small rain clouds gather above the little stone house – without blocking out the sun, still hesitating just above the curvature of the Earth.
The curvature of the Earth, so visible.
All weather conditions, all times of day seem to be gathered in one place.
On the porch of the little house, a man sits reading. It is warm but raining slightly. The rain patters gently on the roof of the porch, and when he looks up from his book, steam is rising between the falling raindrops.
A woman comes out of the house and stands beside him; she places a hand on his shoulders, and receives his arm around her hip.
She can see the foam along the edge of the pale blue water. And she hears a sound, a mysterious clicking sound. And she understands what it is.
It’s the dolphins’ song.
About the Author
Arne Dahl is an award-winning Swedish crime writer and literary critic whose work has been translated into over twenty languages. To the Top of the Mountain won the German Crime Writing Award, which has also been won by authors including Ian Rankin, James Ellroy and John le Carré, and is the third book in the internationally acclaimed Intercrime series, adapatations of which were shown on BBC Four.
Alice Menzies is a freelance translator based in London.